Has any man on here actually been so scared of being hurt that they ended a potentially great relationship early? Most people always see it as an excuse to end the relationship. One hears that people can become so afraid that they end things thinking that the other person is going to hurt them. They take feelings of hurt from past relationships into the new ones and prepare for the hurt. Once they start prepping for the hurt, they get scared and leave. A pre-emptive dump??? If it is true that you men can get so scared, would anyone who has felt this please post your reasons for doing something like this (leaving a great relationship early with someone you really like). You hear about this so much and I was curious to understand it better.
2007-08-20 10:11:28 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Even though your question is addressed to men, I decided to reply.
The topic is a controversial one. Many will say that they have ended a relationship because of fear of hurt, men and women alike. But are the reasons solely based on fear?
In your post you mention breaking a great relationship. Think about a serious and wonderful relationship that you or someone close to you ever had. How did it feel? Do you think you or they could have possibly broken it off simply for the sake of fear? One doesn't start a relationship if they are afraid of hurting or being hurt in the first place. If you have reached a stage where you believe that the relationship is exclusive and great, you should have no fear of being hurt. It's irrational to break up with someone you believe in and have feelings for. Just imagine how broken inside and disappointed you will be once you end this relationship. Most importantly you would have hurt yourself and your partner. So there you go, you just caused pain to two important people because you didn't have the guts to maintain a healthy emotional state.
Unfortunately, most of us do not mix rationale and feelings in one bowl, and when faced with something dreadful we make rush decision, which we are likely to regret. Thus, many break up for the fear of future sorrow.
However, there is the other, darker side of this theory. From my own experience, I'd say that most of the time we break up and not to hurt the other party involved, we come up with lame excuses and often times it's somehow connected with the "fear factor". " Oh, I am afraid of hurting or getting hurt", or " I can't get over my past bad experiences" are frequently heard but yet the meaning behind these words is so much deeper. We might have met someone new or are simply bored with our current mate.
Whatever the reason, each one of us should take responsibly in their actions and explain to themselves and others involved the real reasons of a break up, no matter how harsh they are.
To solve your question is not easy, but if you were looking for an answer to a current problem you are facing, I say don't blindly believe in what you hear the first time. Dig deeper into your partner's soul by having am one on one mature conversation with him and the truth will surely surface.
2007-08-20 10:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by A J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can not answer on my behalf because I never have dumped a woman in a relationship. However I have been dumped a couple of times for this particular reason. I have had two relationships where the female dumped me because I refused to pick a fight or to loose my temper with them. They could not handle it for some reason. I prefer to talk and be equals. Now my ex-wife was just about not enough money being made, even though I was making $6k a month as a paramedic in the E.R. and on an ambulance company as well. But people are strange, I think people leave good relationships for fear of low selfesteam, or even a family member situation in a relationship, or just their last or a past relationship was screwing with their head. Hard to really answer in a general answer. It is all about that individuals past and present circumstances.
2016-03-17 03:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a man, but I can't help but think it's a cop out.
In my experience when a person is not ready for a new relationship they instinctively do things to sabotage the relationship. They don't come out and say they are scared...they just do stupid things so that you push THEM away.
2007-08-20 10:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by Cherry Darling 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Details. UH UH.
I'll never be hurt again by love.
Two young deaths and a divorce did me in.
2007-08-20 10:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. We men are kind of wimpy in this area. Some of us can take a bullet better than we can take a broken heart.
Everything in life is balanced.
2007-08-20 10:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by Starte Christ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋