Should I marry a great man I've only known 4 months?

Question

I met "John" 4 months ago. We are both mature for our 23 years of age. We immediately fell for one another and realized that we both fulfill everything we've been looking for in a partner. He proposed and I happily said yes. Now that a date has been set and the wedding plans official, I'm recieving feedback from friends and family who question if 4 months is long enough to make this type of commitment. I feel that, although I may not know his every side, I know him enough believe we are extremely compatible. Any challenge we come against in our relationship will not change the way I feel about him. Yet, I still wonder: are we moving too fast?

Answer 1

I think its totally up to the two of you.

I met my husband online in April of 01. He came to meet me in person in Nov of 01. We got engaged the 2nd day of his trip. We married in Jan of 02.

I was 18, he was 21. In January we celebrate our 6th anniversary and i wouldnt trade it for anything.

If you are ready go for it, it can work out, it can last. Only you as a couple can make the decision.


(by the way for those that will assume. I wasnt pregnant, wasnt running away from home, or anything else like that. I was just happy, in love, and we both were ready to be married to each other)

Answer 2

Well, maybe, maybe not!
My parents only dated for 3mo, engaged for 6 weeks, and have been married for 34 years (And no, she wasn't pregnant when they married either) So moving fast can work. Oh, and they were 25/26.
You are a little young, but you sound like you know what you want.
If I were you I would have a long engagement. MAybe not years and years, but some more time to make sure, I mean REALLY make sure that he is the one. Marriage is a huge step in anyone's life. I mean, my husband and I started dating when we were 15 and weren't married till we were 26. That had a lot to do with school and stuff, but I am so glad that we waited. I mean, we both had other relationships during our "off times" of the relationship, and we both know what else is out there, and that the grass is certainly not greener on the other side. That being said, and has long as we ahve been together, being married is still tough sometimes. But it is also the most wonderful feeling in the world to know that you are loved that much that this person picked you to spend the rest of their life with!!

Just really think things through. Go to premarital counseling if offered at your church or wherever. It really does help you think about things y'all may not have already thought about.

Then make the decision. And if you both feel that this is right, then go for it. Just go for it full force and with total commitment, and don't worry what anyone else thinks/says

Answer 3

If you were mature, then you would already know how stupid marrying someone you don't even know is! You're very immature if your 23 years old. You don't know what love is so you obviously don't know what marriage is.

Before you get married, you should know and love each other inside and out, mentally, emotionally and physically for at least 3-5 years. What the hell is your rush. Why can't you just love to get to know and just enjoy each other without worrying or wondering about moving too fast.

You cannot say you love each other, because you do not know. You don't know if you love someone in 4 months. Of course you love how he's acting right now and of course he's going to be doing whatever you like right now, but that's not him! That is just a gift that hasn't been opened.

If you get married, you will both wish you didn't, especially when you have two children and you have to file for divorce.

Answer 4

no, even if it is a year or two, people is still going to said fast.
I have a friend that date almost 11 year. The question from moving fast, went to, "Are you getting marry yet?" or "When ARE YOU GETTING MARRY?"
see the problem with time. 4 month is fast, but if you two can prepare all your need that a 3-5 year couple does, than you can shut everyone mouth up.
3-5 year is the amount of time to get marry because of the following
money to be save for the following (I am in California, so the following price is in CA, USa only)
house - 800,000- of course after down payment, every month should be around 5,000
wedding picture/clothes
dinner-(my friend just has a wedding that cost 50,000 for dinner, the food was okay, but really cost 150 a table)
diamond ring (good one cost 30,000 and up)

share account-need to have this to say the guy has the girl or the girl control the man wallet

So if you have everything, you are set to go

Answer 5

i do think this is a bit fast. I am 23 and married now for 4 years. SOmetimes i wish i would have taken it a bit slower i don't think anyone should be married before they are 25. there are just some many things to discover in life and even though you know you love this person and they are perfect maybe you should just spend some more time to know the inside and out of him. You know his favorite things, placves foodds all that. Maybe even live together before the whole wedding thing happens if that is an option because living with someone is totally different thatn visiting and spending the night.

Answer 6

Congrats! I am happy for you!! come here and have a seat beside me. To answer your question I will share you some wisdom that was share with me (smile). You may feel that the both of you're mature for your age. But marriage takes more just being mature to make it works and give you the happiness that last your life time. Yes, four months is way to early and I hate to see your dreams of happiness turn into bitterness and resentful. Too many people blame marriage for their own down fall, rather blaming themselves. I will said that not many people really knows what marriage is all about. Its great to meet someone and everything start of great and before you know it. That you're thinking about that individual almost every moment of the day. And you feel that you can't be without him/her and this feeling would last fore ever. Yes, we all thought that (smile) and the thought of marriage come racing to the front of your mind. Everyone have their own ideal what marriage is all about. But only a few share the same ideal. From a couple of years to three then the bell will toll. How much of his unexpected behavior will you put up with? And he to put up with yours? When will the communication break down, no longer listen and talking to each other, but yelling and demanding that person to do what you said. And the respect that once were and its no more? What about your spending habits, will they increase or will it become tick for tact? Do you know your own limit of what you're willing to deal with and he knows his?

Give yourself more time to see how well things work out between the two of you. ok (smile). Because marriage have some very good ups and some nasty downs. Just think about it and really give yourself some more time to learn about each other before you said, I do. good luck.

Answer 7

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please don't get married yet. Maybe he is "the one", but if so, he will also be "the one" in another 6 months or 12 months. Even if you don't get married right away, you will be focused on your wedding, not the two of you as a couple.
Also, there is so much more to being happily married than being compatible.
Be happy that you've found a great guy and a great relationship. Enjoy this time to learn about each other. It'll probably make you fall even more in love.

Answer 8

I got married after only knowing my husband for 4 months too and it was the best thing I did. We fight like anyone else but having known him any longer would not have changed that. We still would have gotten married. I think it depends on your circumstance but i recommend you move in first because money is a huge problem in most marriages. you will find out if you are truly compatible and if you are on the same page.

Answer 9

Its easy to see the good things about a person when you are going out .But you must also recognize each others faults ,and have the ability to deal with those faults.Marriage is a life long commitment with many responsibilities(children)and you need to prepare yourself for this relationship.You should take as much time as possible before you get married.

Answer 10

4 months isn't that long but if you have a long engagement, that will help. Just do a background check on him to make sure he is who he says he is. I know this sounds callous and like you don't trust him, but I think you will feel better if you find a few things out.

And yes, I have known ppl who marry quickly and they are still together 20 yrs later so it does work!