My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. I love him, and we have had some really good times, as well as some really rough times. Right before he proposed to me, I was considering breaking up with him because I felt like our relationship was not moving forward, we were fighting a lot, and I was developing feelings for another guy. The proposal caught me completely off guard, and I said "yes" because it is what I had wanted for so long.
Since then I have not been entirely sure I want to marry him for various reasons, including the fact that my parents don't want me to! But I feel like my main problem is the feelings I still have for the other guy. I don't think the other guy would ever commit to me so is it worth breaking off an engagement to a great guy for someone I would probably never really have? I don't know what to do, but we are supposed to get married in 2 months!
2007-08-21 03:32:21 · 13 answers · asked by elaine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would not break off your engagement. Hell my parents didn't want me to marry the guy I did, but after getting to know him and seeing what a great guy he is they liked him. Besides if you have a great guy already then why in the world would you want to be with some one you probably won't be with who won't commit to you fully as it seems this guy does???? You will fight and argue, but you will also have some very wonderful times. Seems to be the rule of being married. If you really love the guy your with then I think you should stay and not chase after some fanciful dream guy.
2007-08-21 03:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by skyicedragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if your having second thoughts about marrying this guy, then you aren't ready for that commitment. It would be best to break off your engagement instead of being another divorce statistic later in life. Another thing to think about is getting some counseling to help you deal with the engagement and also the feelings you have for someone that isn't going to commit to you.
Before you get involved fully in a relationship, it's best to take some time out to get to know yourself. It will help you in future relationships to also know for sure what you want in a life partner.
Good luck to you.
2007-08-21 10:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by ladybug30_98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you`re not ready to be married, everyone has issues but if you marry him then you will always wonder what it would have been like with the other guy. Marriage is a huge commitment. Be sure of what it is you want, before you become damaged goods. (divorced, with baggage)
2007-08-21 10:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having doubts (no matter what the reason is), don't go through with it.
Your heart is trying to tell you something.
Listen to it.
It doesn't even matter, if you would end up with the other guy or not. It's the point that someone else, was able to tempt you away from your future husband.
So your heart is not totally with your fiance.
Same thing happened to me.
I called the wedding off 2 months before.
I just wanted to keep dating and see where it would go, but I was having 2nd thoughts.
Don't go through with it, if your heart is not totally in it.
Good luck ;)
2007-08-21 10:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard and you have to deal with many issues. I think that love is all you need, but in your case, you dont love him so dont get married. Its not fair to him to bw with someone who has feelings for another person. A marriage is something very diffrent.. If you want to find out for yourself, then go for it. But if youre asking complete strangers weather or not you should marry this guy, then you know what the answer is.
2007-08-21 10:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
so cause he gave you a ring you decided to stay? ever think he knew you were going to leave and asked you so you would stay? My hubby's ex fiance was like you...said yes for the ring but never planned on marrying him. She is the same way now with another guy. Sounds like you need to be honest and let the poor guy go.
2007-08-21 11:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't sure you want to marry him, then don't. If you break it off now, you will not have to later contribute to the high divorce rate (and it will save you a lot of money!). It doesn't matter if you have a back up guy or not. Who says you can't just be single?
2007-08-21 10:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by Alli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you have is good and solid right now and you love him then stick with it.
If your parents don't like him for a good reason and your having all these doubts then open your mouth, the other guy shouldn't even be in your thoughts when considering something so important..especially since he isn't willing to committ.
2007-08-21 10:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break it off but not for any of the reasons you mentioned. Because you have NO idea what you want. Not fair to marry someone when you have so many doubts...
2007-08-21 10:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you are having cold feet or you are not supposed to marry him.
The other guy is what one would call a Snare.....a distraction. You need to really think it through.....
Never leave the one you love, for someone you like. Because the one you like will leave you for someone they love.
You need to make sure that this isn't a phase called Cold Feet.
2007-08-21 10:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋