Before I start im 17, grew up with a crazy childhood, no drugs or alcoholism, or anything. Just a very demanding mom and her constant yelling. I get set off at my girlfriend for stupid things and I will yell at her and she doesnt like it, I DONT LIKE IT either, how do I stop this I love her to death...I also get mad easily at little things and blow through the roof. What can I do to relax and not let these little things bother me? And what can i do to treat my girlfriend with the respect she deserves???
2007-08-21 02:58:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
some of you are thinking the wrong thing, I am not abusive at all, never hit her and never will, I have a crap load of respect for her and others, I dont know how to explain it, I had a girlfriend for 5 years until last year which is the one i have now, My mom moved from new york to florida and I just left my whole life there pretty much. It did hurt.. Leaving her She had the hardest time we continued to date for the 3 years I was here but eventually....Then I met my girlfriend now and we are good but I just get mad easily even when Im alone fixing my cars and stuff. I dont like how one of you said Im abusive. and id end up in jail im not stupid like that. Ive never hit anyone out of anger, I usually walk away, but i yell at her thats my only problems getting angry easily and yelling i do it back to my mom too. But thats how its always been, my family is really close, we dont hate eachother or anything. My whole family pretty much has anger problems.
2007-08-21 14:52:36 · update #1
First, don't blame your current attitude on your past childhood. That's bogus, we all have messed up childhoods to some degree but that doesn't give us an excuse to act rude towards others. Learn how to control your anger.
Some simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
2007-08-21 03:07:16 · answer #1 · answered by BAnne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Usually, (at least that's what I heard) the way you treat your mom is the way you'll act toward your girlfriend or wife. The relationship with mom is not cool and you hold all those feelings inside. Then it bottles up inside of you and you vent them out, unfortunately your innocent girlfriend is taking the heat from it. If there's a way you can write down on paper what's going on within - then set a time you can talk with your mom. I believe that's half the battle and you'll relax a little bit more. If you want to go a little further check out an anger mangement program in your area. You are quite young and should be enjoying this time of your life - but anyway try the things I've mentioned - hope everything works out for you.
2016-05-18 22:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K. sometimes it is hard to undo what you grew up with- yelling ect.
Even though things may piss you off you need to let out your stress (maybe by squeezing a stess ball or a pillow).
Try and realize the good of things too, remeber that your girlfriend loves you, and there is nothing to freak out about. If you feel like you are going to scream, just take a deep breath. It might make things better.
To treat your girlfriend with respect, treat her by doing something that she loves. You could go rollerblading down the street or stop for icecream. Just something very easy to show her how you love her.
You can also give her a card, e-mail, or myspace comment (preferably a card) to tell her that you are sorry for before.
I hope that helps!!!! :D
2007-08-21 03:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good for you for recognizing that there is a problem! A lot of guys have the highly mistaken notion that they should be able to get away with things like that.
First, you need to get you fixed. Check yourself into some kind of rehab center and get yourself retrained. Learn different ways to react to situations. That probably won't be easy since you are 17, but you should try to.
The change won't be instant. But I think you'll be much happier afterwards, and so will your girlfriend.
Good luck.
2007-08-21 03:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Lilly, you need help and your reaching out which is the first step. You may need meds, see a doctor and talk about it. Hows your sleeping habit do you sleep to much to little are you able to focus in school. Your only 17 if your behaving like that now imagine how your going to behave when you get older so talk to a doctor before you end up getting a beating or worse you beat her or some one else. If you get into with some one and blow you could potentially beat them to death. You don't want to go to jail at that age and I do suspect you may need meds.
2007-08-21 03:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just learn to relax, and look at things from a different perspective. When she does things that upset you, first of all, try not to freak out. Even if you feel like screaming, just calmly tell her that you are annoyed, but you don't want to yell at her like you have in the past because you love her. It may be hard not to blow up sometimes, but just be strong, and find the bright side of things. :)
2007-08-21 03:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! You may need anger management courses. In the meantime, if you remember you are imperfect (as we all are), maybe it will help. Count to 20 before you say anything. Practice being kind. Remember that there's only one person you can change and that's YOU. Breathe deeply before blowing off steam. Get some help!
2007-08-21 03:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by red 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Like everyone else said, find and enroll in an anger-management course.
The most common avice when you get mad is to count to ten before you start yelling.
2007-08-21 03:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by catsmeowjrk2000 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It could be because of the childhood you grew up in you just need to relax and try as hard as possible to not yell at her. If you are going to yell just walk away from her so you won't explode on her.
2007-08-21 03:24:00 · answer #9 · answered by Alexis M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah, you have a behavior that is learned from your mom for your whole life. It will take a lot of work to undo this behavior.
Try an anger management course.
It's good that you recognize this and want to fix it... that's usually the hardest part.
2007-08-21 03:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by nephthys76 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋