Can you say that you have hit your husband before BECAUSE you knew that he would not press charges or hit you?

Question

I think FAR too many men are getting hit and DO NOT press charges or hit back BECAUSE....

1) HE WILL BE SEEN AS A WIFE BEATER AND A COWARD IF HE SO MUCH AS LIFTS A FINGER

2) WILL BE SEEN BY ALL AS A WIMP WHO GOT HIS AZZ KICKED BY A WOMAN

IT IS NOT OK FOR A MAN TO HIT A WOMAN AND I AM NOT CONDONING THAT..SO DON'T GO THERE THINKING THAT I AM - NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.

IT IS EQUALLY NOT OK FOR A WOMAN TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION AND TO HIT A MAN BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT HE CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!

INTERESTING THOUGH...SOME WOMEN DO HIT THEIR MEN BECAUSE OF THAT VERY FACT...THEY GET THAT JERRY SPRINGER CRAP IN THAT SKULL OF THEIRS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE IS CAUGHT DEFENDING HIMSELF AND CANNOT DO A THING-IF HE DOES...THEN IT IS THE MAN NOT THE WOMAN WHO GOES TO JAIL ON A MISDEMEANOR 3RD DEGREE ASSAULT CHARGE....VERY NICE...THIS IS THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN...

Answer 1

Yep, I have gotten mad and hit my hubby... Does on the arm count....J/K... No he wouldnt press charges.. And no he has never hit me...

On the other hand, my son was with a abusive girl whom they have a son together. My son has custody of him. His ex use to hit him all the time. She is only 5'4 and he is 6'1.
He had gotten so mad once that he grabbed a hold of her to keep her from hitting him (she used a bat).
And she ended up breaking her hand....
Well after a year of her abusive ways, my son filed charges got a restraining order, a child protection order and hired a Lawyer...
No he didnt look like a wimp... He was only doing what he could do... It was either that or beat the Crap out of her and YES he would have gone to jail..
When he pressed charges, she went to jail and was suppose to be there for 24 hours. Well she cried and cried while in jail and they ended up releasing her early. She looks like the girl next door, tiny and sweet type of person (though she is NOT). Where as my son, like I said is 6'1, yet nice looking and clean cut..

If there is a will there is a way. people see her for the kind of person she is... She jumps from one guy to the next every month. By the way she also has a daughter with another guy, he is raising her himself too.

Anyway I got what you meant.. But guys can fight back, just not with their fists.
~faith

Answer 2

Hmm. Well, you're saying he never hit you before you got married, so there were three years with no hitting? Because with an abusive person, that would be unusual. Why do men hit women? I know there's a mental health reason, but I can't remember what it is. But the common sense answer is that they want out of the relationship. He probably believes he loves you more than anyone in the world, and that may make him feel very insecure to the point at which he can't handle the relationship. Unfortunately, there's really not much you can do about that, as I understand it. I hate to say it, but the psychological wisdom is that you should leave. He is a danger to you and your baby. If you have a safe haven to go to, he can begin to communicate with you there. From a safe distance you can tell him how you feel and he can try to assess what is wrong. In some ways, it may be good that he never apologizes, because it seems very typical in abuse situations that the abuser goes through a sickening cycle of abusing and then trying to make up elaborately with gifts and being sweet only to eventually abuse again. This is not your fault, but abuse makes you feel as if it is your fault ... that is very typical. It appears that the police call really frightened him. Do you have some place to go? Go there! If not, I hope in your country you have an abuse hotline. You can call it and talk to someone and hopefully they will have a safe house for you to go to. They might also have an explanation for why he may have started hitting you, although they probably won't have any sympathy for it. I know this must be a really awful situation for you but tons of people go through it. I just hope you have an alternative to staying home, even if it means gathering up baby and walking somewhere far away that he can't find you and getting a place and a job somehow. Try a church or a convent if you can't find any other help if one is available. We are all pulling for you! God bless.