The Color Complex?

Question

I am just curious to know how many African Americans out there still have this whole preconceived notion that lighter skin is better? I never really thought about this or allowed it to bother me until one of my lighter complexioned African American friend came to college, and she said to me that she would never have a child with a darker skinned black man bc she wants her children to be fair. This was like a slap in the face to me, bc I can't understand how someone could be so brainwashed. Then, later in the day we went somewhere and a Caucasian man hit on me. Now, she was literally awestruck when he was interested in me (a darker skinned AA). I told her that color has nothing to do with beauty. For some reason, men or different races seem to be attracted to me and she darker skinned guys like her. She just detests when they show more attraction towards me instead of her. Why is that? Has anyone else dealt with this? All races opinions are welcome.

LMAO at I love Asian GUYS's answer

Answer 1

A lot of ethnic groups have adopted* the color complex. Yes, I dealt with that kind of behavior in college and I think it so disgusting. There are even Blacks with darker skin who will admit that they do not want to have kids by someone of the same complexion because they don't want their child to go through the so-called humility. It is a type of brainwashing...very sad. And to tell you the truth, I didn't start looking at my own complexion until my father questioned me why I was so black. Like we always say...hate is taught* This behavior doesn't have to exist. Black people prolong this type of behavior (of course not all Blacks).

My dad is from the old school. His mother, my grandmother, taught her children to use the brown paper bag test (anyone darker than the paper bag they were not allowed to even step into the house!), so I guess he never really grew out of it. But I love my dad and I forgive him. He's the best! BUT this is a good example because I don't hate people with light or dark skin. There is no excuse for racism. When I finally showed my dad how much I didn't care about his comments...he stopped. My grandmother's father, my great grand-dad, was African and my great grandmother was Cherokee Indian...I'm not sure if while she was growing up she was ridiculed or what.

Good question.

Answer 2

Yeah, I have a lot of Af.Am friends, and some of them have what I call the Paper Bag Syndrome. You know those societies that would only let you in if you were lighter than a brown paper bag? Well anyway, its sad, that many Af.Am.'s still hold this ideal, as being accepted or beautiful. My one friend has it real bad, her great grandmother was white on one side of the family and Chinese on the other, but both of her parents have to dominate Af. Am gene. She has the syndrome really really bad. She is always claiming that some chick was jealous of her because she is so light skinned and the chick was darker than her. I just ignore it because I feel sorry for her, sometimes I think it's her attitude that makes other women not like her. But she mistakes this for her being so light. Remember that opposites will always attract, that goes for skin color as well. Please don't let this girl bother you, you sound like you have a good mind set. Stay beautiful!

Answer 3

I'm glad you posted an expl. of a black woman being "color struck". Because only black men get pinned as being infected with this mentality. I def. can relate. I have had black women tell me, well I like you, but we could never be serious...because what if we have a baby....he/she could "come out" looking "so dark".....nooo we could never have one together. Even a long time ex-girlfriend was ALWAYS bringing this up. (So much for me finding darker blk women most attractive) I gave up dealing with the mentality for a while, almost developed a phobia of the topic coming up if I dated dark "skinned" women! & yes there are PLENTY of light complexion black women who want to "preserve" their genes. If you look at the men blk women celebrites have dated & married going back to Lena Horne & Dorothy Dandridge (wayy before the whole "well there just ain't any good blk men reflex excuse kicked in) you'll see that blk women have never been immune to this "sickness" either.

Answer 4

Complexes period will be in every race!!!

from black comparing complexions to whites taking about redheads and blondes, etc, asians and mexicans favoring there so called better body types in there nationality, on and on.

Don't get me wrong I do have a preference and it is the total opposite of what people always want!!! but I do not discriminate. I don't think race or skin complexion is better than others, I think it the person that counts.

Answer 5

Yes. Darker men tend to lean towards women with lighter skin because they think they are better for some reason. Women for the most part don't really care but like your example yes sometimes they will. I don't know why this color complex is still alive. I think it's because in the media black women always tend to be light. Men can be as dark as they want though. Strange.

Answer 6

I disagree with the person who said that the problem exists in every race except white. White people TRAMPLE each other over complexion. (I'm speaking generally, of course. In no way am I saying that ALL white people exhibit the same behavior.) People assume that you're bi-racial if you're too dark; and you face all the accompanying stereotypes and racism. Pale people are totally BLASTED and looked upon by many whites in much the same manner as many people view dark complected blacks (ugly, inferior, undesirable, etc...).

Societal/cultural norms and ignorance... That's the best explanation I can come up with.

Answer 7

I'm a dark brown skinned female and I don't care about skin color. If a guy is really nice and even fairly attractive, then I will be interested. But all my life I have been told (by black people, and one "wigger"), how dark I am. And that dark-skinned people were unattractive, I was told more than once. I just look at those people as being ignorant and self hating. It doesn't matter what skin color you are, we are all black.

Answer 8

I've always thought dark brown skin was beautiful.
I think your friend has embraced the "white is right" mentality.
She believes that because she is light this somehow makes her more attractive than someone who isn't. It's not true.

I have met a lot of girls who think that because they're light they're special. It can be frustrating to be around people like that. But at the end of the day I feel sorry for them because they're deeply insecure and brainwashed.

Answer 9

I had a friend from India who was the same way. He marveled at how some of the non-ethnic friends that I had would even speak to me at all. I'm the colour of caramel with some cream to be specific and so was he.... He used to stare at african-american/white couples and was aghast when he found out I was close with a couple of the Persian guys. "What are they doing with you?" he asked with a nasty look on his face as if it was unbelievable...

It's not just african americans, its an entire group of people once colonized.

Answer 10

There is a book of the same name, The Color Complex that you really should check out. There is an historical root and long-running, global significance to the argument. Don't blame the generations of brainwashed, but try to understand the purpose of brainwashing. Feel pity for your friend, not anger.