Ladies, if your married or been with your significant other for a long time, please help me......?

Question

to understand this!!!.....why is it that when your talking to your spouse he acts like he does not hear you? whether he's watching tv or doing something else....you ask him something or your trying to have a conversation and you get absolutely no feedback.....kind of like your talking to the wall or something. am i alone in this? any other ladies out there with this problem, and does it drive you crazy or what?

Answer 1

Yes, it drives me very crazy.But if a man is talking to him,he hears every word.I think they hear what they want to hear.

Answer 2

I tend to agree with Willie a bit on this one, and I'm the wife of 18 years to a wonderful man. One just has to learn the differences between how men and women communicate - in generalities, though, because some cases are different.
We women just talk more. Literally, we use thousands of words more per day than men do. Often when we talk, we are trying to just express ourselves, to get things out. When men hear, their first response is to 'problem solve' - it's just their nature. So one way to prevent that from happening is to tell your husband - "I have some things to get off my chest. I'd just like you to listen, please."
Make sure he is looking at you when you are talking to him - you need the eye contact to ensure he is listening to you. Another good thing to try is be facing each other, and if you still think he may wander off mentally, hold his hands.
Women do have to learn that with incessant chatter, men WILL tune out. Make your words count, and don't just blather on - that's what girlfriends are for, not your husband.

Answer 3

I do the same thing to him sometimes....but yeah i agree with you it is annoying. I don't think that it is done purposefully though. The way we handle it in my marriage is we just flat out tell each other i am not listening to you right now. We kind of respect that the other is involved in something else at the moment and we need to wait if we want the other persons full attention

Answer 4

It is a fundamental difference between men and women. Women multitask, and men hyperfocus. One is not necessarily better than the other, but when you realize this, and take it into account, you fill find that you have better communication with your spouse. Try to talk to him when he is not in the middle of something, like starting the conversation when there is a break in the action, like a commercial.

Answer 5

ah, poor you...or i must say, poor us! I'm married too, and sometimes it happened to me...my husband is a German and me is Indonesian, so we have such a big complicated-culture-crash-history, add with his chauvinist family, etc etc...

some people said that the men are just sooooo sweet at the time they want something from you. and i found that's true.

so better be patient. it's not so easy as i said it, but just wait until the right time comes. for example until the moment he asks you sweetly to do something, then you can easily talk to him.

or sometimes ignore him back will works too. i always do it to my husband when he's mad. and soon, he always gets curious...then the conversations come between us...and problem solved.

i wish u all good luck =)

Answer 6

Ok, Let's say you are watching your fav movie and someone just comes up and starts talking to you. Do you hear them or just wish they would shut up and wait for it to be over?

This use to annoy me about my husband, until one day I was doing something on my computer and he keep asking me questions. I got so annoyed I just yelled at him to shut up and let me finish what I was doing.

After that I've decided that I'll wait until he is done doing what he is doing before I try to talk to him. Or if its really important I'll just say its impotent and I need him to listen. As long as its really impotent he will listen, but if I over use that I'm sure he will stop.

So keep that in mind next time...

Answer 7

I am a male and I do tend to not listen to my wife because she seems to never get to the point. When she does get to the point, she does not want any input from me she just wanted to tell me the story. I also have a hard time finding the real point to her story. It is buried in the detail. Very frustrating.

I guess, I do not want to work so hard trying to understand thing I just don't get.

I am a man but I can change, if I have too, I guess......

The Red Green Show

Answer 8

absolutely happens to the best of us!!! i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and he loves his video games! and he loves zoning out to them and not listening to me!! I get very frustrated but i have learned to make sure when i am talking to hik about something to stand between whatever he is looking or involved in at the time so i get the full attention! Or say okay what did i just say? if he cant answer i moan and groan and then he says okay babe im listening can you please just repeat it?
!

Answer 9

I don't get it very often. I have been with my man 4 years and I rarely get that. I just always wait until all eyes are on me or he has no choice but to listen to me. I wait until we lay down at night or I wait until we go out to eat or we are riding in the car.

Answer 10

Hi, I get like that if I am watching a show and don't want to be interrupted til after. Guess you need to get his full attn before you start talking. Talk to him during commericals, follow him to whatever he is doing or when you go to bed tell him you need to talk.

Answer 11

My husband is the same way of the TV is on......he does not hear me or tells me to be quiet he just missed something, I do not have the time to watch TV, so I just walk off......so yes is the snswer.....