married living in horrid conditions I have to leave husband wont go?

Question

our upstairs tenants just torture us, right now I'm watching the chandler swing. i talked to my husband about moving in with my mother (who is never there and doesn't ever bother us) until we can afford to move to a better place, he wont go; I honestly think I'm going to die from a heart attack living here. I cry everyday and he hates it too but won't leave; should I move out? I don't know what to do anymore please help me

landlord and police won't help us only makes these freaks worse

okay no one wants to move back in with their parents but we cant afford another 4 grand to move at the moment; I dont want to do it either but when your not sleeping EVER and getting sick all the time something's gotta give and all you mother f*ckers who say stop complaining you'll get yours and be posting on here one day and I'll laugh in your faces

thanks guys for the input, some really great ideas out there; btw no kids or we would have been gone after the first week. Appreciate the answers

Answer 1

I've been there, so I know what you are talking about. And your right, calling the landlord and police is just going to keep inciting them. I like your plan to go to your mother's house. Why should these animals, uh, people, ruin your lives like this day after day?? I'd pack and go to mom's, you need to have some peace and security. If hubby wants to tough it out, let him...because I have a feeling that in a few nights of being left alone with those nuts, he will be running over to join you. Also, one person suggested going to mom's for a whole weekend and letting him experience how great it is over there. That was a good idea too. Also, make sure you take all your valuables, I wouldn't trust them for 3 seconds.

Answer 2

If those animals that you call neighbors are really that bad then it's in your best interests to pack up and leave. You better believe that if go, and leave dear stubborn husband behind, it will just be a matter of time before he joins you. It's not like you're throwing him out but rather it's come down to choosing to have a normal existence and preserving your sanity. So wait not another minute and get yourself going. Once you two are set up at your mom's place, he'll wonder what he was ever thinking and why he didn't make the smart choice sooner. Like you say, it's not a permanent arrangement and you'll both have a peaceful life too.

Answer 3

First you have to sit down with your husband and discuss the problem in a civil way and both come up with in each of your opinions why you should or should not move to another apartment. But under no circumstance should you move out unless your husband is cheating on or abusing you. An apartment is no reason to risk separation.
Also if the tenant upstairs is making a racket you have the option of calling the landlord and or the police.

Answer 4

If your landlord refuses to do anything about it, force the issue!
Stop paying the rent and put the money into an escrow account, he will very shortly file eviction proceedings and when you get into the court room you will have an opportunity to tell the judge of your landlords failure to provide you with an apartment with conditions that every renter should expect to have! If you have exhausted every avenue to get your landlord to deal with this problem, and the judge will test you on this, he will award in your favor! He will force the landlord to rectify the situation and may even award you punitive damages!
It may also help if you could get statements from other tenants who are also victimized by your neighbors and landlord.
Once everything has been rectified, you take the money out of escrow and pay the rent.
I am curious, has your husband actually went and talked to these rowdy neighbors?

Answer 5

Look for another place.....and convience your hubby that moving back in with your parents maybe a good thing until you can find a new place. You are paying rent also...the fac that the landlord nor the police will do anything is a little odd. Look up your state Real Estate Laws under Rental/Landlord section. This most likely violates your "right to a peaceful residence".

Answer 6

Maybe your husband does not want to lose his Independence by moving in with your mother. The solution is very simple. You and him need to find a new place together (just the 2 of you). If you gave your landlord your last months rent, tell him to use it and take that money and put it towards a new place. People will work with you. Or, grin and bear it and realize that it is better than living on the streets.

Answer 7

You live in an apartment - that is what it is like - you are in a cube and you have people around you...for you to cry over it is truly just being a bit dramatic.

Moving in with your mother shouldn't be an option - you are a married woman, you don't go running home anymore.

You ride out your lease, then you move. The next place, you do your research about the noise factor.

Answer 8

Well I can see why your husband does not want to move in with your mom. Cause then he loses the feeling of being on your own, and it is not fair to ask him that question. But if I were in that situation I would bite the bullet and take your mother up on the proposition to move in. But if he does not want to move then I would say to make yourself happy and keep yourself sain I would tell your husband. 'Honey I love you very much but I can not live like this you have X amount of days to get me out of this or I will leave without you.' X means a predetermine amount of days which I am sure you figured out. This is what my wife told me when we were in a similar situation. And yes I got her out of the situation by letting her leave till my job did not need me anymore and then I followed. which was 3 weeks. But she was happy and I was happy too when I had moved to my mother in laws too cause then we could save more money for a new place.

Answer 9

AT one time I lived at a bad apartment complex. Several situations.
1. If you are scared for you or your husbands life call the cops and get out.
2. If you have a Lease , do not break it. You will have to go to court and state your case. I ended up paying!
3. Document everything going on, in case you do break you lease.
4. I would say you are married, and you and your husband need to work this out together. Make him understand why you must leave, and what might happen if you stay!

BEST OF LUCK!!!

Answer 10

If he is not willing to compromise with you on this, then yes, I would leave. If he sees that you are that serious about it, maybe he will reconsider. Maybe before you do this, tell him that if he doesnt move, then you are moving alone bc you cannot take those living conditions any longer. It is better that you keep your health instead of staying there and risk having health issues due to stress. If you havent talked to the ones upstairs, maybe you should consider it. If it keeps up, keep calling the cops over there. Eventually they will get sick of it and either stop or move.