I have basically had enough of the way my husband is treating me and my children (mine from previous marriage) He is mentally abusive, moody, controlling and my youngest seems to bear the brunt of his moods and I think he is mentally abusing him by the way he treats him so differently from the others. I cant pack up and leave for financial reasons plus I work as a childminder from home so I need a place to continue working. The house/mortgage is in his name but we pay the mortgage half each same with bills. Where do I stand? any legal bods out there??
2007-08-21 01:48:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm in UK. My only income is Childminding. I have a daughter at Uni, 2 children aged 10 and 13 who live with me. He has one child from prev marriage who lives with his mum. Im named on the house but mortgage is in his name (we pay jointly tho) Mortg in his name because being self employed the rate was too high for joint. Its Not Sexuall abuse, its mind games with kids and moodiness and arguments with us. Im always sticking up for my youngest which causes the rows. I know it will damage my youngest in the the long run if this continues which is why I want out. I have no family within 200 miles.
2007-08-21 02:42:39 · update #1
You should leave, and live with a relative or buy an apartment or something.
2007-08-21 01:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by Bookie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It varies by state, but I believe in the case of children you would most likely keep the house until you can make other arrangements or come to an agreement. That may not be the case if the children aren't his and he didn't adopt them. I think you need to speak to a lawyer. I know my mom kicked her husband out, his name was on the mortgage, but both their names were on the house. They didn't have children together, just a previous child. She had to call the cops on him several times to get him to leave, and she had to change the locks like 3 times.
Contact a lawyer to get the most accurate information.
Good luck. I know how you feel, and what you are going thru. I went thru it with my mother, and it's not pretty.
2007-08-21 08:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not use the excuses of can't leave because of financial reason, or I won't have a job. Your child is in a dangerous situation and it is your duty as his mother to get him out of it. There may be more going on that just what you see. I am not suggesting sexual abuse but your husband may be extremely hard on your son when there is no one around to witness it. Get him out. Go live with family, friends, a shelter, anywhere but there. Consult a lawyer immediately for your options and be sure to include the abuse you and your children are exposed to. Please be a mother and protect your kids from this man.
2007-08-21 09:00:02 · answer #3 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the state you live in, you may own half of everything. DO get rid of him; he's a bad example for your children and will drag you all down. Check for local free legal service by calling the American Bar Association. Keep records of the abuse. Remember, what your children see, they could copy in their adult lives. No one has a right to treat another person as this guy is treating you and your children. Could there be a shelter for you all until you get more stable financially?
2007-08-21 08:54:17 · answer #4 · answered by red 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your childs well being worth. Half the bills because it would burdern him or my children are worth more and we'll make something out of nothing. It will be hard but the longer you stay the worse it is going to get. Can you find an apartment to fit your budget and work there.I would seek an attorney to find a resolution.
2007-08-21 08:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st off you need to talk to a lawyer... 2nd you should always let your children come 1st so if that means you have to struggle for awhile to make your children happy so be it... but on the house issue i know whats hes is yours and vis versa so the is sneakt but it will work... go take a restraining order out on him and the police will put him out make sure it says he has to stay so many yards away from you and your children and while that order is in place talk to the lawyer and see where you go from there... if you do this he will be out of the haouse until you can get everything the way you need it to be....
2007-08-21 08:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by M M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You left out some important details. Where do you live? Did he own the property prior to the marriage or was it purchased during the marriage?
2007-08-21 09:17:43 · answer #7 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to confront him....Talk to him when he is in a good mood. Or if you can't seek a lawyer because of financial problems, why don't you talk to a friend that can help you...good luck... oh! and don't forget to tell your youngest that its not his fault that his father is treating him in that way...
2007-08-21 08:56:38 · answer #8 · answered by Alrissa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave and if you can't then you need to start divorce proceedings and have the house decided now at least temporarily. If he is as abusive as you say then go to court and have a restraining order placed on him. He will then have to leave the house.
2007-08-21 08:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by chris d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, for the sake of your children, you just have to get out. There are places to go that will help you figure out the "other stuff" later. Somebody is putting bruises on your child ? Get your children out of that mess.
2007-08-21 08:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to a lawyer about this it's different in different states and you want the right answer, so call a lawyer.
2007-08-21 09:30:58 · answer #11 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋