my husband is 16 ywars older than me and my lover is 10 younger then me but i love them both in diffrent ways help
2007-08-21 06:14:08 · 38 answers · asked by candicerglover2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Choose one.
2007-08-21 06:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I suppose when you say you love them in different ways
you mean that your husband gives you security and the
younger lover provides the sex.
I think you should stand back and take a hard look at your life.
How would you feel if your husband told you he had fell in
love with someone? How would you REALLY feel? Imagine
it. I hope you would be feeling hurt and rejected - just how
your husband would feel.
Either walk away from both of them while you sort your
feelings out. Or tell your lover you want to try and save your marriage. If he loves you he will understand and respect your feelings. Then if you have really tried with your hubby and
you are still unhappy, it is time to break your vows and move
on.
At the moment the balls in your court.
your husband deserves that. After all if he is so much older
he is the one that needs the time to forget his marriage and
find himself a new soulmate. Someone who can love him.
After all if you say you love him, he can't be all that bad.
Good Luck with whatever you decide. I think you'll need it.
PS. If you have children - I feel sorry for them.
2007-08-21 07:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have thought about the problem before you got married to your husband. Why didn't you marry you husband especially he is 16 years older than you. If you are 40 now, your husband is 56 and your lover is 30. You seem to be treating your husband as a home provider and the lover as a sexual provider. The whole system is not fair to your husband. So you just have to let go of your lover and concentrate on your husband. Do it fast before you lose your lovely husband!
2007-08-25 00:31:27 · answer #3 · answered by mako 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can,t live 2 lives,you obviously don,t love your husband as much as you used to,or the age gap is now showing sexually and other ways,if your affair is more sexual,and that,s what you really want,and he wants you,that,s up to you,but i would think of the pro,s an cons about your marriage first,you say you love them both,do they both love you?doe,s your husband know about your affair,i think you have a lot to think about,take some time out and try and see the future with this younger man,could you trust him,would you feel secure with him,if you want to leave your husband,then do it,but don,t go to another man straight away,if the other man wants you he,ll wait for you,and understand your need for some time on your own,
2007-08-21 08:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by paul49177 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This reminds me of a "friend" I had who is no longer my friend. She had a lovely husband then decided she was bored so started seeing his best friend. Then she whined to me about how terrible her life was.
I told her: You made your choices and you made your decisions now you must watch them play out in your life.
Grow up. You're either married or you're not and FYI whilst you have the luxury of having SO many people wanting to get with your sorry self, there are those who have NO ONE.
I hope you lose them both then you will learn some respect for others.
SELFISH
2007-08-21 06:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by KD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no disrespect but you don't deserve either of them.
You made a commitment to your husband when you married him and you have broken that vow and if I were the lover, knowing you had done so I would not trust you either because how long before you do the same to him.
I think your only choice is to make your own mind up as to which one you want and tell the other one goodbye.
2007-08-21 09:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband you need to break off the affair if this man is 10 years younger he's prob. just in it for the sex. You have a history with your husband. Hopefully no kids are involved.
Sure would suck if your hubby got a hold of this...
2007-08-21 06:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by laceyluedwards 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh shut up you skank. You have no self respect or morals. If you wasn't happy with your husband get a bladdy divorce or talk about it. Marrige is supposed to be forever not just until you get board, of course marriage is gonna be hard but if you truly truly love someone you could never cheat on them or hurt them. Which means you obviously don't care about anyone else but yourself.
Women like you make me sick .....
2007-08-21 06:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know exactly what to do. First you need to talk to your husband because he is your family. He is the man you chose to be with for the rest of your life. The other guy apparently has no respect for you or your husband. You are to blame for this catastrophe so you are the one that has to clean it up. Sorry I could not help you but you need to straighten all this up yourself. Good Luck.
2007-08-21 06:22:16 · answer #9 · answered by flirty30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DNT BLAME ANY OF US IF U MAKE THE WRONG DECISION
if u love him and i mean really love him , stay with your husband and forget about your lover. If you dont and you really want to spend the rest of your life with the lover do that.
2007-08-21 06:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by i wish bob was my uncle dont you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the young one is giving you what the older one doesn't/can't? What happened to your marriage vows? Your lover is just that, a lover...if he TRULY wanted YOU, then he would ask you to marry him, and become a married couple.
Is your lover married to someone else? I'd ask her what to do in your situation... I guarantee you'll have an answer in no time...
2007-08-21 06:20:31 · answer #11 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋