I've been seeing this guy for a month or so, and we fool around. He gets erections regularly during foreplay, but loses his erection 10-20 seconds after penetration. However, when I give him head he is able to maintain the erection and ejaculate. He seems to always be making excuses when it comes to actual sex (it's cold, drank too much, etc.) but has no problem with any other kind of "action". This morning as he was leaving (with no sex last night cause he didn't want to) he gets on top of me and starts grinding, etc., getting off on it, and it was just weird. I'm 30 years old, not 13! I really do like the guy, should I just come straight out and ask him if he has erectile issues? But what if I'm wrong and he's just,.. different? Something is going on here and it's stressin me out, I really like him and if he's impotent we can get him help. I'm sure I'll get answers like, he's not into you, or you don't do it for him sexually, and I KNOW that is not the case. Anyway, please help!
2007-08-21 06:02:09 · 13 answers · asked by suekiemama@sbcglobal.net 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
It sounds to me like a classic case of performance anxiety.
This happens to guys from time to time. He is probably so focused on trying not to loose his erection and try to please you that he is putting to much pressure on himself which leads to the loss of erection.
This can happen from time to time, and the more you have sex with someone the more likely it can be that you will have times like that. Change the scene and consider some role playing to get his mind off of his performance in the sack. Change positions, he may be uncomfortably physically rather than mentally.
2007-08-21 07:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by chris h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would ask him if he's got some issue with penetration. Did he have some kind of bad experience with it or does something about it make him freeze up and lose the erection? Since he's able to "go" the rest of the time, I don't think it's an erectile dysfunction, but a psychological one. Good luck!
2007-08-21 06:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by Vbonics 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men have efficiency disorders that may take quite a lot of types. Sometimes its a question of time and alleviation with the opposite man or woman, typically it runs deeper. There's no method to inform what is going on along with your man founded on what you will have advised right here - you particularly must ask him. But earlier than you do, I'd simply recall that a few guys are enormously touchy approximately their "issues" within the bed room so that you will have to begin the dialogue in an excessively optimistic reassuring manner. I'd even have this speak clear of the bed room and no longer proper after getting skilled an additional episode. Finally, when you particularly like the fellow, I'd ensure he knew the way in which you think and that you'll be able to manage the reality with out judging him --
2016-09-05 08:20:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weird. I'm 29, and I've had a few weirdos in my time, but not quite like this guy. I would just ask him why he cannot maintain an erection during sex. it might be that he is afraid of pregnancy, or performance issues, or whatever. Explain to him gently that it is bothering you and try to get him to talk about it. If he cannot or will not, perhaps you should move on.
2007-08-21 06:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by beautifulirishgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to put it in, and he may not even know why. Maybe subconsciously he is afraid. He might even believe his own words,"Too drunk, too tired." I dealt with someone like this for months. Liked oral, liked to fool around, but always some excuse when it came to penetration, or worse, blamed it on me somehow (I wasn't wearing sexy enough lingerie, I didn't position myself just right) And I don't think he was gay, he masturbated all the time to girlie magazines. I think he had emotional issues, and needed therapy. That was my conclusion.
2007-08-21 06:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by Kate J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like impotence since he can get erections. Sounds more like premature ejaculation. This can be addressed and dealt with, but he has to be willing to learn some control mechanisms, etc. Since he does not appear too willing to acknowledge the issue and since it is mostly an issue for YOU, not him, this could be problematic.
2007-08-21 06:09:07 · answer #6 · answered by jurydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not impotent if he's getting off on everything else but intercourse. Sounds like he has some issues. Maybe he doesn't want to get you pregnant or he has intimacy problems. Talk to him about it.
2007-08-21 06:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by foolie36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he has erectile issues and they are probably not physical, but rather psychological. If you can deal with him as he is, fine. If not, leave it be.
2007-08-21 06:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by neoimperialistxxi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's gay. The sex that keeps him hard and makes him ejaculate is the type of sex gays indulge in. He may be scared of a vagina.
2007-08-21 06:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he might be afraid he wont satisfy ya, have you ever mentioned ex's and how they satisfied ya. that kinda nocks guys confidence. he aint impotent.
maybe he had a bad sexual relationship before you?
i do hope it gets resolved, best of luck
2007-08-21 06:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋