My mom is cheating on my dad and I told him. Was I wrong?

Question

I'm 24 and I know that I need to keep my mouth shut but I've had it. She's a heavy drinker and everyone in this small town of mine is asking me about my mom. My dad knows about the guy but expects "God" To tell him what to do... Well it's been 9 years now and he's still putting up with it. He's too nice and too scared of her to say it's over. Now I think it's done (the marriage) and now I regret ever telling him everything. Although, life without her would be better for him. She's torn this family apart and she's probably one of the meanest people you'll ever meet. I think she's disowned (sp?) me for good. Again, he already knows about this guy but I told him that we are all embarrased of her and her drinking/ cheating. He agreed. But was I wrong to say all that? He's the nicest man in the world. I just couldnt sit there and watch anymore...

Answer 1

I don't feel you were wrong! Maybe now your father can go and start a new life, maybe even meet someone who deserves a nice guy like him. Don't worry about your mother, she has created the life she lives all by herself. She is the only one who can change it. Let's just say God spoke through you!

Answer 2

From previous experience, I'd prefer to have my daughter tell me what her father is doing if he's cheating. It may hurt for a little while, but if he's got your back, then that is very important. I hate not knowing for sure what he did and didn't do, and having to believe rumors and guesses, or conclusions drawn from pictures (which he denies). The not knowing hurts more than the knowing sometimes. I hate what I do know, but if someone I trust had been there who could tell me EVERY thing in every detail, then he could not deny it and lie to me. Oh wait a minute, I used to trust him and he was there for HER. I think what you did was right, because it confirmed for him what he was already knew or was thinking.

Answer 3

It's too bad that you had to even go through this. Really, I don't think you were wrong. You're Dad probably needed to know that you care about him enough to stick up for him. Your mother may have broken him down so much that he can't really make the decision to leave. Maybe your words gave him some courage.

Answer 4

I think your mum treating you all badly due to her drinking addiction helped guide your hand and judgement of her.

You have a lot of pent up anger and I think you need to see someone and get it out before you do anything else that effects people's live's your parents are adult and by the sounds of it christians hence your dad not leaving her .

Your 24 time to start acting it and taking responsibility for your own life and ignoring other people's live's and choice's.

Answer 5

Even though your father already knew of her actions, I applaud you for speaking up. I would have done the same thing. I suspect that your father has an issue of "out of sight, out of mind." In other words refusing to believe what was so obvious to you and others. Maybe somebody else telling him the truth will convince him to do what he deep down knows must be done.

Answer 6

I can relate to this honey, oh yeah I can. You where right to tell, I can tell your dad means the world to you. Its always bad if they re a mean drinker, all mouth, vicious, rude and they think it is everyone Else's fault they are the way they are. We all put up with it for all our lives, we (the kids) did all leave and rejected her for a long time, my dad rode it out. I admire him for that.. but still don't understand why he did though. Get on with your life, she will need you before you need her. Be strong and good look xxx

Answer 7

you did the right thing same thing happened to my mother(not father)before my mom and dad got married my father had a child with someone esle (he didnt get married to the other girl)but mom didnt leave him now she is suffering for that mistake she should have left him at that time but she couldnt and i couldnt do anything because i was a small child
but i think you did the rite thing by telling you father he' ll not have to suffer by looking at your mother with another man

Answer 8

sometimes I think that parents forget know matter what age a child is, there always looking up and watching,listening and observing what their parents are doing.I can only offer my own personal experience,because I believe opinion are only serving the opinion est.my 8 yr. old son told me that my husband was cheating on me...he meant no harm,and explained to me that,the girl daddy was with was gross, and he didn't want me to leave.Then he told me her name and showed me were they would go.my son wasn't trying to hurt me or even hurt his dad...he didn't like someone else,messing with his family.carma has a funny way of taking care of the negativity....and your father has to find his own way of dealing with the the journey infront of him.love both of them if you can without pointing fingers,they have to do the rest.and yes I believe that you did the right thig by speaking to your father......the words at your front door that says"welcome?" does not mean that any one has the right to walk all over you ;wipe there feet all over your back;and then come in and disrespect you to your face.keep your chin up you two! blessed be.....

Answer 9

In my opinion, not to be ugly, but I wouldn't have done so! that's just me! In my opinion, it's not the childs place to tell their parents what to do! No matter how old you are, in my opinion and upbringing, you are still the child and the parent is the parent! If it is as you say and had been going on, so blatently in front of your father for so many years, then he already knew, he just hadn't had enough yet! And for whatever reason, he loved her and was putting up with it! It is up to him and only him to determine when he has had enough and will no longer allow it to happen!
Like I said, I don't want to be ugly, but I would not have done so! I may have confronted my mother, but not my father!

Answer 10

no dont think u were wrong to do that! seriously ...i should be more like you..my mom has cheated on every guy shes ever been w/ exept she finally met a great guy and shes already cheated..i think u have a lot of courage to do that! u saved ur dad u didnt hurt him. now he can have a better life so dont feel bad becouse u did the right thing!!!