i work a lot and i have a friend that i have known for over 15 years i would really like to hang out with him,but hy husband is extreamly jealous and does not trust me, because of his mistakes and guilt. still i want to go out and have fun, but i don't want to fight,and i don't want to lie.
2007-08-21 05:04:52 · 25 answers · asked by Eli 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Join a sewing or cooking and receipt meet-up group that meets one or two night a week and insist that your husband come along. It will be composed of mostly older women and your husband will be board to tears. Thereafter, when you invite him, he will find some excuse not to go. That gives you the cover to meet your friend a couple of evenings a month. And your husband will not be able to check up on you since they meet in different houses, maybe one or twice in your house.
2007-08-25 04:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to think nothing wrong with being a wife and going out for drinks with your male friend. How about, you'll probably be discussing your husband, marriage, etc...it's called loyalty?
Some marriage partners want to hang onto old friendships with the other sex. Unfortunately, it has never worked, and never will. It just becomes too complicated, and would make any spouse feel insecure. I'm sorry to say, but I think what you're doing, is not fair in the context of a marriage. I know most wives would FREAK if a husband even spoke to an old, female friend, unless they were standing behind the door themselves off course.
Perhaps you two have to review your commitment to each other. Sounds to me like you're already on the slippery road of blame and bitterness. Where to next? Divorce court?
2007-08-21 05:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by justaguy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way for you to tell your husband that you want to go out with a male friend for a drink is to invite him to come along. Unless you have other motives there is no reason your husband shouldn't be able to join the two of you.
If you are serious about your marriage then anyone that has been your friend for fifteen years needs to get aquainted with your spouse and become his friend also.
2007-08-21 05:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband doesn't like it why would you do it? If he did something you didn't like you would want him to stop.
If you are married you need to realize that everything you do affects the person you are with and vice versa.
Its not so much a matter of appropriateness it about consideration and respect.
I have female friends but I never go out with them alone there is always another male friend that comes along.
Not that she or myself have ulterior motives but the appearance of impropriety is often as bad as impropriety itself and can affect your spouse.
How do you think your husband would feel if all he heard the next day was "Hey I saw your wife at the bar with some guy!"
Innocent joking or not, I wouldn't want my wife to have to listen to that anymore than I would want to hear it.
2007-08-21 06:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by ems2000tab 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband and value your relationship...I'd think long and hard if it's worth risking him for drinks. Otherwise, why don't you both invite a few more people and bring your husband along. It also seems you two need to work on a few trust issues, regardless of who did who to really get you relationship on solid trusting ground. With or without the drink night ;)
2007-08-21 05:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have two choices. You can either honor your husbands wishes and make him the priority. Or you can dishonor his wishes, have your so called fun and put this other guy as your priority. If spending time with another man is important to you, you need to be big enough to tell your husband that he is not enough for you and move on. Calling it anything else is just trying to convince yourself that it is okay when in fact you a craving the attention of another man.
2007-08-21 05:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to either fight, lie or stay home. What else can you do? Either your husband trusts you, or he doesn't. My husband has no problem with the people I hang out with, I just went to a dance class last night with a (male) friend of mine - I don't think it even entered my husband's mind that I could be up to no good, he was just happy to stay home and work (he hates dancing).
2007-08-21 05:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to bring this trouble into your marriage. Go hang out with your husband and he won't have a need to get jealous. You probably wouldn't like him going out for drinks with a female friend to have fun. Theres no need to bring stuff like this into your realtionship. marriage is hard enough. Be there for him and theres no need to be hanging out with another guy. Two is company and three is a crowd in a relationship.
2007-08-21 05:13:10 · answer #8 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to tell him. You can't go. You're married and have NO right to be out drinking with other men. Do you seriously NOT know the difference between right and wrong?
If you go anyway, you are the most self-centered, selfish person in the world. You don't want to fight, and you don't want to lie. So? Get over your desire to go out drinking with male friends.
2007-08-21 05:18:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it'll happen, he is going to be upset unless you invite him to come with you so he can see exactly what is what. If it is going to cause problems then you should delete that and not do it. If he went out with a female co-worker how would you feel. And why doesn't he trust you? That's a RED FLAG!! Have you done anything to discredit your trust?
2007-08-21 05:09:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋