Marriage: Do Todays Youth Enter Marriage Too Lightly?

Question

It is widely believed that divorce statistics are on the rise in the UK and USA - so I'm wondering, what do you all think regarding this topic?

Answer 1

Today's youth do to understand the concept of marriage. They just want to be together without planning out their future, in other words, where are we going to live, and where is the next dollar coming from. But it all stems back to the heart. They think just because they feel something for another person it's love, so lets have sex, without the slightest thought to the consequences they will have to pay later. Divorce today is like just breaking up with someone, to easy to get, then on to the next. They copy what they see other adults do. We, as adults and parents, should instill into our youth the seriousness of the vows that we take in our marriages. Maybe if they could see that even though it takes a lot of work, two people who love each other can be happy and have a loving family. People stand before God to get married, but somehow they forget their vows as soon as the walk out of the church and if they wouldn't forget the promises they just made before family and God, maybe there would be a decline in the divorce rate. But that's just my opinion!

Answer 2

It used to be, when marriage was performed mostly in church, that the priest/preacher would counsel persons contemplating marriage and determine their reasons for the marriage. Often the clergyman would refuse to marry people not suited to marriage. Also divorce was frowned upon by society in general. Now it is considered a reasonable thing to get divorced and no counselling is performed before marriage. These issues and the loss of the feeling of "the sanctity of marriage has resulted is many of the issues of society in general today.

I will admit that my fisrt marriage ended in divorce, but she has dicovered that she is lesbian and that is why she could never feel comfortable in the relationship. She was not aware of her orientation before, having been brought up in a small town, and felt that she should get married and have a family. Luckily we had not had children, we had an amicable divorce and remain friendly.

My second wife and I are committed to marriage, and work through any issue which come up, we have a family and have been married for 17 years.

Incidentally I was 27 when I married my first wife and were both out of Uni. and felt we were ready for a settled life, but the orientation issue made a continued relationship impossible. Neither one of had a relationship outside of the marriage and sat down after our anniversary party and decided before she started medical school and I started graduate school that we needed to be sure where we were going. It was probably the best decision. Not going into marriage too easily but 2 people from a town of 1200 people thrust into a city of over a million views of life changed how we saw life.

Answer 3

Marriage is taken too lightly by all ages, not just youths.
Society has come to accept divorce as a part of life, it's not as taboo as it was decades ago. It is made too easy. The mindset of "I want, what I want when I want it and I want it 5 minutes ago" is part of the problem. Adultery is a huge issue due to that thought process. Not to mention the "me me me" complex associated with that. Lots of people don't put in the work to reap the rewards, and I'm not sure why but I see many people thinking they're owed something for nothing. This cascades into marriages. There's a problem people aren't willing to work on, it won't go away by itself and then the couple just decides to wash their hands of it when it won't get better.
My husband and I had extensive conversations before marrying about all the issues we thought may arise after the I dos. Both being children of divorce, we saw bad examples set and knew what we did not want. We also had strong feelings about what we did want. We both have the same beliefs in what a marriage is, how it can work and how we'd approach issues when it wasn't working. We talked finances and kids etc and have the same goals to work towards. Communication is a huge part of marriage and I think we're shown in society to lie, cheat and fight to get our way in lieu of sharing genuine thoughts and compromising.
Divorce rates are actually down in the US and statistics find the average age of marriage is going up. So maybe we are realizing not to take it so lightly, that it is not a mandatory way of life. Marriage isn't for everyone and some should just stop kidding themselves.

Answer 4

I think there is a different reason for the increasing number of divorces. It's not that people enter marriages too lightly, it's that people get fed up with each other too easily.

A couple of decades ago, at least where I come from, people generally got married much earlier than now, not rarely in their teens, not even rarely in their early teens. At those ages you cannot possibly take marriage seriously. What they knew and today's people don't know is how to adapt to each other. It was even possible to get married to someone they had not met before, and they lived together happily ever after. The situation was given, they had to live with it. Now everybody wants a "perfect" mate, whatever "perfect" means. Most people don't realize there is no such thing.

Answer 5

Divorce statistics are on the rise but the amount of people getting married in the UK is on the decline. So maybe couples
are thinking about marriage more seriously and not bothering to do it - I don't know!

Answer 6

People are not taking their vows seriously and, yes, they are entering into marriage with the mindset that if the 'going gets tough' then I can get a divorce. Seems many are just 'mouthing the words' without the meaning behind them.

I know Robin Williams new movie is a comedy, but perhaps we should learn something from it and consider some sort of counseling prior to making, what is supposed to be, a life-long committment.

Answer 7

'till death do us part.... seems ancient, doesn't it?! I agree that most people today do not take into account the hard work, patience, commitment, and love it takes to carry a marriage through. People just want to feel the thrills of walking down that aisle for instant pleasure, for the attention.. whatever it is but it's not true, unconditional love... Love will withstand just about ANYTHING! These days when a couple confronts a devastating event, whether it's cheating or a simple misunderstanding, they're ready to jump b/c they are more concerned w/ what their friends, family, and especially society are going to think of them. "So he cheated on you & you are STILL w/ him, oh you're an idiot!" We have become a people that run, a society that says I will not take any crap from anyone... so the minute the heat rises, we'd rather take off rather than help put the fire out! And it's getting too ridiculous - everyone's jumpin' on the band-wagon! It's a scary thought for many of us to get married b/c we have become so jaded.. who can you trust, who can you confide in.. the media, society.. everyone has made it okay to date endless counts of people, have sex whenever you please w/ no emotional attachments and they call it independence, freedom... well, this "freedom" comes w/ a hefty price... are you willing to sacrifice your well-being, your happiness, your ability to confront the worst in life just to fulfill the wishes of idiots who have created a world that compares to a blinged out, fast-paced, techie version of Sodom & Gomorrah?! People need to stop following the trends, stop making excuses for their actions or their inability to make things right. We may not be able to control the actions of others, but you sure as hell can handle what you do & that's where the change begins and we'd better start progressin'... I don't want to get dropped when balls of fire hit our God-forsaken earth!

Answer 8

Divorce is easier since women have become financially independent. Before, a woman had to stay with her husband due to economic dependency.

On the other side, people don't try as hard anymore. When the fun stops they get out. There should be a limit on the number of times you can be married.

Answer 9

This is a good question and something which has really been going on in these regions of the world which make us on the other side of the world wonder what's going on. Where I come from divorce is something which happens rarely and believe that marriages are not made for divorce. It's better be single but not divorce and all over in the news we are reading about divorce taking place even involving big names. I think what is eating these areas is lack of fear of God and everyone including the young children has a right of control over his life. Once life is not safeguarded to a certain level then obvious the generation changes changing every aspect of life. For a long period of time the western world has been taking this divertion in life in that from very early you can do what you feel like doing and even defend yourself and the same children will grow and have a family where everyone will feel and like to exercise his/her right to the maximum. If people of the west grew under guard until at the right time then even in their families they will feel that my partner has the right to tell me on what to and what not to do. Including the women. In a family obvious the woman has to be controlled as they are weak but in this case where the woman would like to life the way they want marriages cannot do. Where each sex has been given control to a certain limit these things don't happen and if they do rarely. All over the internet divorced men are looking for ladies to remarry, WHY, the ladies do not know how to live under control and immorality is also very high. To heal this will take time and must start right from the family and the governance of the people. It is quite shameful about this matter all together family is a matter of accepting your partner and how this thing in on the rise implies how spiritually these parts of the world are behind. Fear of GOD again has to prevail to curb this.

Answer 10

Some people cannot see beyond the wedding day itself, the big dress, the fancy party, everyone giving them gifts and attention, then reality hits, marriage is not all about the wedding day, it's hard work to keep a relationship fresh, and you need a level of maturity to do that, I don't mean age, as a lot of older people I know are still immature and I also know a few very mature young people.