when you don't like somebody or see them as repulsive or whatever and look at them like you don't like them, they like you more, and kind of "suck up" to you in some instances. but when you actually are nice to a person and treat them like a human being they sometimes feel more powerful than you and start not to like you for liking them.
get it? do you think it's true?
2007-08-20 14:17:50 · 13 answers · asked by AngeSurTerre ♥ 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
"don't be so stuck up" WTF? how am i being stuck up?
idiot.
2007-08-20 14:37:54 · update #1
You've got it backwards. It's their submissive obsession that repulses you not the repulsion that attracts them. You are imediately put off by them but they are completely unaware of how they have struck you wrong and increase their efforts seeking to obtain positive feedback from you but instead their increased efforts make you feel cornered repulsed all the more.
I understand what your trying to describe when you are talking about the feel more powerful. You are describing clique dynamics where there has to be a ranking and "in" and "out" people for the clique to survive and have "power". So there is instinctive jostling going on and in this competition people are not attempting true friendship but to win "influence". Once won they have lost respect. The mystique is gone and that person now a stepping stone.
In general it's best to avoid cliques. Simple fact is they are cannibalistic when it comes to social dynamics. There always has to be a ready sacrifice and sooner or later no matter what your status you are on the menu. People in cliques generally are insecure. The constant battle for survival creates insecurities and even outright paranoia. Geniune friendship is difficult to generate as one day instinctively each knows they will devour the other when they fall.
2007-08-20 15:51:26 · answer #1 · answered by draciron 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry that I really don't 'get it', yet I felt compelled to say something anyway. The way your question's presented it appears to be directed at someone specifically rather than toward a group. Sounds like the soul it's directed towards hasn't 'gotten it' yet... and probably won't. The problem I see, isn't your content... it just sounds like you need to get a fairly close male friend to reword it so he "gets it". Men and women don't always explain things to each other well, not because they don't know what they mean... but simply because we think differently, and subsequently, word things in the wrong way. If you want something distasteful over, especially if some 'jerkhole' doesn't 'get your drift' and just can't seem to figure out that you just are filled with disdain at his disbelief that you think he's acting like a 'screwball egotist kook' and that your being polite to keep the peace in 'effing PUBLIC... well maybye he 'gets it' now. Yes I do belive I'm slowly understanding. But I gotta stop right now, and look at the other answerers advice. If I'm off on this one... I'll know, and rewrite this one or add on to it. Hmmmmm. Here Goes...Okay I'm back, and I'm not sure if I'm right or not. But I'm going to put it up for a couple of days and maybye find out. Best of luck!
2007-08-27 06:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's what happens with me; if someone doesn't like me, I 'kill 'em with kindness'. I don't really 'suck' up, but I act like this I guess to show them it doesn't bother me; but it must because I do this, right? A person has to realize that not everyone can like you, and you can't like everybody. And in the second instance; yes, I've had people treat me like that! Their superiority issue is a true turn-off for friendship.
2007-08-20 14:30:50 · answer #3 · answered by dawnUSA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in some instances it is true . i think its because when you don't show interest they think you are better then them and want to join in but when you are polite the person then thinks you wish to be like them or with them and then they act as if they have something you want and you have to work 4 it
2007-08-25 16:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, because of ego. they think they are more superior, and those suck up are inferior thinking they are not good enough. thus the cycle goes...
usually people take people niceness for granted.. simple.
When people lack wisdom, they act this way. But try to learn not to dislike people when they are nice. Karma. u get it some day.
2007-08-20 17:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by wishingforpeace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sooo right! I try to keep a smile on my face even when I don't feel like it and am nice to people even when I feel like telling them to go to hell. As a result I get no respect.
2007-08-27 12:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by alreadyenuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i gotchu sista. it's true with some people that you meet.
but you just gotta act the same way you do to that person like you would to anyone else
2007-08-20 15:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its very true. I once dated a woman like this when I was young and stupid.....but i dumped her a day later:)
2007-08-20 14:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by stallion 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that "may" be true when you're young and dating, or when you have a crush or something, but once you begin to mature it is no longer true.
2007-08-27 18:49:42 · answer #9 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its the truth cause my ex was like that and it was sweet but annoying at the same time
2007-08-20 14:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋