Is birth control really the answer?

Question

A lot of people on here are urging girls to use protection or get on birth control and these are unmarried girls! Why aren't we advising them to abstain when it is the BEST method out there? Don't we want to offer them the best protection against pregnancy?

Mommy, Dalice....you are already spouting the old matra "kids are going to do it anyway"....when will you wake up and look at the statistics! They are NOT correctly using the birth control we're giving them and more "education" ain't fixing the problem!

People, do you not see all the girls that come on Yahoo Answer asking "am I pregnant??" and many of them were "supposed" to be on birth control but forget or used it wrong. I rest my case.

Answer 1

I bet most people are going to tell you "but they are going to have sex anyway."

I think that is a flawed and dangerous argument. Why? Because if these are immature youngsters in the first place what makes people think they are going to use birth control correctly and consistently? Study after study shows that they DON'T and that's why continuing to push birth control is actually making the problem worse, not better.

Everyone has access to FREE birth control now and yet the numbers of unwanted pregnancies keep going up. Hmmmm, obviously that's not the answer.

It's all about making choices, so what we need to do is teach kids to make the BEST choice which is abstinence.

I totally agree with you.

And if kids don't choose abstinence, they can learn to take responsibility for what might happen (pregnancy) instead of copping out by getting an abortion.

But that's a whole different can of worms!

Answer 2

Okay, so here's how it is. All through elementry school and maybe middle school all the sex ed classes and stuff were "Abstinence! Don't have sex!" to try to get teens to never try it. However, around eighth grade and up, it changed moods a bit. The people know that this period of time is often when teens become sexually active (if their going to, anyway) so they need to change tracks. They know that some kids are doing it already, so they decide to prepare them best they can. Than means teaching us all about what STDs are, learning about how birth control works, learning to put a condom on a bananna, everything.

I know that it falls into the arguement of "their going to do it anyway" but that's the truth. Their not saying every single teen is getting knocked up every day, but truth is a large number are (even 1% of how many hundreds or millions of kids is a LOT). From heir point of view, since they only have enough money from the government to teach one class, it's more worthwhile to try and protect the people doing it then convince them not to.

And as for the people who arn't doing it, bythat time they should be smart enough to make their own choices. I'm a sophomore in high school, havn't had sex and not planning to for a long time. So, why waste telling me not to have sex when I've decided that for myself when they could be preventing other people from having kids in high school, getting STDs, etc.

Answer 3

I have advised both actually, but more about birth control. The reason being is that if a young girl is online asking about sexual advise then most likely she doesn't feel comfortable or have a support system at home. If you think someone is about to possibly screw up their lives by having premartial sex, then the least you can do is give them advise on how not to add to the problem by procreating! I'm assuming that you remember being a teen girl and the fact that at some point you didn't want to hear or heed a elders advise because you thought you knew better than them. It's the same thing for those girls. They don't want to hear "wait until you are married" because lust will take over in most cases and they will have sex anyways. My oppinion is that you should at least educate them about having safe sex, so they don't end up with an STD or worse HIV and/or end up creating another life that will follow their bad example and continue the cycle.

Answer 4

Abstaining from sex may be the only fool-proof way from getting pregnant, but it just doesn't work in some cases. They will want to have sex or they will be pressured into sex. I believe that yes, they should use protection and get on birth control. Many girls misuse these products though- we need to teach them HOW to use them properly instead of teaching them nothing and saying they should just do nothing. Nothing is more tempting than something forbidden.

If you insist on teaching girls abstinence, why not teach them abstinence AND teach them safe sex? Teaching them to use condoms and take birth control can act as a back-up to your abstinence plan.


And Sarah (answer below me), you say "providing birth control is like giving them a license to have sex". These are the values you're teaching your daughters? Look at it this way: Birthcontrol as a car license. Would you rather give your daughters a car license and have them drive safely/legally if they choose to do so, or would you have them drive the car illegally?

"Mommy, Dalice....you are already spouting the old matra "kids are going to do it anyway"....when will you wake up and look at the statistics! They are NOT correctly using the birth control we're giving them and more "education" ain't fixing the problem!" ...Education on how to safely and effieciently use condoms and birth control will not fix the problem? It will fix the problem! Telling children to abstain until marriage is not going to fix teen pregnancies- has it ever worked on every teen that heard it? No! Not all teens listen to this. We need to teach safe sex in our health classes- instead of burying our heads in the sand and believing teens will listen to us!

Answer 5

I do not believe that anyone is advocating putting a virgin on birth control. However if a young girl asks to be given protection then obviously she needs it. Young people that are already engaging in sexual activity are not going to stop just because they are told to. I think that it is naive to assume that they will. Sexual behavior is human nature and once that bridge has been crossed trying to introduce abstinence is not going to work.
Yes, birth control is the answer. It is not a perfect answer and it has problems of its own but I would much prefer to have my daughter on birth control than to have her pregnant. Those are basically the choices that are available.
When and if my daughter comes to me and tells me that she needs birth control I will respect her for being responsible and I will help her make the right decision. I feel gratified to know that my daughter and I have an open relationship in which she feels that she can talk to me. It is the lack of communication between young people and their parents that causes most of the problems that exist.
Lady Trinity~

Answer 6

I can see your point, but they need to be educated properly against pregnancy and std's. Yes...abstaining till you are old enough to deal with the consequences would be perfect...but we don't live in a perfect world. Tehse girls need to be educated that they can get pregnant or get a std...and some guys just aren't gonna stick it out with them. They need to know how to properly use birth control and condoms...and know that there is never a safe time for unprotected sex. Yes abstinence is the best answer...but it doesn't always happen that way.

Answer 7

We want to offer "kids" the best protection, with the safest options. Telling them there is one option, and it's in their best interest to utilize it, is essentially putting your head in the sand. Some kids will listen, and will abstain. The problem with your logic is, you believe they'll do it because we're telling them to. This is a bad way to approach things of this nature. Your approach needs to incorporate the idea that kids, and people in general, are going to do what they want, if they want to do it badly enough.

What you need to do is educate kids in the most up-front, non-bullshit way possible, to the honest facts about those things which we fear them doing. Lord knows nobody wants teenage pregnancy, from the older generations right on down to the teenagers, themselves. The problem is the understanding, the comprehension, that these kids need to grasp, which proclaiming absentance just doesn't accomplish.

Be honest. Offer the kids a myriad of options to add to their arsenal, so if they choose to make these choices, at the very least they have an understanding of responsibility and options when they make them.

Answer 8

Everyone can say "Abstinence is the only way" but how do you make someone listen to you? You don't. Even the most loyal, worthy teen could get themselves into a situation where they could have sex. Obviously the "well, their gonna do it anyway" theory is flawed because teens are still getting pregnant. So what are the options here? Tell your kid not to have sex and hope they listen? Or tell your kids about sex, how to protect themselves against it, and WHY THEY SHOULD WAIT? The choice is up to the parent.

Personally, I think that most parents still DON'T talk to their kids about it at all, and THAT'S why teens are getting pregnant.

Answer 9

Kids are not correctly using these methods because in most homes talking about sex is taboo. If one of your kids came to you and said I am ready for sex, what would you say. No, bottom line? That helps a lot. Kids are going to make their own path and yes you can express and should express that it is best to wait, but we need to be prepared for the alternative as well. My mom was one that said No, never until married and that was it. Due to my rebellious nature as a teen and also not being able to learn from my mom I was having sex at 14! I was lucky and did not get pregnant or sick as a teen but many are not.

Answer 10

This is a hard question to answer because I don't know why people are sending the wrong message to young girls out here. I believe the problem is with the parents. Some parents don't take the time to sit their children down and explain to them the consequenses of having unprotected sex and even having sex before marriage. And when children don't have positive role models at home, they do whatever.

Answer 11

Because not all people are the same. Not everyone shares the same morality. You CAN have sex and be safe. Telling a girl to use birthcontrol and to make sure her partner uses a condom 100% of the time is teaching safe sex. Giving someone a hard time, and not teaching properly is what gets trouble...as in:
"I had oral sex, could I be pregnant", or
"I am still a virgin, but he put it in for like a second...could I be pregnant?",

We need to teach girls and boys the reality of their choices. The "urging" is to girls already engaging in sexual acts, and would you rather hear "protect yourself, here are the realities" or hear, "Mom, I am pregnant"?

Telling a girl or boy to use protection is NOT giving them license to whore around!