Soft-spoken: Self perception of volume vs. other people's perception?

Question

I'm soft-spoken, and many people have commented on it and the fact that I talk quietly. Some say they could never picture me raising my voice or ever yelling, that I would never hurt a fly. How come when I talk normally, my volume sounds fine to me? What are the distinctions of someone who is soft-spoken and how come I don't recognize it in myself? Is it in the eye of the beholder?

Answer 1

It is in the "eye of the beholder" and it also depends what they consider "normal" Don't sell yourself short though by the fact other people say you are quietl spoken. This may display you as a person who is confident in yourself, and you don't need to raise your voice all the time to get your point across. Another benefit is that when you do raise your voice, people will listen as they see it "out of character" and take you more seriously. One who can remain calm and have a quiet voice is perceived as one who is in control of their life and their emotions.

Answer 2

If it bothers you, there are things you can do that may help.

When you're home alone, practice standing in front of a mirror and read loudly from a book. Use facial expressions, ad lib, add humor, be funny, be noisy! Have fun with this.

Also, you can practice being louder around strangers. Be more assertive (kindly, of course) with sales clerks. Get used to your voice being different. Be noticeable.

You might want to join Toastmaster's. Look at several different locations until you find a group you like. This is a fantastic way to grow 'a louder voice'. It is hard work, scary, but is it ever growth oriented. This alone, will change the quality of your voice/presentation.

Being soft spoken is great, but it can be taken as lack of confidence, etc. Besides, you have things to say and need to be heard! :)

Answer 3

If everyone says you're soft-spoken, I would treat this as an objective opinion and, when the situation calls for it, you should try to raise your volume even though to you it seems as though you're speaking loudly.