my wife has been seeing my "best friend" behind my back. how do i stop them without going to prison?
2007-08-20 11:42:15 · 19 answers · asked by Paul B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First you must confront her with your knowledge. Then, if you wish to salvage your marriage, find out what she felt she was lacking in you that she is finding in this man. (Some best friend, huh?)
People go into extramarital affairs, many times because they think they would never do such a thing; they don't know how to handle it when they feel a physical attraction to someone else. It is at those times that a spouse should turn toward their mate and be able to talk to them about their feelings; not go head on into an affair. Everyone, at one time or another, has felt an attraction to someone; most do not react on it and when they do ... here comes the lack of trust.
Up to you - if you feel she does love you and you her; worth talking. Do not blame, judge, condemn and all; that will do nothing at the present time but make her defensive. Do let her know that the only way you and she can make it is if she has absolutely no contact with this man ever again. Then you can start to heal and rebuild. Yes, you will be angry and she needs to be willing to hear your words and stand by you.
If you can't handle forgiveness or she doesn't want to be with you anymore, then there is no way to get her back. Good luck
2007-08-20 12:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,... i know you are hurt by both your wife and your friend,... and you should be.
But remember the saying,... happiness is the best revenge?
Well,... its true.
Dont give them the satisfaction of knowing that you are as hurt as you are.
You have the right,... and SHOULD confront them both,... maybe at the same time,...but make sure you have proof.
Then be calm,... and let them know that they no longer have the right to any part of your life,... and that you are hurt,... but disappointed and even disgusted that they could betray you in such a horrible way, but that you are glad that you can now see what trash they are,... and you have a reason to make your life better than it ever has been,... and you appriciate it if they will stay away from you.
Believe me,... they are enjoying the game,... and even if they do end up together,... it will not last.
When your wife sees that she will be missing out on the best part of you,... and you are going to be fine without her,... it will bother her the most.
And your friend will feel like the jerk he is.
Good luck to you
2007-08-20 13:06:54 · answer #2 · answered by solo_yo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short of actions that WILL send you to prison, you can't stop them. You can only control your response to them (which in my opinion would be a big fat "adios"). But let's say you could stop them, then what? Do you still want your wife? (particularly if there are children involved?). Do you still want your best friend? You'll never be able to trust either one of them again without Divine intervention. Have you confronted either one or both of them? If so, are they even sorry? That could make a difference for some people deciding whether to stay or not. It wouldn't for me- again, I'd just say "adios", especially if there aren't kids involved.
2007-08-20 11:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by Heather K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in order for someone to cheat, the person has to be there, so plan for a vacation with your wife out of town. That way you two can make things work again.
2007-08-20 12:32:00 · answer #4 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you know and tell her how it makes you feel - cry if you have to...if you want to keep this marriage there is a reason she has gone to him and not to you. Never share your marriage with anyone else because once you go outside of the marriage you seldom return...Get good counseling for yourself first then if the marriage is still wanted by both parties...sit down and hash it out with a referee....
2007-08-20 11:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by singlegreenjeff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea you can never stop anyone from cheating, they have to have enough love and respect to stop on their own. I mean it seems she has another interest at heart, so I will talk to her and let her know that she is cheating and see were it goes from their. Good luck!
2007-08-20 12:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get tangible proof and then present the divorce papers to her in that order only. Next time choose your friends more carefully and don't let them get too personal with your loved ones.
2007-08-20 12:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by frank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you stop a cheating wife by divorcing her then shes not your wife and shes someone else problem find someone who will treat you better and get better friends. sorry man and good luck
2007-08-20 11:56:45 · answer #8 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get a divorce.
There's no way to stop someone's behavior. The person with the behavior problem has to want to change.
I say once a cheater, always a cheater.
Cut your losses...and move on.
2007-08-20 11:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sumie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either sh*t or get off the pot. By that I mean either accept a wife who plays around, or get rid of her. (not in the prison sense)
2007-08-20 11:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by K M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋