Wife of 18 years is corresponding daily with an Army dude in Iraq?

Question

She says she offering support but then ends her letters with "love and hugs".
I don't even get "love or hugs" Should I be pissed off?

I'm the affectionate one in the relationship and it irks me that she can give affection in any form to someone else and not me.
I'm physically fit, make good dough.
I think I'll just call O.J. Simpson. Maybe he can help.

Answer 1

yeah I would put a stop to this.love and hugs?hell yeah i would be pissed.

Answer 2

When did she start writing to this soldier? Did she even know this guy before he was deployed to Iraq or just met him online? I sure would be mad too, if my husband were to be writing to someone else and ending his letters like that and i don't exactly consider myself the jealous type kind of woman. Although it seems strange that she is writing to him and ending her correspondings like that, perhaps she is really doing what she is telling you, offering support to that soldier. You probably know her too well after eighteen years of marriage, and maybe you should trust her if she deserves to be trust. Eighteen years being married is a lot, and shouldn't end because of mistrust and miscommunication. Now a day marriages like yours are hard to find!Talk to your wife and tell her how you feel, maybe that will make things better. Well i wish you the best and hope that this problem resolves soon and you guys will live on together for many years more.

Answer 3

I would at least ask for love and hugs--if you want them. And do you give her love and hugs? I cannot evaluate what your wife is doing with her correspondent or what her motives are, but it sounds as though you are not entirely happy with your relationship with her. Why not work on making that more of what you want? So, no, I don't think getting pissed off is really the direction you want to go. If you want her to be more loving toward you, start by being more loving to her. It usually works. Give it time.

Answer 4

Congratulations Huxtable_Grimm for your long and
successful marriage up to now. I agree with Jimkme ~
Your wife loves you and she won't leave you because
she has a history with you that no Army dude can replace.
She is just supporting a friend she made, so please don't
be ticked off about it. You are and will always be her number
one. I've been married for 20 years this month, I'm still under 40 years old, and I do enjoy fun, harmless flirtatious
banter with other guys, but that's as far as it goes.
My husband takes presidence over all others.

Answer 5

You definitely have a reason to be angry and concerned.

Since this man is in Iraq, they obviously aren't having a physical affair. But it's just as dangerous to have an emotional one, ya know? Before you jump to any conclusions, please talk with her. Find out exactly what is going on. It is not too much for you to ask her to stop corresponding with this man if it is interfering with your marriage. But at the very least, you can tell her to stop writing "love and hugs" in the letters, because that is possibly leading this other man on.

Best wishes!

Answer 6

hmm, sounds to me like your wife may be flirting with other guys. It's okay to offer support and send letters and goodies to people that are helping out your country. But she doesn;t have to say Love and Hugs. I would simply ask her why she's giving them what she aught to be giving you. But don't jump the bullet just yet, I mean she never went out and slept with this guy. So she hasn't technically done anything wrong. But just mention it to her in a nonconfrontational way. Try doing it in a teasing way, like wrapping your arms around her waste and say "you know, it drives me insane when you tell these guys that you love em and all...just crazy..!" and nibble on her neck "your my girl, I'm not sharing with anyone!"

Just don't get into a fight over it! it's not worth the stress.

One of my better friends is in Iraq and he's coming home this sept. Since I keep in touch with him, a few of his army buddies in the same section/troop (i don't know exacly what it's called" have started to talk and keep in touch with me too. I've never told them Love and Hugs, although I do tell my friend I miss and luv him...but he's my friend and that's it.

Answer 7

Her Army man must have a reelinstment bonus coming up really quick. That is not as bad as the reverse. An Army man whose wife at home is having it with the next door neighbour eating cheescake in a pink champaine coloured water whirlpool bath. Since he was married to the tart for over 11 years, he has to give her half his retirement. Evil

Answer 8

No, first and foremost you have to communicate. If you fly off the handle you'll push her away. Explain to her how it bothers you that she is doing what she is doing. Tell her how you support her in her decision to support the troops but ending your letters in "love and hugs" can be interepreted by the reader in a different way. Spice up the relationship by surprise dinners and going out. Try to take her mind off the army guy in iraw and back on you.

Answer 9

I sure would tell her that you would like some of those hugs. Make sure you offer your share of lovin and huggin too. He's across the sea and I don't think you have anything to worry about. I did that for awhile. Made me feel good and made the dude feel like someone over here gave a darn what they were doing.

Answer 10

Uhm, love or hugs is just how some people sign letters. It doesn't mean she loves him. Of course, you'd have to be some bottom of the barrel scum for any woman to leave you for a soldier in Iraq. You know what I'm saying?

Answer 11

I can see why you would be hurt, but only you know your relationship well enough to know if you should be concerned or if that is just the way that she is.
If she lets you see the correspondence, I don't know that I would worry about the signature...
After 18 Years you should be able to talk to her about this.
( just celebrated our 17th this last saturday, you know that there should be a bond after all those years)