It's like he wants something to be wrong. I had just opened my eyes...hadn't even gotten out of bed yet. He works nights. So he starts asking me what wrong. Nothin, why? He says, well because it just seems like somethings wrong. I said, I just woke up, I haven't even gotten up yet. Nothing's wrong. He asks are you sure? Um...yeah!
Now this goes on everyday! WHY????? He does the same thing with his son...always trying to pry out of us what's wrong, even if there really isn't anything wrong! What's his deal?
2007-08-21 04:44:20 · 22 answers · asked by Lexie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OMG My husband (as of August 10th) does the SAME THING. And I say the same thing - I don't know if anything is wrong yet, I just woke up!!!! For a while he will be cool with the "what's wrong" thing and then for a bit, he will be out of control with it. I've learned two things. My face is very expressive and I am always "thinking" so, I give the impression that something may be "wrong" - because an old friend of mine used to constantly ask me what was wrong. Also, I learned that his ex of four years just up and left one day claiming he had "plenty of chances" to make what was wrong right. He said the communication was very bad between them, getting her to talk was like pulling teeth (how many woman don't like to talk?!) So he tends to deal with some paranoia regarding that. I guess he felt he missed the chance to make things right before because he didn't know "what was wrong" and he doesn't want to make that mistake again. Lucky me !! You should have a talk with him about it. Don't assume it is because he is hiding something, just talk to him. I told my husband that him continually asking me was making me feel like something was wrong and I didn't like how it made me feel. I assured him that if something was wrong, I would tell him. I guess he is going to have to work on trusting you to tell him if something is wrong, and you are going to have to honor that and be honest when there is something wrong.
2007-08-21 05:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is a "fixer". Some guys fear that there is something wrong and that the spouse is just not telling them what it is. He probbly honestly wants to help and make sure that everything is alright, that both you and your son are okay and that there is nothing wrong. It can get very irritating and it is not easy to break them of it. There are two ways you can try to handle it. One, you can tell him the only thing that is wrong is that you just woke up and the first thing to greet you is someone asking what is wrong? Tell him how his constant asking is a source of irritation. Let him know that you love the fact that he is concerened, but if something is wrong you will tell him and he does not have to ask all the time. Or, you can have a list of things that you would like to have done or taken care of and when he asks you what is wrong, just say, "I have been stressing over getting the carpet cleaned and I know we have company comeing and I just do not think I can do it myself." Or something like that. Now he will either spring into action "your white knight" so to speak and take care of it and fix what is bothering his bride, or try to tell you it is not that big of a deal and it should not bother you. So the next time he asks what is wrong it will still be the carpet unless it got cleaned. Either way, the carpet gets cleaned or he has something he can identify as the problem when there really is not one.
2007-08-21 12:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds much like insecurity.
It's not a "fault" per se, but it is something to lovingly deal with.
When someone has been hurt in the past in such a way that it affects their security in their future, it is their future spouse that has the most influence in "rebuilding" their confidence and esteem. Even though it's called "self-esteem", it is built or demolished by the one's they love.
A spouse has the unique responsiblity to empower their spouse and build up their image and esteem. This is your job now. Be very careful not to make him feel "broken" or disapproving.
I would definately set aside some time to openly, lovingly communiate one on one, not with children present, why he felt so strong that something was wrong. And, exactly "what" he felt. Get to the root of the source. Was there something you did or said that caused him to wonder if you are going to up and leave? Is there something you are doing or saying that reminds him of some kind of traumatic experience in the past? Go over every detail.
Remember, when you finally overcome this insecurity, he will be strong in that area, then when you feel insecure, it will be easy for him to be your hero. Be there for him. Be his best friend as well as spouse.
http://www.splashdesignworks.com
http://www.housefellowship.org
2007-08-21 11:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Turn this around on him, maybe he will see what he is doing. Ask him every 5 minutes what is wrong. Ask him why he is so worried that something is wrong with you. Give him a little taste of it, see what he says. Maybe he is just wanting you to ask him and he doens't know how to bring it up. But it does sound like he is hiding something and wants to know if you know.
2007-08-21 12:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by Linda K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not agree that he has something to hide.
I agree that he is insecure. People who are see something "wrong" in facial expressions, a tone of voice, a gesture, etc. even when there is nothing "wrong". I know, I used to do that all the time.
Therapy is what stopped it for me. Try and get your husband to seek counseling for his low self-esteem.
2007-08-21 12:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by rogerrogmo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's worried that he isn't doing something right.. or has suspicions about you. He's self conscious, and has little self esteem more than likely.
Guys also are Mr. Fix it's. They always want things running smoothly. If they feel that something is amiss.. then they put their Mr. Fix it hat on and try to find out the problem to fix it.
Maybe sit down and talk to him.
2007-08-21 11:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by umannjo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am like that some times. I find when I feel people "seem" to be ignoring me I think I might have done something wrong. Give him a kiss and hug and make him feel loved.
2007-08-21 11:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by Willie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hie my sister i think you have to take your time in decision making but i think mostly you will have to watch how he spend his night even though he says he will be at work coz a true husband is supposed to be worried about what worries you and the whole family.
i think marriage is all about understanding and being open to each other.Chances are high that something might be cooking somewhere maybe socially or healthwise.You have got to say how you feel about the whole thing to him and get him to say what makes him do that.
All is supposed to be done in the name of love
Good Communication is what makes the marriage stand
thanx
2007-08-21 12:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by zin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say somthing is wrong with him and he is trying to redirect his energy in having it be something wrong with you. Is this a recent behavior, or has it always been llike this? If its recent, I'd watch him very carefully, if its a forever behavior, I think he's insecure. Either way, why dont YOU sit him down and ask HIM whats wrong.
2007-08-21 11:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband does that too. It's because they are insecure. Don't stress about it. Just accept that is a part of who he is, and answer truthfully when he asks questions like that. Nothing more you can do. I wish there was an "insecurity syndrome" pill I could slip in his coffee because it gets annoying after a while. Whatever...
2007-08-21 11:51:16 · answer #10 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋