Is an emotional affair cheating in your book?

Question

I listened to a talk show this morning about people who stayed married but no longer loved their spouses for various reason. Most of these people had affairs of one sort of the other but the ones that intrigued me the most were the ones that said they had emotional affairs but not physical ones with someone other than their spouses. Do you think an emotional affair is considered cheating????

Answer 1

When you are in a relationhip with someone you have to be committed to that person. If you are talking, chatting, emailing or in any other way confiding in someone else and not your spouse or significant other, you are not being 100% committed to them. That means you are cheating. Emotional, physical or any other thing you do with someone else that makes your significant other feel insecure, or uncomfortable is cheating on them.

Answer 2

Probably. But, it all depends on exactly what constitutes an "emotional affair". I would guess that it means:
1) no physical contact of any kind - not even hand holding;
2) an heart-felt yearning/longing for someone other than the spouse;
3) pronounced reduction or total loss of feeling and contact with spouse;
4) shared intimacy - long conversations or other communication of deep personal feelings with someone other than spouse;
5) expression of love and desire to someone other than spouse;
6) loss of ability to have meaningful and satisfying sexual contact with spouse.

While that might not technically or legally constitute "adultery" or "fornication", it might as well be from a psychological perspective. An emotional affair severs the spiritual ties between spouses that constitutes true intimacy. Once that is gone, there is a "separation" that is difficult to overcome.

Couples living in such a relationship are no more than roommates. But, healing can take place. Spouses can rediscover their love for each other. Complete and total disengagment from the other woman or man, however, is absolutely necessary for that to happen. No further contact of any kind can be permitted with the person with whom the emotional affair took place.

Whether or not an "emotional affair" is "cheating" or not is just semantics. The damage done by such a relationship can be permanent and, therefore, can have all of the attributes of adultery or fornication. If that becomes the situation of an emotional affair, then it might as well be cheating.

Answer 3

An emotional affair is cheating in ANY book. And even the word "cheating" is immature. Being unfaithful to your spouse is the more correct terminology. It's not looking at another's paper in school, it's potentially destroying two lives and beyond.

Sex is not the only vehicle of unfaithfullness.

You are definately in need of repentence of your conduct, and an open discussion to your spouse of what you have been doing. In doing so, we only hope they are mature enough to receive your openness and willingness to talk about it to resolve it.

Hiding your emotions will ruin your relationship. Openly discussing it can repair a relationship.

At this point, I would highly recommend seeing a Counselor to save your marriage.

http://www.housefellowship.org
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Answer 4

Yes emotional affairs are infidelity and they hurt the spouse just as badly as actual physical adultery. You can go on line to 'on line infidelity' it has a lot of info on emotional affairs.

Answer 5

I don't think it is, but the person should be comfortable to talk to their spouse about anything.. otherwise i question their relationship skills. Yes, everyone needs someone else to talk to, but if you cant talk to a spouse about a lot of important things then their is a communication problem going on and the two should try to fix it..

Answer 6

Yes. In fact I believe that these emotional affairs are sometimes more hurtful and damaging than some kind of lustful, one night stand affair. Sex is about lust and it can overpower people sometimes... especially if there is alcohol around... but friendship, sharing thoughts, emotions, and companionship... that takes time and is a choice. Your thoughts, fears, secrets, hopes, dreams, troubles, desires, opinions.... those are intimate too and are so important to someone that truly loves you. I think I could forgive meaningless sex easier than I could forgive meaningful conversations and emotional bonding.

Answer 7

yes, developing feelings like that for another person other than your spouse is cheating in my book. That kind of thing almost hurts more than just a physical relationship becuase they are connecting on a mental/emotional level instead of just physical.

Answer 8

Alot of people say yes, I dont, I think it is a way to have a person you feel comfortable with and can talk to. If you are having trouble with your marriage you probably dont feel like you can talk to your spouse, and maybe just having someone to talk to will help you to keep from having a physical affair. Now the spouse would probably feel completely different of course.....so it all depends on whose point of view you are looking at it from.

Answer 9

In my opinion, emotional affairs are worse than physical ones. Often, physical affairs are one time deals with little to no feelings. The emotional affairs involve all sorts of feelings. The other person gives you what you're lacking and you may fall in love. It ruins way more than sex.

Answer 10

yes, anything you share with another that is meant for your spouse is cheating..even if there is not a physical thing going on. There are emotions just for husband and wife and intimate things they share that should not be shared with others.