Have you settled for second best (or even less) concerning something major in your life (eg, your partner)..?

Question

Or with something else important in your life?

Or would you NEVER settle?

Answer 1

Never - I love my partner and definitely the right choice would never regret that decision after 13.5 years.

Answer 2

It's either settle or be settled for if you think in terms of settling. If you will only settle for what you perceive to be the best, it's not likely that they will consider you the best. When ever we want "The Best" it's better than we deserve.

True love comes from not thinking about if someone meets all your requirements - they just do. Their qualities don't necessarily meet with what you thought you liked. Most people I know that are too picky either can't find the right person or keep getting hurt. People who are not picky enough end up with someone who idolizes them and they never really feel satisfied.

When I say the best is better than we deserve, I'm talking about in our own mind. So when you think the perfect woman or man is made up of certain traits then you will seek out someone who won't think yours traits are. Deep down, we all know we are not perfect and don't deserve perfect.

The best match should be unexpected.

Answer 3

I didn't settle. I never settle. If I want someone and they do not want me I move on. And I no longer want them, so that the next person I date will not be a settle, they are what I want. And I never liked two people at the same time. That is too dangerous emotionally. Now I am married to exactly the person I wanted and needed to be married to.

Answer 4

Well, one may not want to, but lets face it, we have to accept something from the choices which life has to offer. Thus, if we keep waiting for "the one" or "the cheese", we may wait for eternity.....

Yes, I'm not saying that life is only compramise. However, one has to be realistic. Wanting something will drive you to work towards it. So, even if you may not get it, at least you'll get the "Second best" if not anything.

Life is all about adjusting to situations and quite often, fantasies are just in dreams.

So yes, I'd settle for second best if I cannot get the best or what I want.

I did this before when I wanted to study fine arts but did not get admission into the desired institution. I had to settle for social sciences instead as It was'nt possible for me to pursue fine arts academically without getting admission into an institute.

A couple of years later too, I wanted to do my MBA from any of a few institutes I had in mind. I was ambitious then. However, again, I wasn't even considered for the interview though i worked very hard and did quite well. So, I had to settle for an institute that was at the bottom of my priority list, but I still managed to complete my MBA.

Don't mistake me for a loser.

Part of the reason I wasn't given a chance was because I come from a decent family and stay in India where 55% of the seats are reserved for the scheduled castes and backward classes, irrespective of their financial status or intellectual level.

Today I am happy where I am, doing what I want because I have managed to adjust and compramise. Otherwise, I'd be sulking, regretting not being able to do what I wanted to. If I hadn't compramised and settled for second best, I'd probably not even have graduated.

So, as Jonathan spencer would put it, if one cannot get the cheese one wants or is looking for, one has to look out for another cheese.

Answer 5

Think about why a potential partner wouldn't be interested in you. This will help you get a better idea of the type of women you would be likely to date. And if you discover that you don't have much chance of dating the women you would like to, think about what would get you there. And then make those changes so that you don't have to settle.

Answer 6

I try to never settle for less, as I am a perfectionist, but sometimes I for tests I just can't study any harder, I feel like my brain will explode, so I supposed that is settling for less.

Answer 7

Unfortunately I've settled...For the sake of my children, finances and relationship. The saying holds true NEVER say NEVER. If you have kids you'll find out that sometime it's best to just settle and let it be.

Answer 8

You always settle for at least a few things in life.

Anyone who defiantly trumpets that they would "NEVER" settle is lying -- or is rather young.

I don't mean to say I'm permanently dejected or defeated. I merely mean that sometimes it's unavoidable. However, I object to mediocrity whenever I encounter it, and am a perfectionist when it comes to my work.

With my partner, I compromised. He's actually not my usual physical "type", but his other qualities make up for that -- our senses of humor are very complementary, so he makes me laugh a LOT.

Answer 9

Yes, many times, I'm sorry to say.

Then I grew up a little more, got my stuff together and stopped settling. I found the perfect man for me and have
never been happier.

That perfect man says that most women seem to have to go through the stage of picking guys who aren't right for them or who are outright bad for them until they've been beaten (figuratively) enough that they realize what's truly important.

Answer 10

Yes I have settled for even less and will always when it comes to the ones I love. I liked this question.

Answer 11

You always think you aren't 'settling' but after a while you realize you are living with someone you can't tell what to do. They buy things they don't need, watch stupid tv, but at the same time think you buy stupid things and watch stupid tv. So, it sounds like I settled and so did he. The genders aren't meant to live together.