Is it okay for your husband to go to bars without his wife?

Question

He says it's only to have a drink and unwind, but i can't help but think he may have other things on his mind.

Answer 1

I guess it depends on how often, how long he is out, and who else he is with. If its very rarely and he is home in an hour to hour and a half, I think its probably fine. If its every week or less for a few hours, I would be irritated and think something was up.

Answer 2

As long as your husband does not go to bars with my wife, I'm cool with it. Aw, okay, sorry to be such a wise guy, but almost all guys who do frequent bars really are there just to have a drink and unwind. Yes, there are fellows there with less honorable intentions, but you'd laugh if you knew how infrequently they manage to do anything other than make fools of themselves.
Besides - who says you can't join hubby at the bar now and then?

Answer 3

It depends on who he's going with, how often he goes, whether or not he gets drunk and whether or not he has done anything in the past to cause you not to trust him. My husband and I had this same issue. He wanted to go out with his "single" friends and drink at least twice a month. Then sometimes he would go with his "married" friends after work and have a drink. That's okay ... in moderation. Everybody needs space and should be allowed to go out with their friends, without you, but when it becomes a habit or the person is not being responsible then that may cause problems. I say it's okay if it's every now and then and if he's hanging with responsible people. But let me tell you, I used to trust my husband with my life and he really let me down. He cheated on me with an ex-fling and he ran into her at a bar in his hometown (while hanging out with his "single" friends). I would say always be alert and on your toes. Keep your eyes and ears open and NEVER go against your gut feeling. If you feel that something isn't right, follow your first mind. No, that doesn't mean you need to accuse the man of cheating if he's not cheating. It just means to be aware. Does he invite you to go the bar sometimes? Not everytime, but sometimes? If not, that would be my first suspicion. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Not at my house it's not. It leads to trouble. He can have a drink and unwind at home. If he needs his "own time" he can go out on the patio or in the office or in another room of the house. No bars w/o the spouse, period!
I trust my husband completely, but if he/I were to go to a bar alone, or with friends but w/o each other, it would lead to questions, it would give the wrong impression to those at the bar looking for s/thing, and it's just too much of a pain to deal with when the spouse is hounding you about what happened, who'd you talk to, how much did you drink, etc. Just don't do it!

Answer 5

It's ok for YOUR husband to go to bars, if it ok with YOU.
If it really bothers you, then either you need to grow some trust or he needs to honor your fears. It is about mutual respect and honest communication.
What else specifically, do you think he has in mind? Is this a REAL situation or FEAR? Just about any thing he can do in a bar, he can do in the neighborhood or at work.
If he knows it really bothers you, and does it anyway, you need to talk. If he is truly innocently unwinding (occasionally) and giving you no problems at home, then YOU need to decide if you want it to be a deal-breaker or if you are going to learn to put up with it. You may have some trust issues from another relationship.
If you have reason to distrust him, then he needs to address that, and stay out of tempting situations until he has proven himself to YOUR Satisfaction. If he is not willing to do that, he is not respecting you.
Do you KNOW that you could handle anything he might decide to do? I know that for myself, and I am content to assume he is being good. If he wasn't, he KNOWS I would toss him out on his ear.
It is fine for MY husband to go to a bar alone, because I know he is trustworthy. I could go as well. If it became a daily or weekly habit, with the same person(s), I would have a fit! He would have a fit, too.
It would be a DEAL-BREAKER!

Answer 6

No, I should think that he just wants to get away and have some time to himself. He may be scoping out other people (as we all do) but that doesn't mean he'll stray - if that is your concern, which I think it is.. Who doesn't like to people watch :)

We all relax and "unwind" in different ways; if say, you enjoy getting massages and he was upset or worried that you had an ulterior motive you would think he was crazy right?
He may enjoy occaisonally doing the things he used to do like going to grab a beer at the local bar or whatever. Its no biggie. He'll always come home to you.

I say dont sweat it.

Answer 7

If I want a drink and want to unwind, I open up a can of beer at home and get a hug from my wife. If I were in your position I would be concerned. So, go meet him at the bar, have a few drinks and unwind at his side.

Answer 8

There is no single answer for this question. It depends on the guy, the bar, all that jazz. I've gone to a bar without my significant other, it's not a huge deal but I also don't do it all the time and it's just right down the street and I'm 24 and everyone else at this bar is over 40 probably. I'm also only gone for 2 hours max.

Answer 9

I don't know about the unwinding excuse. But if he wants to get together with boys thats cool. My b/f says that sometimes, but I know there are still girls involved... (mutual friends dating other friends, and etc). I tell him it's not a boys night out if it's not all boys. Take turns... Usually when the relationship gets real serious bars and clubs are usually out of the window except for special occasions.

Answer 10

It is definitely o.k and I would recommend it. Couples get together then forget that everyone still needs some alone time. Most guys would really go to the bar only to have a drink. If you try to tell a man what he can and can't do that's when he starts thinking about the "other things" you are talking about.

Answer 11

I think this is completely normal. It is men way of socialising with friend at the end of the week.

We go out without them too.. so it is just normal.

My fiance went out to bar for drinks with his friends every friday night and of course as a female I get kinda funny and thinking there must be more than just that.. hehe But really nothing going wrong.. I worry too much :)

It is normal the way you feel, you care about him and love him that why. You should spend more time worry about who he hang out with, because his friends could be the leading to any trouble.
I don't like one of my fiance friend coz he is so flirty and he single so he might doing the pick up and my fiance just join the fun...
Trust your man is all you can do.
If you still don't feel too good then ask him casually what happen at the PUB? does he enjoy his time out? anything interesting with his friend? any hot chick in there?? be very normal about it. And when he answer just smile and laugh along. This make him wana tell you more and not affaid you get upset..
Listen to his answer and let your personal instinc and gut feeling do the work!!

Good Luck.