Okay, so I have a good friend, who is in a horrible marriage. He has two kids and for now a wife. Before anyone decides to think I am messing with him, I am not. I have a boyfriend, we are just good friends. He has talked to me about everything for the past 6 months. Telling me how miserable he is and how horribly his wife treats him. All they do is argue. I told him first to get counseling and he wouldn't go for that. So he decided next time he went back he was getting a divorce (he works out of town). So he went back, with divorce papers in hand. He got there and she pulled the super sweet crap on him all over again. (This is about the 7th time this has happened.) While he is away she yells at him constantly and fools around on him. I just don't understand why he keeps falling for her crap. I know there is nothin I can do except be a good friend, but my question is why does he keep going back to her after all the crap she puts him through?
2007-08-20 17:50:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so deco, how do I help him get over that....I sort of want to leave it alone, but he is one of my best friends and always has been and he is too good a guy to live that way. I hate seeing him treated badly, he is like my brother.
2007-08-20 18:00:32 · update #1
Graciela, I have heard the way she talks to him. She treats him like her slave. When their kids were born she had him doing all the work. I know new moms need help because I have a six month old, but she just left it all up to him. When he goes back, she kisses his butt till the day he leaves then she is back to her old self again
2007-08-20 18:03:28 · update #2
Jadey, I have heard her do it. I know he is not trying to get in my pants, we have been best friends for years and we are like brother and sister to each other. I am the person he knows he can talk honestly to. He doesn't let anyone else in his business. That is why he wouldn't agree to counseling. He has told her he wants a divorce and then she says fine, but when he goes back she tries to make him forget it all and acts like he never said it to her.
2007-08-20 18:08:40 · update #3
Human are sentimental creatures. No matter what hurt the other person has caused to them, as long as he/she loves the person, everything will disappear. However, things will resurface and same issues repeats itself. I guess, it ultimately boils down to your good friend - if he still loves his wife, no matter what she does, he will forgive her, even if for the 125th time, it will happen..
2007-08-20 17:59:33 · answer #1 · answered by watashi79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're only hearing one side of the story. The only two people who really know what's going on is him and his wife. Me and my husband argue when he's gone, but by the time he comes home it'a all resolved, we're just glad to see eachother again. You'll never really know the truth of what's going on and frankly you shouldn't get too involved. All you can do is be a good friend and listen when he needs someone to talk to.
2007-08-21 01:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by ~{Graciela}~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I have to ask
1stly Have you seen this abuse 1st hand?
2ndly Are you 100% positive that he isnt lying just to get in your pants?
3rdly Were you there when she "cheated" got pics ? video? statutory declarations from the men she allegedly cheated with?
NO? well there ya go , women/men lie to get what they want from who ever they need to for what ever reason so unless you've seen this 1st hand I'd take what he says , break it up and believe 10% why else would he say no to counciling.
If he is being treated badly as you claim then more fool him for staying .He keeps going back maybe because he's a very good liar when he's face to face with you or he's just to exhausted to move on .
2007-08-21 01:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You stay out of it. He will tire of all of this eventually or he won't. It is their marriage and he needs to either love it or leave it. Just tell him the next time he starts complaining about her, that you don't want to hear it. This is what you would have to say to your brother also. You can't tell another grown person how to run their lives. See, I just told you and you must make a decision to either listen to me, or not. I can't make you listen.
2007-08-21 01:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't you understand that YOU are number 2 ?they are married,marriages really suck some times,causing crap like this.they usually go back,that's his home,you are his clubhouse...........nothing you can do besides tell him how you feel one time,and then leave it alone.....he has a family
2007-08-21 01:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by sleepy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say stay out of it. you are way too involved. when he has fallen on his face enough, he will end it. in the mean time, just be there for him.
2007-08-21 01:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want the guilt of abandoning his family on his conscious.
2007-08-21 00:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weakness & low self-esteem!
2007-08-21 00:55:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Because he likes the drama. Apparently so do you or you wouldn't be listening to it.
2007-08-21 00:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
love?
2007-08-21 00:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by lucky_1179 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋