ok about two wks ago I had a girl come up to me and tell me alot of horriable things he denies it and she swears to it I have a torn heart what to do who to believe and what to do i have been married six yrs and have 2 kids and I am only 21. I just cant seem to shake it off like before what should I do I dont want to have any regrets I am so confused please help me figure it out. As of right now I am trying to hold on to my marriage. But I cant trust him anymore. Should I still be holding on should I still be fighting for something I think he only wants out of convience. If he really loved us he wouldnt have done this right he wouldnt have risked it all. PLEASE HELP I AM CONFUSED!!!!!!
2007-08-20 11:26:15 · 15 answers · asked by letty_alfonso 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this is the only thing that has happened, just forget it. If not, here are some things to watch out for:
1) He won't let you see or use his cell phone,
2) He pays the cell bill and won't let you see it.
3) He won't let you see the charge card statements,
4) He works late often,
5) He is indifferent to you.
6) He has joined a gym and is working out.
7) He has interest in new trendy clothes.
8) He doesn't want to spend any time with you and the kids.
9) He has new friends.
10) If you accuse him of cheating, he will turn it back on you and say you are the one cheating. #10 is the 100% answer.
If you find there are some of these he's doing, go see a divorce lawyer tomorrow and find out your rights. He may want his freedom. Then you will have the two kids to raise alone. It's sad but it may be true. Don't wait around to be walked all over. Go get the facts and then tell him what YOU are going to do.
2007-08-20 11:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by Julie H 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you already can not "trust" him you had problems prior to this incident. Marriages should not be built on "trust" it is too concrete. Instead build it on confidence in the other person. If you say you will do laundry and do not trust is broken. Don't go on the word of a random person, there are a lot of miserable people out there and misery loves company. Do you have reason to be suspicious of your husband otherwise? Even if he did stray many many marriages survive infedelity. Uncondition love is a beautiful thing. Tell your husband he can tell you anything. Be honest with him about your feelings. If you really want to push it have him call this woman and deny it while you listen on the other line!
2007-08-20 11:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by Wonderingman 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off every man has his week moments, but come one…twice! From the sound of your question you already know what to do, I just think your afraid to and rightfully so, because it’s a time of uncertainty. It sounds like to me that your husband wants his cake and to eat it too and it’s at the expense you and your children’s emotions. Your husband seems to have no regard about what he’s doing to his family, so why let him continue? I’m sure your kid’s know that something’s not right and mom is a mess. So, for both you and your children you need get out of what you’re living in, which is a love triangle and not a marriage. Good luck and best wishes!
2007-08-20 11:37:23 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Letty you have a serious challenge on your hands. First of all ask your gut if your gut says yes he is cheating then you will have to do one of two things.
If you do nothing after this you guys are going to fight like cats & dogs plus the trust issue in play.this will cause many fights trust me. Your life will not be peaceful it will eat at you and it will affect your marriage And worse if he denies it not much better if he confesses.
1. Pack your bags and leave not because you want to teach him a lesson it's because you want to save your dignity and have peace.
2. Stay and work it out with the help of a marriage counselor
this is not something he can fix with an I'm sorry and flowers.
Good luck God speed
2007-08-20 11:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Without more details to go on, I can only suggest that you will have to be intelligent in the matter. Who is more reliable, hubby or the girl? WHO is the girl? Does she have anything to gain by telling you what she did or is she being revengeful? And are the things she told you way off base and make no sense? Or do they seem to fit? If she gave you any information that you could verify in some way...then see if it checks out. Otherwise, you will have to go on how reliable this person might be.
2007-08-20 11:36:25 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is this girl? Why are you taking her word at face value? Is he giving you reason to be suspicous? Also you said 'like before', has he done this type of thing before?
I'd get some evidence before I made a decision of any type and if he is lying, show him the evidence. Then come back here and ask some more questions.
2007-08-20 12:39:40 · answer #6 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most of the time we already know if our spouse is cheating, we just want some one to answer the question for us, so what do you believe, do you think he cheated. I am sure either way every thing will work out just fine, and if he did cheat, don't worry, what comes around goes around, youl'l see.
2007-08-20 12:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mc Fly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My philosophy is until you have proof you have no way of knowing for sure one way or the other.
If he has been acting different or things have changed, then I would advise you and he both to go to counseling and see if the marriage can really be saved.
2007-08-20 11:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider separating and/or getting some counseling...you were a child bride and now there are 2 kids depending on you to provide a good life for them. Protect yourself and your kids....get help NOW. County social services can help.
2007-08-20 11:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this girl wants your husband. Believe your spouse before jumping on some other bimbos word.
2007-08-20 11:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by K M 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋