If so, how, please?
2007-08-20 08:21:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thinking patterns grow stronger with use. This is known psychologoically and even biologically. The same way you learn a new skill you can change your behaviours.
When you have a random negative thought (or self-critical) pause and examine your thought. Where did it come from? What is the reasoning behind it? What benefit is there to act on this? Usually you'll find very few that stand up to the light of day. I pulled myself out of low-self-esteem depression with this technique so I know it's powerful.
When you have REAL negative things happen, you need to find something positive about the situation, and work to turn it to your advantage. I never realised how many opportunities there were in life until I changed my way of thinking.
Here's my example:
I got kicked out of my apartment for ridiculous reasons at 3 in the morning. I had nowhere to sleep and all my stuff was on the front step. I had to work the next day at 9:30.
My pessimism started out: "you'll be too tired to work in the morning" "I think the weather said it was going to rain" "Your food is going to go bad before you can put it in a fridge"
I examined each one. Yes, I needed to have a nap somewhere, get my stuff out of the rain, and put my food in the fridge. No, failing one of these things won't kill me.
I remembered that I had the key to my work and the code to the alarm. I walked 2 hours to work (busses were shut down) and put my perishables in the lunch fridge and my stuff in the storage room. I had a nap on some chairs.
I was tired the next day but stayed cheerful (with some effort).
By the end of the day, my determination and attitude had gotten to my boss - he told mee he owned a property nearby and was not planning to rent it out yet, but I could have a room.
Now my rent is $50 cheaper than before, I have no evil roommates (they still owe me $200), and my commute is halved.
If I had given up that night and slept on the lawn or something stupid I would probably have gotten in trouble, if not fired. (is that pessimism?)
Hope this story inspires you, and proves to you the effectiveness of this technique. Every disaster is an opportunity, and if you train your mind to see them you can exploit them.
2007-08-20 09:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by tristanridley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the process of becoming an optimist and it's not easy. There's no magic bullet or simple 7 step solution. Like wranglergirl said, it just takes a lot of work. But life is better...much better. Anyways, most people(so did I) have the wrong idea about optimism. They think it's just being deluded and completely ignoring the negative. This is far from the truth. Real optimism is understanding that there are going to be problems and knowing you can overcome them.
2007-08-20 15:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by Listening Now 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a pessimist you are very seldom disappointed.
If you were an optimist, life would be disappointing you all the time.
Therefore as a pessimist you are better off.
Therefore you have something to be optimistic about.
See, you were an optimist all along! QED!
2007-08-20 15:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by SkodaKat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep sure it can... I used to be a pessimist but now I'm an optimist. Travelled around asia for a year, learned about buddhism, turned into a vegan and now I really don't care about material things. The old me probably would hate the new me but I don't care... never thought I could be like this but I'm so happy now.
2007-08-20 15:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by jenny84 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my sister used to be a pessimist and i am an optimist lol. all you have to do is live with one who wont mind the negativity lol and you will soon become optimistic lol.
but if you arent as lucky as my sister...heres a few tips... when you are thinking negatively... DONT. stop and instead conecentrate on the positives. no matter if there are more negatives... we optimistics are positives lol. if there is no positive... then just invent one lol. at least no alien ship landed on your house...crushing everything...increasing your insurance...which you forgot to renew lol.
i find it always helps to smile =D
even when you dont feel like it...just smile =D
it helps loads. and you soon start feeling happy lol.
just give it time and you will have the advantage of being hyper in the morning for a pessimistic friend lol.
smile and positivity shall follow =D
2007-08-20 15:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by Smile =D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its just like someone who wants to lose weight, it takes dedication, time, and exercise. Start training yourself by writing in a journal. Write down your pessimistic thoughts, then evaluate them...try and turn each negative thought into a positive one. It will be hard work, but if you are willing to put forth the effort, anything can be acheived!
Best of luck!
2007-08-20 15:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by wranglergirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can change. The main thing is to be desirous of change, and to get the start right. Though I don't have any good ways of getting you started, may I recommend a couple of books?
Celestine Prophesy by James Redman. A great way to start a new philosophy.
You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay. A great way to look at that which needs changing.
2007-08-20 15:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The short answer is "no", BUT you can be less pessimistic about things. Talk to a friend or a good shrink.
2007-08-20 15:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by captbullshot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you can change your mind set by having some success at something, however small that may be. Think of what you're good at and have done well then follow that example in all you do. Even if its sex that you have lead think of why it was so good and use similar energy to do other things.
2007-08-20 15:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be both, optimist's get in to problems easy coz they think something wont happen to them, pessimist's are wary.
2007-08-20 15:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by Artyfarty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋