We have been best friends for 8 yrs. Through the years, my friend always like to pick fights with me and I was always the one piecing back together our friendship. And whenever she fights with me.. she ignores me. Our senior year, she decided to ignore me out of the blue. I asked her what was up but she refused to tell me. 2 months went by of ignoring, then one night us and some of our friends went out to a movie. The whole time she was acting like everything was ok between us. I didn't ask what was up with it, I just let it roll. She was paying close attention to me though. The next day at school I wondered if she would talk to me.. she didn't. She went back to ignoring me. I asked what was up and how it made me feel. She said that she was still here for me, misses me and loves me.. but she couldn't explain it to me then. I asked why and she said because there is a time and place for everything. She said to "let me come to you."
2007-08-20 15:17:24 · 19 answers · asked by Cali 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
kept asking why and told her to explain what was going on. She said she couldn't and to just let it go.. that I was ruining everything. After that convo, she would text me and say that she misses me and loves me, but she could never talk to me in person. Another 2 months went by and she finally "came to me" with a friendship book & she wrote in it that she was sorry for taking so much time away from us. That I brought her more happiness than she could ever explain. And that no one has had this big of an affect on her until someone pointed out that since we weren't friends, she didn't laugh or smile as much. So, I asked her why she did it & she said one that she was upset with me but the bigger reason was because she depended on me too much, AND that there were other reasons that I wouldn't understand and that she doesn't quite understand either. Ok, so what is the deal? Anyone know what the other reasons could be? It confuses me..
2007-08-20 15:17:38 · update #1
I agree with Christine, I think she likes you!
2007-08-20 15:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sha Sha 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she really values your friendship and the bond that you both have. She may feel codependent in your friendship and wonders if that's something friends should do...when they are FRIENDS. Her feelings for you may have crossed over into feelings of love, perhaps stronger than she has felt for any guy she's known. Sounds like she doesn't know how to process her own feelings, much less explain them to you. Let her know that no matter WHAT, she can come to you and she doesn't have to ever avoid you because you'll be there and hear her out without judgment.
2007-08-20 17:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...your loyalty is admirable, but this friendship seems a little one-sided to me. You are always offering friendship, and she is offering friendship only as the mood moves her. What if you really needed her on a day when your friendship was "off?" Your curiosity about what's going on with her is very generous, but I'm not sure it matters. A friend is someone who is there for you as much as you are for them.
And as much as you are being open to her explanations, she is not offering any to you. Whatever is going on with her, she is keeping it a secret from you. (Saying she "needed you too much" means she has a problem with intimacy, not with you in particular...I don't know, that doesn't sound like an explanation to me of why you would blow someone off.) Meanwhile, you're spending a lot of energy absorbing her drama.
I would recommend you spend your time investing in other friendships that are more stable. If she wants to get together and have fun, then you can just enjoy it - but I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment if you rely on someone like this too much. Good luck.
2007-08-20 16:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get the impression she may have family issues and may be associating them with you. Perhaps she feels you are a roll model of a sort and does not want to become wierd over it....who really knows?
If you did something wrong, I think she would have told you by now. Sit tight and let her deal!!!
2007-08-20 16:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could be way off base here, but i am going to guess that maybe she has "some feelings" for you that she doesn't know how to express. Have you ever had any hint from her that she might be unsure of her sexual identity? It can be real hard to have feelings you don't understand, especially if you never had any experience in this. Talk to her again, tell her she can talk to you about anything, and you really care.
Or maybe she is being abused and is ashamed or scared to tell.
2007-08-20 15:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this may seem a little wierd but i say this in all seriousness she may be wondering about her sexuallity as a female and if she is a lesbian or bisexual she may be wondering wether your friendship is based on that of sexual attraction or just friends
i know it sounds wierd but your teenage years are very difficult when you arnt sure how you want to live the rest of your life as far as sexuality is concerned
2007-08-20 15:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
God, it's no wonder women hold on to best friends a maximum of 1 year. You are vile to one another.
2007-08-20 17:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what the other reasons are. Be happy she is your friend. Friends love each other for everything they are including their short comings. She needed to know that she could be happy by herself and be ok with out you to hold her hand. There isn't anything wrong with that and you shouldn't question her for it.
2007-08-20 15:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by all 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ya---i have one of those as well... we have be BF for 40+ years and believe it or not she does the same thing
so...i have just decided to ignore her and let her come to me.
i do not need the grief she projects
good luck :)
2007-08-20 15:29:53 · answer #9 · answered by Blue October 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think I would keep being friends with this girl, she sounds to difficult and weird.
It could be just child's play or really serious. Just be careful. I dont think u or anyone else has time for games.
2007-08-20 15:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by trish 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
so i think itz cuz since u guys have been bffs for so longs mayb sumthin made her think "hey if i lost her(you) what wud i do" i mean she was probably afraid of hurting herself n fallin...ur probably a huge part in her life n if u were to go away she wud get hurt since u 2 probably bcame dependent on one another....shes scared of gettin hurt..im sure she doesnt want to hurt u but is afraid of hurtin herself....mayb she needs to go another way n wanted to c if she cud survive without u!!!!i mean frends drift apart n mayb shez afraid of that....u shud say all tha to her n say hey ill always b here for u n always have a spot 4 u in my heart...n tha we'll always b bffs n tha u r dependent on her n she shudnt b afraid...try n have a heart 2 heart with her....tell her shez like ur sister n she needs to tell u n tha u may understand n help her get thru it!!
2007-08-20 15:24:50 · answer #11 · answered by LALALALAL 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋