I have a friend married less than 5 months and everytime she turns around her husband is accusing her of being unfaithful and is always going behind her back checking computer files and recently even has admitted to going behind her back to check the caller ID and to check the home and cell phones phone books to see if there are any new numbers listed. Now this female comes from a large family of 9 kids total and there is no way on earth he could possibly know who is family and who isn't. He just jumps to the conclusion that she has something to hide and that she is cheating on him. His 1st wife cheated on him with a guy from the net, but the only reason my friend still has a PC at all is for her work and her school classes. I'm afraid this situation is going to turn physically violent if it continues. She has PTSD and can not take much stress.
2007-08-20 10:04:45 · 7 answers · asked by sisters 4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some people are like that...and usually they don't get any better. Accusation with no solid proof is part of the cycle of abuse. They guy has trust issues regardless of where it stems from. Did his first wife REALLY cheat on him from the net? You have to wonder since he's falsely accusing your friend maybe he made up the crap about the Xwife too? You never know how deep this may go? Beware, and if it gets much worse get out.
2007-08-20 10:13:22 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's been hurt before, and now he's gun shy.
She needs to sit him down and say, "Listen, Honey. I understand how hurt you got by Jane's affair, but I am NOT Jane. I have never given you reason to doubt me. I am faithful to you in every way. I cannot take this anymore, because it makes me feel like a prisoner in my own home. There is such a thing as holding onto someone so tightly, they run screaming for air so they can breathe. I can't live like this." The catch is, she needs to mean it. If he continues, she might need to bail, or forever live in a domestic concentration camp.
2007-08-20 17:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get some counseling FAST!
And she needs to let him know this, and that she loves him, but that she can't take the stress of his constant accusations and that he needs to get some help for the sake of both of them and their relationship. She also may try reminding him that she is NOT his first wife, and that he needs to give her a fair chance.
2007-08-20 17:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is highly unlikely that this person she has married will change for the better, it generally gets worse. And stress will not be the only thing he'll met out,
2007-08-20 17:16:11 · answer #4 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds paranoid and mentally ill. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do in this situation. She chose to marry this guy - so, in spite of his shortcomings, there's something about him that seems compelling enough to her to endure this bullcrap. I don't see how you can change her view.
2007-08-20 17:10:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to them to try marriage counselling?
2007-08-20 17:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be able to be around someone like that. If she's not happy, she should just leave.
2007-08-20 17:09:30 · answer #7 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋