How can I give my partner what he wants?? He has asked me to give him time to get his head around our recent seperation. We are not living together at the moment. He says that he still loves me and that he IS comming home. But he just wants some space to sort his unresolved hurt out( I had told him I know longer loved him and wanted him to leave) He tried for months to get me to change my mind, he went out of his way to spoil me and loved me In everyway. But still I said no as I was just so confused. Well anyway, I realsied what he ment to me. I dont no where to start and feel so lost. I have that big lump in my throat and my minds all over the place. I feel so down, I Cry all the time and I text and ring him like a lunitic. I hate doing this but I cant seem to stop. I will get a strong moment where I think I can do it, but the most of gone without texting Is 5 hours. Its so horrible I feel like my mind Is going to explode. I trust him at his word, so how can I stop hounding him?
2007-08-20 14:54:05 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PLease, no horrible coments. I already feel terrible. I know what I did ( no cheating, just got tempararily confused) and yes, the old saying Is so true. You dont know what you have untill Its gone.
2007-08-20 14:55:43 · update #1
You say no cheating i don't believe that,you had someone on the side and just because you didn't have sex with that person doesn't mean you didn't cheat.There are different forms of cheating for instead you meeting someone and you have dinner and drinks or the grass is greener on the other side so now your boyfriend isn't good enough for you.Going out partying and drinking without your boyfriend knowing about it,these are all forms of cheating.I won't say anything mean because i know what kind of pain your in and i know just how hard it is to stay away from the one you love.When i was going through that with my husband i had to take it a minute at a time then an hour then two hours,to think about tomorrow without my husband was unbearable. When i would pick up the phone to call him,i would say to myself wait another minute then another then another until it got to late to call so i would go right to bed so i wouldn't think about it again until tomorrow. You have no chose here you have to go through it like millions before you,if you want him back you better stop because you are looking like a weak woman and men don't want anyone who is weak I'm sure you know that.Your heart is broke right now so your not thinking right. I know this is easier said then done but you need to get a hold on yourself and stop now before it's to late.
2007-08-20 22:10:26 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to occupy your time with something else. If you keep at him you will drive him away. Take the cell phone and lock it in the trunk of the car, or somewhere that it's a pain to get to. Time yourself and see how long you can go without contacting him. Go places like a museum, where you can't have a phone on you. Go shopping and leave the phone at home. Sure, its a mind trick but once you break the habit of texting him it will be easier to restrain yourself. Hope everything turns out for you.
2007-08-20 15:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
delete his number from your cell phone, turn it off or take out the battery. IF he comes back, it will be his choice. And you had better stop with the attention games. You need the time to figure out what the reason you were this way towards him for so long. Stomp on the cell phone b4 you send one more text. If you really love him, give him a couple of weeks. If he doesn't contact you, without you contacting him, then let it go and use it as a growing experience. You cannot toy with a persons feelings. As long as you are bugging him, you are just jabbing it in him more.
2007-08-20 15:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by Phyllis T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to face the sad truth that you may have lost him. You didn't realize what a good thing you had in spite of his best efforts to show you his love. Now you feel remorse. But sometimes rejection can be too big a pill to swallow. He may never get over it and may decide to move on. But if he still loves you, then he needs the space and time he is asking for, so leave him alone. If you don't, you risk making him actually hate you.
2007-08-20 14:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry abt that hun. it was a bad decision at the time, and i know how you feel about being crazy about texting and calling. but doesnt that hurt even more when he doesnt answer or text back??? dont set urself up for that...i think he knows how you feel and that you want him back. take time for yourself...go shopping and spend too much money (you can always take things back!) go out with the girls, and let ur mind rest for a few days...he is probably just as confused and wants time to think. this happened to me before, and if you just make urself pissed at him (even if it is fake pissed...for no real reason) just "hate" him for a few days, and it will make the time pass easier, and he will realize what he is missing and u will have time to collect ur thoughts. Good Luck
2007-08-20 15:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by lil_jade_81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea sometimes separation is good that way you can really see what a good spouse you have. I think you need to give him the space that is needed, you have to remember this was you decision. Now you have to accept the results of a decision like this. Give him time to heal the hurt he feels and I promise when you to get back together the marriage will be more successful. Good luck!
2007-08-20 15:20:05 · answer #6 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely how you feel. Sometimes it would just help to talk. Its hard when you're hurting and wanting to talk to the person and they ignore you or blow you off. That only makes it worse. We realize that calling and texting makes it worse but it is hard to stop becasue its a person you love and you feel like if oyu could just hear there voice, you would feel better. I have been on both sides. My girlfriend used to call and text me and drove me crazy. This would last for a day and we would talk and work things out. Now we're broke up and she won't talk with me at all.
2007-08-20 16:20:25 · answer #7 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give him space. If he said he was coming back just let him take a breather and be patient. Keep yourself busy with something in the meanwhile. Work... or something. Maybe get a hold of a friend that you truly trust and ask her to help you control the urge to contact him so much.
2007-08-20 15:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by Christy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm on the other side of this. My ex does this to me and trust me, honey. It doesn't work. It drove me farther and farther away. If you want him to come back to you, leave him alone. Give him time to miss you. Right now you're just a pest that keeps annoying him, so why would he want to go back to that? Show him that you're strong on your own. Confidence and independence are very attractive things to a man. Even if you're not strong, just act like you are. I promise, you'll be surprised at the difference. You may even start believing it yourself.
2007-08-20 15:13:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the original breakup was your idea, its only right that you give him the time he needs to get over the rejection. I know its hard to do, but the quicker you give him space, the better chance you have of getting him back. Focus on that and it should help you get thru the urges to tex him.
Good luck
2007-08-20 15:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by wingedladyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋