How do u deal with a control freak husband?

Answer 1

Upon working with many couples, it is a fact that it is never a one-sided issue.

Many wives think that husbands wanting to know what's going on in their spouse's lives are control freaks, when in fact their not.

There are control freaks out there, don't get me wrong, but the perception of what really is a control freak varies from couple to couple.

You have left out any details in your question, leaving it open to automatic sympathy. It may be the way you say, but it may be that you are hurt and are creating this on yourself.

You may want to edit your question to add some unbiased details or examples.

In any case, you will rarely find it useful to try to change your partner. You can, however, change yourself. Ask yourself...

1. Are you conducting your life in a way that provokes suspicion?

2. Are you always or mostly closed in, leaving out the one you should be open to most?

** Wives as well as husbands should hide NOTHING. You should not be having secrets of any kind. That only leads to distrust to your partner, which in turn displays a reason to be suspicious. Many times, a spouse is quickly labeled "control freak", yet in so many cases, it's simply a matter of the other spouse is living in a manner of suspicious activity.

You both definately need to properly open up and communicate what and why you are feeling what you are feeling. If you truly love each other, you will not regret the talk and with tears of forgiveness and attachment, once again enjoy each other.

Don't be so quick to label. Can YOU be labeled anything?

Work it out and watch out for answers or those that make you feel better by quickly (and without any balance or details) jump to your side and stroke your back. You are not married to other people, you are married to your husband. You need to work it out WITH your husband!

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Answer 2

Control Freak Husband

Answer 3

I think everyone who says "divorce" is not answering your question. You are not asking whether or not to stay with him, you are asking how to "deal" with him.

The way to deal with him is to keep always this thought in the forefront of your mind: my decisions are my own. Yes, sure, listen to your husband's desires, and demonstrate to him that you're listening. "You're saying you want all the labels on the cans facing forward in the cabinet? I understand exactly what you're saying." Then, consider whether or not you wish to comply with that request. (Or maybe it even sounds more like a "demand" than a request. Semantics -- doesn't matter. Remember: "My decisions are my own.")

Let's say in this case you decide that, while it might be nice if the labels all faced a certain way, it's just not worth it to spend that much time doing it. The final step is to inform your husband. "Sorry, sweetie. I understand what you want and why, but I have decided I don't care to spend the time it would take to do that." And then follow through. Inevitably, he will repeat his request/demand either then or at some point or points in the future. No sweat -- simply repeat your reply, again and again if necessary. Don't get angry nor defensive, just repeat it as matter-of-factly as possible.

Ultimately, you have to think of a so-called control freak like a whining child -- annoying but ultimately powerless. Whenever he tries to make you do anything, just think, or even outright ask, "Or else what?" Or else what indeed. Think about it. Ultimately, he has no power to force you to do anything. What you do or don't do is always under your control as long as you keep it there. You never, ever have to give up your freedom to decide everything for yourself if you don't want.

Remember: Your decisions are your own.

Answer 4

You don't marry him in the first place. If you knew him well enough to marry him, you knew him well enough to know he was a control freak. So, perhaps your husband should be on here asking "How do you deal with a wife who accepts you as you are before she marries you, and then expects you to change as soon as you have a ring on your finger?"

You knew what you were getting into, and you married him anyway. Personally, I just made sure I found the right guy before I tied the knot.

Judging from these answers, I can see why the divorce rate is so high. If people would just stop knowingly marrying jerks only to divorce them a year or two later, the divorce rate would drop dramatically.

Answer 5

I don't know if you'll ever be able to deal. That is something that he needs to work on. Maybe he will be willing to go to counseling. Usually when someone is a control freak, it's hard for them to change. I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 6

I do too, he is a wonderful husband and I am in love with him so much, but he is a bit controlling. I stand my ground with him, that works. I just tell him I am doing this and you will just have to get over it, and he usually does. I hate that part about him, but the good in him overrides it. Just stand up to him at all costs.

Answer 7

Need more details to answer. Why is he controling? In what circumstance? As in, does he not let you leave the house or does he control the money? Too broad of a question.

Answer 8

Run. Run far and don't look back. It does not get better. With age this obsessive behavior gets worse. I know. I had a control freak father. we begged my mother to leave him when we were kids. Can you imagine?? Leave our biological father?? I disowned him. She divorced him and after years of healing, we have our own lives and decisions to make.

Trust me he will get worse.

Answer 9

I agree you may desire to get an entire time pastime in case you are able to. What others are forgetting right here(and in many cases cases it incredibly is the adult adult males, sorry adult adult males yet you're actually not consistently lifelike while it includes this)in spite of the fact it is that in case you have little ones, it is not incredibly hassle-free to get even finished time artwork if the pastime does not pay lots. There are Day Care expenditures and in case you're making minimum salary, sorry yet even finished time shouldn't cut back it! the money you're making could be eaten up in day care expenditures, that's pointless except you get 2 jobs and then while could the two of you spot your little ones? Do you have little ones? if so, you will be able to could desire to seek for the right thank you to cut back decrease back and decrease. are you able to sell some issues you now not choose? are you able to bypass to trouble-free television, purchase popular kind meals, not eat out, etc? it could desire to suck(i comprehend what it incredibly is like), yet once you're having financial problems, you may desire to think of of the right thank you to save greater money regardless of if it ability going without most of the flaws you opt for for awhile.

Answer 10

I married one and didn't realize it since I move from my parents house to his and didn't realize my mom was controlling so it was natural. Now I have woke up and told him no more. So talk to him and tell him he is controlling and won't put up with it and see what happens.