How do you learn to let go?

Question

When there no other choice, How do you let go

I recently broke up with the love of my life. she went back to france after us having a long relation. the after two year we start talking again, But know she has a child . we try one more time , but everything is different, she treats me diffrent, we are like strangers. And she putts up a wall beetween us. I can't get over.This is the woman i wanted to share my life with. and it is now impossible, she 's back in France now and we dont talk anymore after 11 years of being so one. I can get over it . I can't see my future anymore. Its been a year since then and Im not dating , Im not looking,, Im not getting younger, my life is at a halt. please advise.

Answer 1

it's hard.
you have to learn to forget it, be confident in yourself, and believe you can actually let it go.
that may sound cheesy, but it's true.
you have to let yourself be able to get back into whatever life you were living before.. whatever.. happened.
it's hard, but if it's what you really want, you'll do it.
you dont' want something nagging at the back of your head if you can still be happy after letting something go.

Answer 2

If she has a child now and it is yours, then it is really over and it is because you don't seem to care as much for the child as she does. You mention being together a long time. You mention that 'she has a child' - well, where in the world did that child come from? I'm getting the feeling that it is your child but you are divorced from any emotion that a parent would have.
You seem to be thinking only of yourself and what has just walked away from you. The woman who left you recognized that your interests start and end with yourself. She is going on with her life and being a mother to her child, not relying on your selfish nature to share in raising that child.
Sorry, that's all the information I got from the way your phrased the question. It really is over. No thinking feeling mother of a child would want to hang around with such a narcissistic man! Her life goes on...
If it is not your child, then the story is still the same. She's a mother of a child now. Not your permanent dating partner or love interest. She's responsible for someone. You seem to be responsible for no one but yourself. I stick with the original 'narcissistic' to describe your feelings in this matter.

Answer 3

If your talking about divorce, or a relationship ending... let me say it's the hardest thing in the world to let go. I know because I'm going through it right now. It sounds cheesy, but the only thing that can heal you is time. You have to take one day at a time, and there will be good days and bad days, and you have to deal with the pain and face the fact that it's over. Soon you'll see that the good days will out-number the bad, and then someday the bad days will be far behind you.

Answer 4

Awww. You poor baby. Some times life will throw rocks in the road and it will get bumpy. But don't put your life on hold. It seems to me that she has the problem. Just put your feelings on your forehead, tell her and if she does not come around. do something for yourself go to a bar or something let someone take you home and try to take your mind off her. Stop wasting your energy on her if she's truely yours she'll come back.

Answer 5

I have been told that it just takes time, some people recover faster than others. I have been separated, not divorced, from my husband of 30 years and it still seems like yesterday that I found out that he had been cheating with the company tramp for over a year.

Answer 6

I felt as you do for over 7 years, don't let it go on that long. The only thing that worked for me was to search out his bad points and focus on those until I convinced myself I could never have lived with them. It sounds horrible, but it did break the torch I carried for 7 loooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggggg years.

Blessed Be

Answer 7

Time heals all wounds and life waits for no one. Move on. You'll get over her in due time. In the meantime, try dating or occupying your time with other things that you enjoy to take you mind off of her. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Good luck.

Answer 8

It's easier if you can remove all traces and reminders of whatever or whoever you are trying to let go of. Put it out of your mind. If you can just force yourself to forget all about it, eventually you really will forget. The memories will fade as time goes on. It's not easy. Just try pretend as much as you can that it never happened. It's almost like tricking your mind to forget until it is able to forget on it's own. Of course it happened, and no, you won't be able to totally forget about it, but if you can just keep telling yourself it never happened, eventually your mind will believe what it's constantly told.

Answer 9

if you and she can't see eye to eye, ask her waht went wrong and she will probably say that she got nervous and is possibly afraid that she has not the same feelings for her as you did her. Go to a singles club or go to church or have another friend set you up with someone else. If it isn't working out now, it mayu not happen.

Answer 10

Something had to happen in France for her to put that wall up and you have to understand that part first. to learn to let go is the hardest part. but it gets easier once accept the situation. i think the worse thing you can do is get a rebound. that will only make things worse if you truly lover her. let time, acceptance, love for her( maybe letting her go is helping her) and the love you have for yourself help you let go. it will get easier over time.