I quit smoking today but my husband does not support me!?

Question

he smokes arround me and tells me i cant do it and its stupid for me to quit! how can i actually quit smoking with him acting like this?

Answer 1

First and foremost congratulations on your first steps to a healthier lifestyle. I, myself have just recently quit smoking and it's not an easy task. I also live with a smoker who chose not to quit with me. However, I didn't get it flaunted in my face. It's sad that he doesn't support you even if he chooses not to quit himself. I think this isn't really about smoking it's more so about him wanting to be right and proving you wrong. So as hard as he works to prove you wrong you need to work twice as hard to stay on top. I suggest walking away when he lights up. You don't have to make it noticeable that this is what you are doing. Go hide out in the bathroom or something like that while he smokes. Carry with you some sort of craving diversion such as healthy snacks carrot sticks work great for me. Find something that works for you crunch ice, read a book...anything to take your mind off your cravings. It's will power and that's mental see yourself doing it and do it. Prove him wrong!

Answer 2

I am 28 and am currently quitting it has been 9 mos now without one. Your quitting and your marriage are a separate affair and the only one that can help you quit is ultimately you. Who aggravates you the least, yourself right so if you depend on others that can make you upset, that will give you an excuse to light up. Are you using a cigarette substitute gum,patches etc? Might help with mood swings. Just remember quiting is a very emotional thing and your husband may not want to quit yet. If he still smokes indoors make a nice smelling room for your sanctuary and let him know no smoking in this one and go in there and put good smelling lotion on and smell how good your hands and upper lip smell. To answer your question you are not wrong but either is your husband he just didn't understand, believe me I have a husband also and can understand your hurt feelings.

Answer 3

Good for you for quitting! I know it's harder when your spouse smokes. Set down some rules if he won't quit. But, first try to get him to quit as well. If he won't, tell him no smoking in the house or your car. Every time he smokes, make a face, tell him he smells, don't kiss him and tell him he tastes bad. Eventually he will get it. You are saving YOUR life, help him save his!

Answer 4

My husband does the same thing with me and food. He knows I want to lose the weight and I do well all day, but then picks on me when I don't have snacks with him in the evening. What's worse is that he complains about my weight.

I have accepted that weight loss is something I just have to do by myself with or without being picked on for it. I haven't lost anything, but think about it alot and hope that one of these days' I'll muster up the strength to ignore him.

I think it's really crappy when a spouse pushes us to be the person we don't want to be. It hurts my feelings. I can't imagine trying to hold someone back.

I guess it's about finding an inner strength and doing it alone or talking to friends. Good luck!

Answer 5

You are making him face his own addiction problems. By telling you that it's stupid is just his way of saying, he can't do it and you are making him look bad if you do it. You can't expect him to make the same commitment you are. It's almost like you are forcing him to quit at the same time. You expect him to not smoke around you. Make this your commitment and not his. Once he sees you can do it, he may try it himself, but don't make him change his habits around you. Change yours around him. Walk away when he is smoking. Ignore him when he talks this way, or walk out for a while till he sees that it won't change your mind.

Answer 6

I stopped smoking even though my b/f and lodger both smoke, I'm not saying it was easy, but I did it because I did it for me, and to prove a point to both of them as well! If you want tips on stopping feel free to drop me a line, I stopped almost 18 months ago now, it is so worth it! I now spend my smoking money on clothes every month, I could never afford to shop before, and now I can, so that is a HUGE bonus.

Answer 7

He's trying to sabotage your efforts. He is still addicted to the nicotine and does not want you to move on to a healthier lifestyle. You have to stay strong and don't give in to his petty comments. This is more about HIS insecurities coming out as putting you down in hopes of bringing you back to his level.

Good luck! It's so hard to stop smoking so stay strong!!

Answer 8

Your question is "How can I actually quit smoking with him acting like this?"

Firstly ... when you decide to quit ... QUIT.
Secondly ... when he discourages you, realize that he might actually just be jealous because he can see that you're actually stronger than he is to give up smoking.
Thirdly ... if he continues to discourage you ... tell him to shut up and go smoke his cigarette.

Hopefully, he'll get smarter and quit as well.

Answer 9

Walk away. When he lights up around you, walk to the other room or outside. If he tells you it's stupid, tell him you are serious and walk away. If he tells you that you can't do it, tell him that you wished he could support you then walk away.
Remove yourself from the temptation as best you can. It will be rough especially surrounded by cigarettes and cigarette smoke.

GL

Answer 10

Prove him wrong. Use his negativity to make you more determined to kick the habit. Maybe he is worried you might be more strong willed than he is, and that you might be able to fill his shoes?

Many husbands are like that. They suffer from low self esteem, and then they marry women who makes them feel stronger. You just made him feel weaker, but that's his problem. If you can kick the habit, do it for yourself, as a personal choice, not to stink for the rest of your life.

Power lies in personal choices.