I want to be there to help him but I know that I don't want to be a man who smokes crack. I think I should just stay away from him but I'm also afraid he is going to commit suicide. I am very co-dependent so I really want to help him but at the same time I know I cannot help him. Any Advice?
2007-08-20 08:13:59 · 45 answers · asked by jolie t 1 in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
You need to be away from him until he is ready to deal with it himself. if you think he is a danger to himself, call the cops. if you are underage, speak to a person in authority.
2007-08-20 08:18:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am so sorry. I've been in a similar situation with a boyfriend who was addicted to crack and it is hard. Firstly, in my opinion you are right to not be with a man who smokes crack. The drug is terrible and can completely take over one's sanity... I know with my ex, he would make it sound like he was going to quit and then he would do it again. I would find crack pipes in his pant pockets even when he said it had been months since he smoked it. I even followed him one time and caught him buying the drug. Listen honey, this will make you go crazy. You need to look after you and only you. I think right now the best thing to do is get him established and make sure he is safe by himself... then let him go. That is all you can do. Does he attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings? What about rehab? Help him in the right direction, fast, and then you need to leave. You cannot save him, no matter how hard you try. For you, you should consider reading books on codependency and even attending a Codependents Anonymous meeting (CODA... enter that on a search engine and read up on it).... this helped me tremendously to separate other people's issues and to put what's most important first, me and my needs. Read a book called In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant. The best support you will get throughout the breakup. It is a great book and helped me to get away from my ex who smoked crack. Unfortunately, I stayed along long enough to get pregnant but while reading this book I found the strength to leave. I didn't keep the baby and I live with that but I know I did what was good. Please hang in there, I know it is tough but you MUST look after you. Good luck!
2007-08-20 08:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him a guitar and a djembe.
Tell him that whever he feels the urge to smoke, go to the room and play the urge or craving out on the guitar.
Before he goes to the room, clear away all of the things he uses to smke out of his sight.
If he sees it, he'll only want to smoke an not play out the cravings he's dealing with.
If the cravings are really harsh, tell him to pound away the need to smoke. He'll need to be with the Djembe drum everytime at home until he is cured 100%.
If that doesn't seem to work, bring him with you on a long walk in the park until he cools off from the cravings.
I blieve those cycles of therapidic tricks could help a boyfriend like your's out.
I'm just a supporter.
2007-08-20 08:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by Casu. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go to a NA meeting and get a sponsor, and you are right you cannot help him. Pray for him and hope that one hit doesnt take him back deep into his addiction, But nine time out of ten it will take him far out again. Try and help him get to a meeting, but that is about all you can do for him. Or help him get into a program to get some treatment, but it is really best to have a recovering addict help him especially if you are a big co dependent.
2007-08-20 08:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should look up AL-Anon it is for family members of Alcoholics, but you can get great info from it. It is for co-dependency issues, which it sounds like you have. You need to leave the druggie, he is not recovering if he is using!!!! If he commits suicide, it is not your fault!! You should go see a counselor or a psychiatrist for help yourself!!
2007-08-20 08:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by JNS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave.
If he loved you and cared about you more then himself then he wouldn't have done it again after recovering. You can no longer help him until he wants to help yourself. Leave before you end up married with children to a man that will always put drugs first. Don't stay. Go out there and meet someone that you deserve. Leave.
2007-08-20 08:22:28 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want or deserve this in your life? It's nice to help someone, but you'll be doing it every weekend for the rest of your life. AND the drugs will keep him from being a good provider.
Move on. It's hard, yes. But you deserve so much better.
2007-08-20 08:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get help for the co-dependence. Try Al-anon, or a therapist.
If he is recovering, then he should have a sponsor somewhere. He needs to get back to an NA meeting, pronto. Your help should be limited to driving him to an NA meeting, or to meet with his sponsor or therapist.
If you are afraid he is suicidal, call your local suicide line. They should be able to help on some level.
2007-08-20 08:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by gefyonx 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a though one! Try to get him into activity's go play a sport at the park take him to a walk during sunset, if none of this work get him help by calling a hot line were they could help him for free. I know this situation is hard for you but if you really love him then you could help and if he doesn't change at all well I'm sorry but you will need to let him go.
2007-08-20 08:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by VegasPapi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would inform his this behavior is totally unacceptable and suggest it will end our relationship. You don't to have a boyfriend who is an active crack user. I'm sorry, but you need to break that co-dependency as quick as you can. You can offer to help and support, but he has to do what is required. Think of yourself, its the best thing for him as well.
2007-08-20 08:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he smoked he is not a recovering addict, he is an addict. Give him an ultimatum, tell him you will leave if he doesn't stop. If he spends more than 10 seconds thinking about it, or tries to skate around that, just go, and seriously don't go back. he will destroy your life otherwise.
2007-08-20 08:22:12 · answer #11 · answered by Jon C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋