Been married 6 years now, and also turning 30 this year. People ask ALL THE TIME! We know we want kids eventually, but just don't want them now. What if the "maternal feelings" never come?
2007-08-21 06:07:32 · 13 answers · asked by KARIN W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For many people, "maternal feelings" don't come until after you've had the baby. I wouldn't wait for that.
I would wait until you are financially stable, your relationship is stable, your bodies are healthy (take time to get off hormonal birth control) and both of you are in agreement that it's not a bad time to start trying for a baby.
2007-08-21 06:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by sparki777 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then it never comes.... it for sure never did for me, not for an instant, so we never had any. The idea of kids was appealing, but the actuality of what my friends were all going thru seemed so different than what I imagined. And tho the idea was appealing, it never much got beyond that. At 55 I am still not sorry, because double incomes, travel, great jobs, time for ourselves, learning a little about everything...yadayada. became so appealing, and giving it up such an unpleasant thought... Selfish? Oh, absolutely.... a 20+ year and $250,000 per kid commitment was beyond what either of us really wanted to do.... And then even 30 years ago was looming the incredible crush of people, and the lessening of quality of life. We saw all of that in places like Africa, Turkey and Nepal, and smog now in Los Angeles and other cities... Mexico City, Tokyo etc, and we just groan....... Bejing has soup for a sky.....and we are beginning to see that our tiny planet has now over 6.5 billion souls, and global warming is real, not imaginary. At this point, it easily looks as if this will be the last good century. The Population Bomb by Erhlich (sp) wasn't wrong then and isn't wrong now.... it is indeed "An Inconvenient Truth". We do all we can to recycle, conserve, go green and all the rest. What good our puny little efforts will do to heal this planet, our only home, in the long run is likely very little.
2007-08-21 13:26:14 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you wait too late honey you are going to be in a lot of complications where you would be to old to have kids. When you know you want to have kids there is a time for it and let me break it to you gently you would never be ready for children no matter how you try. As ready as my hubby and I was we still weren't ready.
Baby maternal instinct would not come until you guys are finally pregnant and the baby is in your arms. You would not let that baby get into any danger and you would love your child more than anything in the world.
2007-08-21 13:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really a good feeling to have a child. i had a friend who thought she would never have a baby.....but got pregnant. Now her daughter is 2...and she is the best mom ever. Dont say that you dont have the "maternal feelings" sometimes they come after you have a baby and you hold your own flesh and blood in your arms. I was married 2 yrs when i decided to have a child. Now i have 2 and I'm 27. They are the best thing in my life.
As long as you and your husband want it....its the right time. Having a child fills up the void in your life. a baby brings happiness into your home.
good luck.
2007-08-21 13:16:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are not required to have children to be accepted in society. that is a very personal choice. I chose not to, not really intentional, but was wanting for my finances to be adequate, and by the time they were, I was well into my thirties.
There is no "Void" in my life,, and I know plenty of women who cannot bear children, and their life is not a total waste like some people think it should be. Having kids is a huge responsibility, and I treat my dogs better than many folks treat their kids....it is sad.
I do not have any regrets and my life is very full, I love kids, having my own was just not in the cards for me. We are considering being foster parents, just to give back to the community.
2007-08-21 13:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the maternal feeling never comes, you won't have children; and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't let people pressure you into being what they want you to be. Be what you want to be. You and your husband decide if and when you will have children. Let it be 100% your decision and no one else's. Best wishes!
2007-08-21 13:14:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You'll know if/when you're ready and if you never are, that's your own business. Don't let anyone pressure you into it. Parenting changes your life in ways that no one can comprehend until they actually have a kid, so you have to make sure that it's the right thing for you.
2007-08-21 13:15:54 · answer #7 · answered by Linda D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm 3 months pregnant! I am also getting married Friday! Maternal Feeling should come! But i'm not sure!
2007-08-21 13:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Krista M 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you're 30 and the maternal instinct in you hasn't waken up already I am afraid it will never. It's alright, not every couple wants to have children. Just don't make one to copy society. When you really want a child you feel it in your gut! it's stronger then anything and you know for sure.
2007-08-21 13:14:47 · answer #9 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Don't let people pressure you into having children. Who says everyone has to have kids? I'm proud of you for taking your time and enjoying your marriage. When it is time YOU two will decide. You still have plenty of time. Good luck!
2007-08-21 13:13:33 · answer #10 · answered by Brain 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋