loss of sexual desire?

Question

hello everyone i didnt know where to direct this question but me and my husband have been together for almost 7 years and here recently i have had a hard time getting excited if you know what i mean ? we lost our daughter about 11 months ago my mother says its stress and i just dont know but now my husband thinks im haveing an affair but im not !! i love him very much , i would do anything for him i dont have any problem with having an orgasm and i love having sex with my husband its getting excited thats the problem does anyone have any tips on how i can get my sexual desire back

Answer 1

Hon, you said it yourself. Losing your daughter and the stress of it has to wear on you. Your body is rebeling. Until your mind can relax you will have problems.

You love your husband, obviously. I am assuming you have talked with him about your feelings. Tell him you want your old feelings back. Perhaps a new approach is called for. Example: Even when I was NOT in the mood, my husband could get me excited by giving me a massage. The feel of his hands going over my body slowly and deliberately was extremely arousing. You have to clear your mind completely first; try putting on some mood music and listen to it and just let him explore you. There are also some wonderful creams out now that contain hormones that will stimulate you. There is hope, my dear!

And don't pay attention to what that "Blatherscaipe" guy says. All his answers are like that.

Answer 2

Enjoying your single life is likely what you need to do right now. Not wanting children is a choice many adults are quite happy with. The only thing that makes me wonder if you might want explore a bit further is your loss of sexual desire. We all go through periods when our desire is low; but 48 years old is a little young to not regain desire and performance some day. For many of us; reaching the age where pregnancy is no longer an issue can be quite liberating and enjoyable. The benefits of becoming intimate (sexually and personally) shouldn't be shelved forever. It is entirely possible that you are simply not ready yet, or have not met the right person for you yet. Still; it wouldn't hurt to mention your lack of sexual desire to your doctor.

Answer 3

I was going to say something flip, but I don't think I will.
You want desire, but you've, shall we say, mislaid it?
Not much you can do by yourself.
Step 1.) Shower with husband. LOOK at his body. Think about what and why you like "x" parts, the times or places he has put them to your good use.
Step 2.) Ask said husband to lie naked with you. Keep the lights on. Look at him again. Do you feel anything? Be careful not to miss internal signs of stress or tension. They may be incipient arousal or they may be anger barely supressed.
Step 3.) If nothing happened after the first two exercises, you felt nothing, nothing inside you remembered the feel of pressure and building heat, go directly to a shrink, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00.
The problem at this point is not going to be the nerves, but the cluster that keeps them all talking, your brain.
Doctor MAY decide the problem is with him. sometimes it is. Examples are sudden 'antisex' behaviors at the outset of excitement.
A mean word, a sudden rash of babble about work, an angry or disinterested glance at your body, any of these can cause cessation of desire and a trained pro will know where to look.
A man trying to bury a rage will do this sometimes.

Answer 4

First off, I am very sorry about your daughter. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Are you currently taking any anti-depressants? they may be causing problems with your sex drive. Many anti-depressants cause a lack of desire. Talk with your doctor and gets some professional advise. Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 5

Definitely stress. You had something terrible happen and that will mess with you every time. Maybe seek some professional help if you aren't already. When you figure out how to get you desire back let me know and I will have you give my wife some tips!

Answer 6

Traumatic experiences can lead to a great deal of emotional problems that you may not even be aware of. I am sorry for your loss as well but I would suggest talking it out, perhaps with a Dr. or therapist before you try anything else.

Putting a bandaid on a gaping wound seldom works.

Answer 7

After what u have been thru it`s no wonder. however you need to do something because he needs u to be turned on by him. I dont think porn is the answer. I`d say a counselor would be your best bet. I would say the problem has nothing to do with sex but you must figure it out and it`s hard to do that by yourself

Answer 8

Most couples fall out of sync after long periods of time. You both need to work at getting back in sync, Take one day trips, mini vacations, go on couples retreats. Reminisce and look through old picture of the two of you when you were dating.
Best wishes!

Answer 9

Take it slow. It probably is stress that is keeping you from getting excited, so just do some breathing exercises, maybe some stretching, and make sure you and your hubby have longer foreplay than usual. Talk to him about it. Tell him to take his time with you. Read up on tantric practices, and share your findings with him. Good luck. :)

Answer 10

My sincerest condolences on your loss which must be dreadful.

You need to try some experimentation. Costumes, food, lingerie. toys etc, will help get the zip back into your love life.

And give yourself time.The loss of a child is the greatest loss their is.