Do you believe marriage can last?

Question

I have been told I am very negative I just thought I was realistic, I always think of 'if we get divorced' scenarios. My parents are divorced and have been for a long time, I don't know many people who haven't been divorced. My husband is from a different cultural background and there is only one divorce in his huge family so he thinks I am being a total downer when I think that I can't predict how I will feel about him in 15 years. Do you believe in marriage????

But how do you know that just because you love somebody now that you will still feel that way so far into the future? Things change, unexpected things happen, I just see a lot of people fall out of love and just because we have been together for 4 years we may not love each other anymore when we are 40, how would I know?

Answer 1

Marriage starts out all lusty, with that "I can't stand to be away from/her"

Then you hit the stage where you are the best of friends, share everything and the sex is incredible but routine.

Later on it dawns on you that there isn't that "OMG there he is..sigh" sort of feeling. But a really comfortable feeling of knowing no matter what he will always be your best friend.

Still later you look at him and see this gray headed guy that isn't in the best of shape but you know you are his everything...that he would die to protect you and your
child(ren).

Then you wake up one day and see the man you fell in love with all over again.

Marriage is only 10% sex and lust... the rest is an ongoing partnership and you have to be flexible enough to see it through all the hard, tough and sad times so that the great times will be all the sweeter.

Answer 2

I used to believe in marriage. We are about to file though. I don't think one should marry if they just look at using divorce as an easy way out. If you can't commit, then don't do it. Too few people see it this way though. My wife being one of them. For 6 years it was good. Then she got the 7 year itch and scratched it. The last 3 have been a constant struggle and now she is quitting. I do believe a marriage can last but only when both involved have the same views on the subject.

Answer 3

Yes, I definitely believe in marriage. A lasting marriage.

I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but marriage is a sanction between 1 man and 1 woman and is a vow taken before God. He takes it very seriously and we should too.
The problem in many cases is that people marry for the wrong reasons and that society does not have the respect for the institution of marriage we once had. The folks in Hollywood are marry and divorce as if they were just changing a flat tire, and that practice is starting to leak into our minds about marriage. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. People also need to undestand that cohabitating decreases the sanctity of marriage. Even the research shows that spouses that cohabitate show less marital satisfaction than those that do not. I know people say you don't know a person until you live with them, but that's where quality, intimate time (with your clothes on) comes in. You have to be on the same mental plane and know how to discuss and talk. People are marrying for sex so after all the sexing gets old, they don't get along unless they're in the bed. The media also tell us that if we are 25 or 30 and not yet married that something is wrong with us, and that simply isn't true! There is not "age" where we must be married by. You marry when you have found someone that loves you and that you love.

Anyone will tell you that guys don't usually get a clue until their latter twenties, although women mature much faster. We must learn that we cannot be happy in a marriage until we are happy with ourselves. Women have to stop wanting their husbands to provide all their happiness.

Most of the people that I know that got divorced either married too young and wasn't prepared for marriage. It takes commitment, don't get me wrong. I am not married, but I know that it isn't easy. Just because your parents divorced doesn't mean you have to. You and your beau decide what will work for you. You marry if he loves you and you love him. Pray about it, seek marital counseling and when you are BOTH ready to spend the rest of your lives with one another, you will not regret it.

Answer 4

I do believe marriage can last ... now. I was young once, and I really didn't 'believe in marriage' then ... and my first marriages didn't last, for several different reasons. Then I made friends with, and became best friends of a man who told me that he 'wouldn't do it until he was with his one and only one woman for the rest of his life.' I was JEALOUS of her, which means when I realized that I was his 'one and only' I laughed so hard I fell out of bed ... I'd been jealous of myself. We've been married for nearly 11 years now (I'm 56, he'll be 50 in a few days) and we are 'together forever and beyond.' We've 'been through it all' ... I've had two heart attacks, he's had a stroke (he had one heart attack before we met, at 39), we've been homeless and lived on my 'Social Security Disability' ... we now have a 'huge debt' for those hospital bills we must pay off, but we have a 'good enough income' that we know we can do it in time ... and anything else that comes our way will just be 'more water under the bridge' to both of us ... we LOVE each other, we are still BEST FRIENDS, we are partners, lovers, and playmates.
So ... you may be 'thinking about divorce in your future' because you have a 'bad feeling' about your relationship ... and if your husband thinks you are a 'downer' he's not HELPING YOU to become more confident in your marriage. THAT is the 'most important' thing in a marriage ... I give my husband confidence, and he gives me confidence ... and we KNOW that 'we can do anything' as long as we are together.

Answer 5

Yes i believe in marriage and i believe it can last forever, my parents are proof of that, they have been married almost 30 years and are happier than ever....Having grown up watching fairytales and movies portraying a "forever after" scenario, countless of women have been conditioned to believe they'd meet a man who would sweep them off their feet and into such a setting. Reality, however, has a way of slapping the hope right out of us. Still, the question remains, can love last forever?

Elements of the fairytale experience can, and should, be a real part of a lasting, loving relationship. There's no reason that "forever afters" can't exist, and in fact, they should exist with the partner you call your spouse. True love is a decision of the will. It's a choice based on many factors, including that "in love" feeling you have for your spouse. Such a feeling can be built upon with tenderness, romantic gestures, and caring choices all along the way. Can love last forever? Yes, indeed it can. Real love is made up of more than just that wonderful feeling that makes your heart go pitter-patter when you first meet. We might call that stage of love infatuation. True love doesn't begin until two people really get to know each other and from there build a stronger connection, loving rapport, and a lasting commitment. Such a relationship takes work, understanding, compromises, flexibility, forgiveness, good communication and much more. Chemistry is a part of it as well, but even beyond chemistry and the physical attraction, a love that will last forever is based on a strong decision to stay together.

Staying together is a lifetime commitment, but just staying together is not good enough. For true love to last forever, it requires two people to remain open, honest, and to change and grow not just individually, but also as a couple. As changes take place, a successful couple manages to flow with the changes, and love each other through them all. So, can love last forever? Truly, there's no reason for love to ever end!

Answer 6

Love is not only a feeling - its a decision too.
Can marriage last? Yes, it can. I'm married 23 years and my parents have 51 years together and the in-laws have 56 years. Its not always easy and there are going to be times when you wonder if its worth the effort, and it takes committment from BOTH partners if its going to last. Both are going to make mistakes along the way, and unless its something the other cannot forgive, then you can work through those. But you can't hold a marriage together forever if the other doesn't have the same level of committent, that just doesn't work.
So you have to make a decision, are you in it for the long haul, through thick and thin, are you willing to work on it, communicate when things are not right, willing to forgive the mistakes (both yours and his) and MAKE it last? If not then the chances are the thing you fear - a divorce - may well be on the cards for you.

Answer 7

Hi..
Yes, I do believe marriage can last..And Yes..I also believe in marriage..If you're lucky enough to find the right mate or partner..
My parents were married 45 years..My dad died of emphysema, and my mother died exactly 6 months later of a broken heart.. I am an only child and had to bury both of my parents, when I was in my 30's
My parents respected each other..listened to each other when they spoke, and truly loved each other..
I'm divorced, after three kids, and 15 years into the marriage, I found out my husband liked guys.. Who knew?We're still friends though..Life is funny..I think someday I'll write a book..lol
Anyway..Yes, I do believe in marriage, and with the right partner..it can last a long, long time..
Take Care All..And enjoy the rest of your summer!

Answer 8

I sure hope so...I have been in mine for 18 years. Of course I have a very tough stance on divorce. I believe marriage is to easy to run out and do, I feel there should be some classes to be taught by people who have been able to figure it out for 25 plus years. I know there are several different religions you have to take a class. With my marriage that worked a little especially when it came to when to think about having children that was the best info...how long to wait... but I digress WOW if you really going into thinking you are gonna fail at anything, you run th risk of sabotaging it right off don't you ?

Answer 9

You cannot predict anything. The real thing about life, is to always take chances. Taking a chance(s) with love is really why we are here (in addition to spiritual reasons)
Coming from a broken home myself and a scandulous one at that gave me that attitude or fear as well. However still gave marriage a chance and a chance 2b loved and love back. It's been almost 15 yrs. for me. There's still love there, as well as stability and security. No it doesn't feel exactly the same as it did long ago. However everyone's relationships are different.
If it ever did end, I would have absolutely no regrets the way my life has been spent so far. But you can't rely on one person to fulfill your total being. you MUST MUST must have outside interests ALWAYS for self development, growth and just really living your life.

Answer 10

i totally believe in marriage. i also believe that you base your opinion on your experience with marriage and it seems like you haven't had good ones. i believe that marriage is a LOT of work and you can't just get married and that's it. i believe a lot of people give up on their relationship way too quickly, without putting any real effort into it. i believe that if you love this person and want to be with them, then you'll find a way to make it work. my parents have been married for 30 years and most of the people in my extended family have been married to the same person for decades as well. i believe that, with hard work and communication and a general love of being with that person, a marriage can last.