Im having this rocky relationship with a married guy. I did try to break it off with him but we keep on coming back to each other. Then last sunday i saw him in church with the wife and the three kids. We are both Catholics and man, I felt like God was indeed saying something to me. I am deeply hurt and ashamed of what I've done. I am trying to avoid him now. He told me not to think about it too much and just brush it off. I can't. I am so in-love with him but afte seeing his family and how he smiled when he looked at his wife, I felt so wrong for thinking that that smile belonged to me. I've been a fool. I am hurting and mad. Sometimes I almost dont believe it anymore when he tells me he loves me. He doesn't. I don't want to talk to him anymore to break it off. Im thinkin more of just disappearing. Stop talking to him, stop texting, stop emailing... you think this is better? Im afraid taht if I see him I might end up in his arms again. I feel so worthless.
2007-08-20 14:18:28 · 13 answers · asked by Stefani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's really easy to fall back into a pattern, especially if it's just sexual, dating, not the day in and day out ups and downs of marriage. It's like this: You are the Bahamas Resort he can escape to when his life feels over or underwhelming.
From what you've said, he loves his wife and his family, otherwise, he would have been with you already. You feel betrayed, that's human, you fell in love with a married man, that was a risk that you eventually lost.
In time, it won't hurt so much, maybe even disappear completely, when you fall in love and marry someone available to you. In the meantime, I would find another church to go to. I know that heavy Catholic heart and you can't be feeling good about yourself right now.
You're not worthless, you're human, forgive yourself and move on.
2007-08-20 14:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not worthless. However, you were involved with a married man. You don't mention if you knew this going in, but it's over. He's never going to leave his wife and you need to pick up the pieces and move on. That means cutting him off completely and moving on. You were in love with an illusion, my dear. You got reality slapped in your face when you saw him smiling all family together like with his wife and kids. He lied to you and you were lying to yourself and wiling to believe his horseshhh.
Do yourself a favor, completely cut ties with the fool. He uses the word "love" and doesn't know a d--mn thing what REAL love is. You deserve much better than the scraps he's giving. Move on and don't look back no matter how much he cries and screams. You deserve better. Find a good licensed therapist to help you work through your loss and pain. Good luck.
2007-08-26 19:32:22 · answer #2 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
poor lady, you see it with your own eyes and yet you're still blind? Yes, God is telling you something, right there in church in plain view. You should feel ashamed of yourself to get involve with a married man.
How could he be feeling you ask... "He told me (you) not to think about it too much and just brush it off". In his own words he just told you how he felt, he feel damn good about it and he want you to feel the same. Question, what's the different between you sleeping with a married man and a boyfriend cheating on his girlfriend?
Lady, those smiles, laughs and how he hold his wife is not yours, so stop thinking they belong to you. If you want that to be yours, then you need to find yourself a boyfriend get to know him and get married. Then you can have those smiles, laughs, and be held the same way. He is not going to leave his wife and kids for you, so when he said that he love you only to keep at his becking call. Why are you allowing yourself being used like that, please tell me? That is not love, its his fansty to have two women to heighten his ego. Can you walk around with your head up high when people calling you a home breaker? Would you want this happen to you? There is an old saying; whats goes around come around. now think about it, please.
The best think for you to do to tell him is over and you going to find your own man. Change your email account, your phone number (cell or home phone) and move on. If you fail to walk away from him. Your moral values are truly worthless.
2007-08-20 22:24:00 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you thinking when you became involved with a married man with children? Just how would you feel if you were in his wife's place? I can't believe that you can see this as anything other than very deep sin. You need to ask the Lord for forgiveness and confess your sins. It is just impossible that you consider having any contact with him at all. I would suggest that it would be a good idea for you to go to services at a different Catholic Church.
2007-08-28 12:56:03 · answer #4 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Helloooo - why are you even going to the same church. There are plenty of ways to continue pretending that this guy doesn't love his wife and kids.
If you weren't 'putting out' to this guy, would he even bother to talk to you?
There's a little thing called 'free, uncommitted, secret, prohibited' nookie involved - but you have given it an 'oh, so romantic!' spin. What?
I know I'm right about this. You tell him you love him to death but you're not going to be his free sex on the side. You can word it another way: you want to simply be friends and no more than casual good friends.
Then let him live that. You live it too and get out and date real guys. Not pretend guys who live a real life with a wife and kids and 'romance' that involves sex.
I predict that you could put a calendar on your refrigerator. Mark the day you last 'put out' for this guy. Then no bee-jays or other sexual contact. Mark the days he tries to contact you. Fairly soon, there will be no marks on your calendar. No sex and no contact.
Oh, yes, give yourself great big hearts and flowers on the calendar whenever you have a date with a real guy ('real' meaning someone who's not cheating on another person).
2007-08-26 11:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got one thing right my friend, you are a fool. And began the role when you make the choice to get involved with a married man. Sorry but everything you are feeling right now serves you right. If a man truly loved you he would never put you in the position of being the other woman. Break it off with him (COLD TURKEY) as soon as possible and go to therapy to figure out why you would disrespect yourself and another woman by sleeping with her husband!!!!!
2007-08-20 21:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now this guy thinks he has got it made. Please have respect for yourself and end this. You are entitled to have someone love you and you alone. I know it will hurt but let him go. And ask yourself this question could you live with yourself if his marriage broke up? What about his children? He is a slime!!! If he would do that to his wife what makes you so sure he wouldn't do that to you if you two got together? You couldn't shouldn't and can't trust him. He doesn't believe in love. Good Luck You will be in my prayers
2007-08-27 22:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all he may be great and all but u have to be resonable. u sound like a really nice person but telling me that u r with knowing that he is married and has children u should stop the relationship and move on
2007-08-28 20:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is using you if you gave him a time to get divorced he would not. he doens't think you would have the guts to leave and follow him hes player. you need to stop and think which you hve done now leave this situation alone his wife has not clue i assure you
2007-08-25 00:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from the man. How would you feel if it was the other way around and your husband was cheating on you. It would not feel so good would it.
2007-08-27 17:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by cl_burns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋