2007-08-20 20:12:38 · 37 answers · asked by marincaligirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm making the assumption this is cybersex in the sense that he was typing dirty talk with someone in IM's -- and more than likely talking dirty with another guy pretending to be a woman. (haha)
Just because you're married doesn't mean that thoughts and desires for other people go away, and I'm sure you have them too. He, however, has begun to verbalize them which is a dangerous situation because it can lead to a meeting someday and ultimately cheating -- acting out on these natural thoughts.
I'd tell him that you don't like this and that it needs to stop. Ask him if he'd like you to have cybersex with all the very eager and very horny men on the internet who are looking for an actual woman and not another man behind the other computer screen and I'm sure he'll stop it.
2007-08-20 20:24:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, yes, yes! Marriage is not only about a physical relationship, it's an emotional, intellectual & spiritual relationship as well. Many men rationalize cyber relationships and even porn viewing as neutral because they don't do something physical with another woman, but it is still disloyal to you and it is bad for him as well. For those who think I am giving a moralistic answer, I am, because the facts are out there about about how destructive this type of behavior is .
As a woman to a woman, I'd recommend the book "Every Heart Restored" by Stephen Arterburn & Fred & Brenda Stoeker for yourself, and if your husband will read it, "Every Man's Battle" by Arterburn & Stoeker. You can find them at Amazon.com and at most any christian book store for approximately $14 new. These are just a start.
This is a sexual addiction and is destructive just like other addictions. It needs dealt with in a firm but loving manner, but it will be his choice whether or not to deal with it. A professional counselor would probably be able to help you and him deal with the core issues behind this problem.
Another book I would recommend (if your spouse refuses to deal with this issue, or negates it, or thinks you've got the problem) is "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson, PhD, also from a christian perspective.
2007-08-20 20:49:07 · answer #2 · answered by anachronist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, pretty much..he just didn't put it in...I mean if you did it, don't you think it would upset him? I'll bet if the was reversed he would be livid.
Looking is looking as long as there's nothing behind it. It's one thing to fantasize about stuff...but he's your husband and shouldn't be playing around like this, even if he doesn't have any intentions of pursuing this woman. It's disrespectful and hurtful to you and the relationship you share. He should only be intimate with you, and in order to get to that point with someone there's usually some form of intimacy. What if he continues to speak with this woman and she asks him to meet? It may have started out as innocent play, but could possibly lead to bigger issues. Keep in mind, he's only human.
2007-08-20 20:18:56 · answer #3 · answered by Marissa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babe as I see you have 34 other answers here. I'll make this very simple for you. Whatever your partner does that hurts your feelings is considered cheating/being mean.
P.S. Everyone has their own personal defintion of what cheating is. And as I see it he wasn't cheating on you. But see, I'm not you. So having one thing float my boat may just sink your battle ship. Think about what cyber is about and then determine for yourself if he is really hurting you or not.
2007-08-20 21:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider it cheating. If my girlfriend was cybering it would really anger me. I'm very protective and I get jealous easily to. I could see making friends online because sometimes you get lonley and need some friends but cybering is taking it way too far.
2007-08-20 20:18:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jon 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheat means be sexually unfaithful to one's partner, may it be in mind or reality. Cybersex takes also full attention from the person doing it, so 100% cheat.
2007-08-20 20:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by Rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your husband and sincere to him then you are not expecting same from him. IT'S CHEATING AT HIS END. Try to explain your love and care to him or give warning that stop it or you will get the same from me.
2007-08-20 20:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by MEENA M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely if you thought you have done it according to the Bible. But dropping your pants and talking nasty to women on the net is taking it a couple steps higher. Things may get so bad they may meet for the real deal behind your back.
2007-08-20 20:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by mikef1234 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Any form of intimacy other than with you would be considered cheating.
2007-08-20 20:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes it is considered cheating. no matter if it's physical or not, he still establish some type of emotional connection with the other person.
2007-08-20 20:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋