My 19 year old brother just came out to me in April of this year. We come from a pretty conservative family that doesn't support the LGBT community, so it was a big step for him to come out to me (I do not share the same feelings as our family). He has not come out to anyone else (family or friends). This summer he went home to live with our mother and I was away studying abroad. When I returned he told me that he started having feelings a girl he works with, and now he doesn't know if he is gay. He said that when he came out to me he was sure he was gay, now he is back to not knowing. He has never been in a relationship - man or woman - because he is afraid of hurting the persons feelings. He has also told me that he is physically attracted to men, and emotionally attracted to women. My question is, are his feelings typical? Do you think he is gay or straight? Any advice to help him figure out what he's going through?
2007-08-20 13:11:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Since when is it okay to act on just any old feeling you have? If you felt like stealing your friend's money, would that mean it would be okay to act on it?
2007-08-20 14:25:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand his emotional attraction to women. Anyone with a good heart is someone to whom you can be emotionally attracted. But if the physical attraction is to men, then the probable reason why he doesn't feel an emotional attraction is twofold: 1) Coming from a conservative family, he still has residual guilt over even thinking of that type of relationship and 2) Gay men and women seem to share a bond that is probably based at least in part on the mutual attraction to men, and also because of the lack of the predatory relationship that ordinarily exists under the surface between a straight man and a woman.
He's questioning his sexuality because he doesn't quite understand it and hasn't dealt with his prior indoctrination. Your description of him is extremely typical of a young gay male raised under those circumstances.
But ultimately, he'll have to figure it out on his own.
2007-08-21 03:15:26 · answer #2 · answered by Clint 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is sexually attracted to men. then he is gay. being attracted to a girl emotionally is not the same as being attracted to her sexually. if he IS attracted to her sexually, the he is most likely bisexual...which can be the source of his confusion.
most likely, he is gay. thats what i think. he probably just feels for women and their problems whic could be the reason why so many straight women have gay guy friends. they are just so much more in tune with women and their feelings.
anyways, good luck to u and him and help him out when he's ready to come out to the rest of the family...that's most likely going to be the hardest thing he will have to do in his life.
2007-08-20 13:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by biotechman1135 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm in the exact same situation as your brother! Well, I consider myself bisexual. I think that if a guy feels attraction to men, then he can't really be considered straight. So I guess he's bisexual.
You can't really help him figure out. Just let him go through this journey on his own and be there to support whatever he chooses. The less stress he feels, the easier it'll be for him to figure it out.
2007-08-20 13:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rushing into any relationship, male or female, while he's still confused is a bad idea. What he needs is to get involved in the gay community in your area, meet others like him. He needs a support system more than anything else.
2007-08-20 13:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by lilykdesign 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be too easy to just say he's bisexual and move along.
19 is very young and not all people are totally clear about their sexual orientation at that age. I know I wasn't, and continued to date and have sex with women well into my 20's.
So to advice - don't worry about it for now. And don't be too overly concerned with hurting other people's feelings. It's all part of growing up. And as to your sexual identity crisis - all I can say as someone who has definitely been there is....
You'll know when you know.
2007-08-20 13:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Humans are sexual beings. There is no need to label anyone and no need to follow what you consider a label means. Your brother should explore his sexuality free of guilt or constraints of what he thinks he might be. If he is attracted to women, fine. If he is attracted to men, also fine. He doesn't need a label.
Encourage him to go out with women and men, try everything, he will sort himself out eventually and if he likes both, no problems.
2007-08-20 13:21:41 · answer #7 · answered by tentofield 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're way too youthful to be that serious with all and sundry. you should only date different human beings till you're like 22 or around there. in case you get heavily in contact the only ingredient I see on your destiny is yet another teen being pregnant statistic
2016-10-08 22:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by mcmahill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats hard cuz i am the same way too..emotionally to women, sexually to men...it makes things difficult...only suggestion is not to get into a relationship until he's sure
2007-08-20 13:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by Joey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could have not have been gay in the first place. he could have hastily came out because he thought he was sure of his homosexuality, but actually never was. Or he could just be Bisexual. But seriously, label jars not people.
2007-08-20 13:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by ҡʏʟɛ - ❄ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋