Married and on two different pages......men and women, I NEED HELP?

Question

I have been married for 7 yrs; 3 children; The last 5 yrs, I was the bread winner. Yr 6, when I was pregnant w/our last child, I went into pre-term labor at 6 mos. I knew then that I was stressed out. Doing too much, everything that I do now (stay at home mome) plus work 45 hrs per wk. So I decided to work from home, start my own business, eliminate day care, and raise my babies. I did make a really good profit, more than my 9-5! Yr 7 (last yr), was the roughest ever, yet I still managed to pull thru. Now business is slower than before, I still manage to bring in money; day care is still an issue $$, my husband is pressuring me everyday to get another job. He over look, I run a business at home & see after 3 kids (10, 5, & 2). (I'm working right now) All he sees is me at home. He is looking at paying bills & saving a little. I am looking at eliminating bills & saving alot. I told him, God wants me home with the kids, he said, I am not being logical, & using God as an excuse.

Answer 1

He is definitely on a different page. Why does he not get a better paying job or a second job?

Tell him to back off a little, your business is just going through a quiet phase which will pass and when it does he'll be moaning that your doing too much. Men!

Answer 2

Same page? You two are not even in the same BOOK! And what has your husband been doing for the past five years if you have been making most the money and having babies? Even if he was going to school, he should be done by now! If he wants you to be the bread winner, he should be home with the children. If he wants you home with the children (or if that's what you want), then he needs to step it up, be a man, and take financial care of his family. If he wants logic, take some of the other suggestions about adding up bills you pay for and child care costs if you weren't at home. But also use the info from Salary.com which found that stay at home moms are worth over $130,000 per year! If he wants you to make more money, he should pay you the salary you're worth! The website also has a really fun Salary Wizard feature to determine based on where you live and how many hours each week you spend doing specific things, how much you personally are worth. You need to have a serious talk and soon, or you will have major resentment issues.

Answer 3

Well first of all good job on taking responsibility for your children and paying the bills! Seems you and your husband are at an impasse. Why do you let him know about the money you guys save when you stay at home? If he insist tell him you will go back to work but he has to look after the kids when you are working so the family does not increase its expenditure with day care.

Answer 4

Thats a mess. Automatically you and him are on different pages but instead of just telling him that god wants you home with the kids why don't you and him have a conversation about the pros and cons on each situation and try to come up with a compromise that would suit both you and your financial situation because you were aware that before you started working from home that you were the bread winner and that was going to strain your finances. You guys need to be open about your feels and about the positives and negatives of each option because if you don't finances will stay in a strain, you 2 will stay on different pages and it will also eventually strain the relationship and the family life. Talk soon and be open for suggestions

Answer 5

Write down all of the monthly bills that you personally have been responsible for. Also add in any money that you were able to save. Compare this to any outside work that you may be able to get and then subtract the child care costs. Show your husband the differences and ask him if he wants you to stop paying the bills now and let him handle them for the next couple of months while you are out seeking further employment or if he wants to admit that he is wrong now and save face.

Answer 6

Being the mom of 3 kids is a full time job in itself so you are going well above and beyond the call of duty. I believe you are right about God wanting you to raise your children. People choose not to believe what God wants when it isn't what they want. Sounds like that is what your hubby is doing. Maybe he could do your job for a day and see that it is work. Leave a list of the things you do each day so he doesn't skimp out of any of it. Then when he is exhausted, remind him that you not only do all of that...you are running your business too!

Answer 7

If you went out to work, could you even make enough profit after child care for three children?

You are working a job and taking care of the home and children. If your family needs more money, then it's his job to provide it.

Answer 8

If your working from home and earning money why do you need day care ? you dont.

You havent said if your husband is working and how much he is contributing financially , emotionally , physically to the whole situation.

And what in the name of everything human has god got to do with it ? seriously I know everyone has their beliefs but sweetheart God didnt sit you down and say listen this is what I want you to do? and if he did could you gimme his private number?

realistically your ok working bringing in money doing the house chores and keeping your babies happy , sounds to me like there's more to this then your revealing honestly.

Answer 9

Tell him that you have made your decision about raising the children, and working at home. Tell him that he feels that he needs more money, get a second job. Tell him that you already have two. Work and the kids!!

Answer 10

Men never understand when we stay home, all they see is your at home. And yes your doing the right thing by being there. God does want us to be home with our kids. I 'm home with my son and I love being with him as much as possible. All I can say is to pray about it to God and watch him answer all your prayers. Be blessed in the Lord and have a good night.