he is now suppose to have major back surgery, has no health insurance. is unemployed and is getting married for the second time in 2 months. He will be laid up for 4 months ~ can I limit his visitation with the kids since he will be unable to go and do things with them. His Fiance is on disability and unemployed (kids do not have a good relationship with his newest soon to be wife) Will he still be responsible to pay child support? How do I get through all this?
2007-08-21 01:34:16 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first off, if your children have a good relationship with him, then by all means allow him to visit with them. let it be their decision. you're only talking four months, and if they can't be cared for properly, you don't have to allow them to go. also, you can use the old, "well, if he can't pick them up, then they can't go...." routine. as for his responsibility to pay child support, if he didn't have it modified, and tell the court that he would be unable to pay due to back surgery and all of that, then he's still responsible. I went through this with my ex. he was dying (and I knew nothing about it because he never told me, just avoided me so he wouldn't have to pay child support.) and never told the courts, and they still held him responsible. they told him that if he couldn't pay it, he should have had it modified, not run from his responsibility. IF he ends up on disability, there is nothing you can do. however, you may be able to request a guardian ad litem, who will oversee the best interests of your children. my ex had been running for so long that when he went on disability, the GAL put a stipulation in the payment arrangement that he was not allowed to cash his disability check until he paid a set portion of his back child support out of it. (he was released from any responsibility from the time that he filed for benefits.) that meant that he had to go to the court to get authorization, and then go to the bank that handled the child support to get the check cashed. if he didn't do it this way, he could have been arrested for contempt and jailed. it kept him in line, and he paid his support this way until he was hospitalized. after that, I didn't receive anything for the back child support, but I did get disability benefits for our child.
now, the main thing I would be concerned about here is, is this something debilitating that he could get on disability (or has he filed?), or do they think he should make a full recovery and go back to work? also, does the court keep track of the amount he has paid? check into your options for reimbursement, and make do until he is back on his feet. after that, it'll be time to make a lot of decisions, one of which would be to take him back to court. good luck!
2007-08-21 01:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by flgalinms 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very vague question.
1. Is there a court order for support?
2. Who cares if he is getting married, he is still responsible for his children.
3. Not the kids fault he is laid up w/ back surgery.
If he is not court ordered to pay and the kids don't wish to see him, then don't make them. But only if there is nothing on file stating he can see them.
If there is a court order, reread it, what does it state, was he suppose to pay, have health insurance on the kids. He may be in violation and you can limit the visitations. but you have to go to court first.
Its tough to get through it. But think about what is best for the children. If they don't feel safe/happy going over there, don't make them. You can't force kids to like there new stepmother.
Good luck
2007-08-21 09:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by nopeaken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support is a totally different issue than visitation.
He has a duty to pay child support as directed by the court.
You have a duty to allow visitation as directed by the court.
You can not restrict visitation in retaliation for his not paying child support. All that will do is get the judge mad at you.
He can not pay if he is laid up from surgery.
But if you happen to visit him and his new fiancee is there, you can mention he is $XXX behind in child support and you hope he has a swift recovery so he can start paying again so you do not have to go to court to get his butt thrown in jail.
In the meantime, better get a job.
2007-08-21 15:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still has to pay child support. But his payments will be greatly reduced since he is unable to work due to a medical condition. I wouldn't limit the time the kids have with him because that is hurting the kids.
My husband and I are in the complete reverse situation of what you are in. And his child support will be getting reduced because he works less hours. She tries to limit the time we get to see her. Withholding your children from their parent is something you should never do unless the child is in harm. And even then, that is a courts decision.
You may or may not get along best with him or his new wife, but you have to try for your children.
2007-08-21 08:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by elizabeth hunter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You really have your hands full, sweetie. You must go through the courts to find out how best to handle this. Most states have a level of free legal service; look into that first. Personally, I don't think I'd care if he can't visit the children. He's not a good example of anything, but IS a poster child for How Not to Live Your Life. I wish you all the best.
2007-08-21 08:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by red 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he's going to have surgery, he's still getting paid unemployment. If he's unemployed, he's probably getting health care from the government too.
Take him back to court - get his unemployment checks garnished so you get your money.
He made the decision not to pay for health insurance. He made the decision to marry someone who wasn't financially stable, he made the decision to have a surgery he coudln't afford. Those were all his choices, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be responsible to pay for his children.
Don't limit his visitation though. The only ones you'll be hurting are the children - they need to see their father, even if he isn't being responsible.
2007-08-21 08:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by I_Hate_Stupidity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why limit his visitation? Don't do that, it might just come back and haunt you in the end. His inability to pay child support doesn't give you the right to limit the time he spends with his children. If you want to go about doing things the right way, take him back to court.
How do you get through this? Show him that he isn't hurting you or making you bitter in any way. That means you let him see his children. If you limit his visitations or do anything that shows anger, it'll tell him that you're bitter and you don't want to give anyone that kind of power over you.
2007-08-21 08:42:25 · answer #7 · answered by Toby G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will still have to pay support but it will all be owed...back child support or arrears. You can not limit his visitation for lack of child support...those are 2 separate issues...however if he will not be able to care for the kids during the recovery you may be able to get a temporary visitation order stating such and then limiting their visits. If you need to go on public assistance until he is paying you...they will give you money for the kids and then go after him for what he needs to pay.
2007-08-21 08:46:25 · answer #8 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do, it will make you look bad. The reality is probably that he won't bother anyway. He is always responsible for child support, althoughif he cannot pay, I don't know how the law in your country deals with it.
If you sever ties, your kids will hate you and he will have a reason to put you down. I'd see a lawyer, but don't hold out much hope for you.
2007-08-21 08:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like he is having a tough time as well, paying for his back surgery, new wife, not being able to go to work. Cut him some slack. Don't cut him from seeing his kids. I think that would be mean. Try talking to him about the situation before making any rash decisions.
2007-08-21 08:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋