Sen citizens, how do you cope living w/o spouse (died/divorced) & w/o child(ren)/grandchild(ren) at home?

Answer 1

I'm 70. Husband gave up the ghost 38 yrs ago. Children are out in the world seeking their fortunes. After retiring 8 yrs ago from a long career, I went back to some of my old loves such as gardening, taking part time temporary jobs and cultivating my greatest love which is writing. I don't want my children to take care of me and I'm independent as hell. I go places sometimes with organized groups like from the local college. I go on trips by myself to places I've always loved. I've had a few boyfriends but no one I'd like to spend the rest of my life taking care of. I volunteer for things that interest me like an environmental clean up that will take place next month. Sold the house last winter and down sized to a studio apartment that doesn't take so much effort. No way do I want a senior complex of any sort. Some people might like that but for me it would be depressive and very limiting. My car is old but still runs good. When I part with it I'll switch to public transportation. I do a lot of walking which makes for a healthy life style and cook most of my meals from scratch. Life is good!

Answer 2

Absolutely, it was difficult at first. I reinvented myself and have been totally happy since then. I now have the freedom to pursue my own dreams, which I could not do before. I am a disaster volunteer with American Red Cross, I take classes in many things that I have always been interested in. I don't have to watch what a husband or children wanted to watch on TV. I no longer always have to cook at night, I never have a sink full of dishes or laundry up to the ceiling. I have the freedom of having no time restraints. I travel when I want, can go to events, I have many friends and I love the personal space. I don't have anyone wanting to spend my money or telling me what I can or cannot buy (or sending me the bills for what they wanted) I created my own happiness . I don't look at what I don't have but how enriched my own life has become. It is a grand time in my life!!

Answer 3

At age 54 I had to cope with the loss of my wife of 34 years. This loss was eased somewhat, I believe, because my youngest son was still living at home. The following year, my oldest, my daughter, moved back home. Then my father died and my mother went downhill pretty rapidly so I moved her into my home and took care of her - actually, she took my bedroom and I took to the living room couch since the other two bedrooms were occupied by my children. A few years later my mother died and I got my bedroom back, my youngest son got married so I acquired some extra space to store stuff, but my daughter who is now age 45 (next month) is still home and seems to have no intention of leaving as near as I can tell. I get the impression she believes I'm so old and out of it that I would inadvertently gas myself while cooking dinner if she wasn't around to monitor my behavior. The fact we have an electric stove doesn't seem to change her opinion.

Answer 4

I am sort of surprised by this question....I hope you have not built your entire life around others....you have the right to do whatever you want, with whomever you want, when you want....you have been relieved of all the requirements of care, being there, supporting others...this is YOUR age, and you can make of it what you want. IF you have the need to care for others, trust me, there are plenty in need. Volunteer in your area a day or two a week...meet others and find new friends. Life does NOT end when the responsibilities of caring for family leave...in fact, a whole new phase of your life is about to start. Look at it as an exciting journey into the unknown. When you cannot do that, you have truly grown old....stop right now, take a look around you, and see just how lucky you are! So many others are not! I get this lesson daily, 24/7 living with a business partner who is on his last legs from Diabetes and total Kidney failure, ... a person who always smiles, goes about what he must/is able to do. Me? I probably would have given up long ago...yet people are out there who do not give up...and they need you desparately. Get to work, get out of the house, and get out of yourself. Good luck and peace.

Answer 5

I cope by keeping close contact with my remaining family, I am very close to all of them, I lost my wife of 40 yrs in 2005, I live alone but when I feel like I need to talk to some one, I don't sit and wait for the call, I make the call myself, some times people's lives get busy and you don't hear from them as often, IE: grandchildren back to school, soccer etc., Heck, I go to the games even tho it's a 2 1/4 hr drive for me. Don't sit at home and complain, do something! That's my philosophy.

Answer 6

Reached 64 years old 4 months ago and have been on my own for nearly 20 yrs. I've had 2 roommates in that time and now live with just my own independents and 2 cats.
Wouldn't give up my 'freedom and independence' for anything.

I own the 'keys' to the door and I come and go as I wish.

800 square feet all mine.
Don't drive and use public transportation.

Answer 7

I'm managing very, very well. Of course I had my time of grief after my sweetie died, and I still miss him like crazy, but I moved on because I had to. Start planning now for any unexpected event in the future. My husband died suddenly and I was totally unprepared, but I had a lot of emotional support and managed to keep going. My daughters live within 20 miles so I see them often. Volunteering is a big part of my life now, and it is one of the best things I ever did. Of course doing what I want, when I want to, and where ever I want to adds to the joy of single living. Not for everyone, I know, but isn't it nice we are different?

Answer 8

This is a cut and paste from another question I answered earlier today:

I have watched my mother [who is now 88] travel a downward spiral culminating with Alzheimers and beginning with my father's death in 1987....It is felt that had she not been so lonely and ALONE after his passing, she may have lived several more mentally healthy years BEFORE Alzheimers set in. Her loneliness was not due to lack of family visiting; friends or love; but due solely to no longer having my Dad with her 24x7.

Further, I had a 'touch' of this loneliness myself when my last child moved out permanently and for the first time in my adult life I found myself living alone - However, thankfully I read and researched and found that what I needed to do was to create a new life of habits and patterns and interests for myself...which I did. I am no longer lonely and in fact cherish my 'aloneness' as it taught me to be so much more interested in life's simple pleasures.

Answer 9

the the rest relatives is amazingly important. some human beings sense that they won't be secure in issues after a extra robust half dies. There are communities for dealing with this way of loss, yet maximum seniors does not try that. in the event that they're non secular, which would be a convenience to them. in the event that they have been in contact with community activities, they have probable made pals there.

Answer 10

I manage just fine thankyou, If I want company I can go out with friends, After an abusive marriage the peace and quiet is great, no more walking on eggshells.I wish I'd started living on my own years ago.