dark poem.?

Question

i will choose the most beautifule depresive poem that you will send me . this is mine dark poem(not much as a poem but i try):




World feeding my soul cry
Hearts drowning in tears wishing to die
Mind bearing the unbearable weight of flesh,
with no use only good for trash.
No word was spoken,
hide behinde hearts brocken.
And me with the hell flames burning inside ,
traped in a cage with nothing left but rage.
Stuk between life and death ,
wolking through endless path

Answer 1

Here's what your poem would look like in English:

World feeds my crying soul
My heart drowns in tears, wishing to die
Mind bearing an unbearable weight
Of flesh only good for trash
No word was spoken
Hide behind hearts broken
And me, with Hell's flames burning inside
Trapped in a cage with nothing left but rage
Stuck between life and death
Walking through an endless path

...trouble is, it's not very good, even when it's in proper English. I feel what you wanted of this poem, but it didn't get there. A common mistake when trying to write a "dark" poem is a speaker who "tells" us how bad they feel...you did try to show us in a few places, such as Hell's flames burning inside", but the lines are a little disjointed. Your spelling errors would imply that English is not your native language, so this might be part of the problem (a common problem)..

In any event, you're very brave to attempt a poem in another language...something I haven't done myself, so I'll give you credit for the attempt.

keep writing

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Write in your native language ... whatever that is.