How come i'm not pregnant.?

Question

I admit the following is not the smartest thing, & i do realize that i'm going to hear about it. but i just need answers.
Me & my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. marriage is deff. in the future. we're good for each other. its basicly going to work out in the long run.
his mom is older & he wants to make sure she knows her grandchildren so we kinda started trying by not using any sort of protection. for three months i was off the pill & didn't get pregnant. then i got scared &started the pill up again. now we live together & we aren't exactly trying, but we aren't preventing it either.
i have HPV (as do 80% of women in the US by the age of 40) & some studies have shown that that can make you not be able to have babies which is scary because that was my dream, to be a mother. but there are also alot of cases that defy the studies.
& last but not least i was a miracle baby. my mom's uterus was tilted & the doctor said she should't have kids & its hereditary. true?

Answer 1

it could be a number of things, like heredity or physical, or it could be that is is just not the right time, you can will all you want to to try and make it happen but it will happen when God feels it is right. you were put on this earth the way you started out for a special reason, you will be a mom when the time is right, stop trying to get the horse before the cart it never works out the right way for anyone who does that. get checked out through your doctor you might have a blockage or something as well, either way good luck

Answer 2

i'm not an expert on this topic, ad i don't know anything about hpv's or tilted uterus. but i've had a friend who was trying to get pregnant for about two years, so i'll share what i know about this.

her doctor told her that sometimes it really just takes time for someone to get pregnant. but most of the time the reasons are low sperm count and stress. so maybe try not to think too much about why you're not pregnant yet. that's what my friend did, and now she's four months pregnant.

of course, the best way to know why is to go to a doctor. hope this could help

Answer 3

All of those things could be a factor. You may want to try and not just not prevent it. Find out exactly when you ovulate and try for those days. You may also want to get checked for a tilted uterus. Keep trying and Good luck. You should look at marriage first because although, you feel that he is your soul mate things happen.

Answer 4

Before anything, make sure you are ready to have a child. Just because his mom wants you guys to have kids does not mean you have to have kids now, if you aren't ready.

Once you know for sure that you are ready for this, stop taking your pill. Start charting your BBT and using OPK's. Find out exactly when you are fertile and/or ovulating and BD on those days. Good luck!

Answer 5

The egg is only viable for 12-36 hours when you ovulate. And you did partially answer your question- that HPV can cause sterility in some women. It can also take time for your cycles to get back into their natural rhythm after you come off the pill.

Answer 6

Well, I hate to be harsh, but HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. You should have had safer sex or none at all and you wouldn't have to worry about it now.

Since you and your boyfriend are not married yet, but are planning to one day, it sounds like you guys are not stable enough to be thinking about a child right now anyway.

Take you concerns to your doctor. She should be able to tell you if your anatomy is causing the problem. But most likely you're just stressed. You're under a lot of pressure to get pregnant. Once you guys stop thinking about it and trying so hard - it will happen.

Best of luck! : )

Answer 7

i beg to differ on the anti cohabitation theory of shauna. would you rather find the habits of your partner that you are gona be at a brik wall trying to get him/her to change now before costly weddings..leading to costly divorce? or would you like to find the habits now. where you have leverage. he/she can change this habit now or you can leave. no paper work to re change you name. bet cha shauna is catholic! as for the unable to have babies thing. maybe what ever god you worship or dieties you follow intend you to be a mommy to a baby that has been born to the wrong mommy? maybe the experience of pregnancy is teaching someone else a lesson that they need to learn and time will connect you to the baby you are meant to be a mommy to. EVERYTHING happens the WAY it does for a reason.

Answer 8

1) a tilted uterus is not even almost a deterrent to pregnancy. that is an old idea that doctors have since poo-poo'd.

2) i bet your boyfriend's mother would also like to know his WIFE before she dies. if you are committed and so in love, get married before you get pregnant. provide your child a legitimate home and secure union. you're already playing house, so you don't really need a big wedding. either go to the court house or wait to get pregnant and have a big wedding. you should want that for yourself and your child. what's more romantic than conceiving on your honeymoon?

3) you shouldn't rush parenthood for someone else. his mother won't be raising this child for 18 yrs. if you two haven't made a concrete commitment to each other, then why would you make a lifelong commitment to a vulnerable, fragile child? if your bf is hesitant to marry or think it can wait, you should take that as a signal to put on the brakes and wait for a ring.

4) are you financially ready to support a baby? since you aren't married, you should consider if you are able to support a baby as a single mother. i know you're in love and things look rosy, but for every single mother, there is a man who she was in love with at the time of conception. the stress of bills, sleep deprivation, colic, lower sex drive, and any other issues (health probs with the baby?) can take a toll on a marriage. if a man isn't bound to a woman, the feeling of obligation to work together is lessened. he can leave and get a new girlfriend while you are stuck with the child and only see child support pymts.

you already have sabotaged your relationship by living together first. studies show that cohabitation leads to higher divorce rates than couples who don't live together. check out some findings in a recent discovery health article.


The most recent U.S. Census figures confirm what most everyone already knows — divorce rates, indeed, are on the rise.

With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, many couples are starting to re-evaluate their relationships.

But before you start any heady analysis, it's important to know the facts from the myths when it comes to marriage:

Marriage Myth 2: Having children typically brings a married couple closer together and increases marital happiness.

Fact: Many studies have shown that the arrival of the first baby commonly has the effect of pushing the mother and father farther apart, and bringing stress to the marriage. However, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.

Marriage Myth 5: Couples who live together before marriage, and are thus able to test how well suited they are for each other, have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.

Fact: Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up. One reason is that people who cohabit may be more skittish of commitment and more likely to call it quits when problems arise. But in addition, the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. The findings of one recent study, for example, suggest "there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills." (One important exception: Cohabiting couples who are already planning to marry each other in the NEAR FUTURE have just as good a chance at staying together as couples who don't live together before marriage).

Marriage Myth 9: Cohabitation is just like marriage, but without "the piece of paper."

Fact: Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits — in physical health, wealth and emotional wellbeing — that marriage does. In terms of these benefits, cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the well-being of their partner.

Marriage Myth 10: Because of the high divorce rate, which weeds out the unhappy marriages, people who stay married have happier marriages than people did in the past when everyone stuck it out, no matter how bad the marriage.

Fact: According to what people have reported in several large national surveys, the general level of happiness in marriages has not increased and probably has declined slightly. Some studies have found in recent marriages, compared to those of 20 or 30 years ago, significantly more work-related stress, more marital conflict and less marital interaction.

if you would like to participate in an anonymous marriage and relationship study visit: http://geocities.com/sbiv37/marr

Answer 9

Being a mother is the most joyous, scarey, exhilerating, wonderfull, and beautiful of all experiances of living life. Having a child is a wondrous event. Being pregnant and feeling your child grow within you, kicking and moving around, is absolutely amazing! Giving birth is scarey yet the most joyous and exhilerating experiance. Creating life inside of you and then bringing it forth to hold in your arms is an inconceivable joy. Raising your child(ren) and watching them grow into little individuals and then young adults who are viable assets to the community is just the most wonderful rides of your life. It has every conceivable emotion involved and their is nothing like the love a parent has for his/her child.

I hope you are able to have a child if that is what you truly want. I agree that everything you listed is a possible impediment to conceiving and giving birth.

However, this does not mean it will absolutely stop you from conceiving. Are they things you should be concerned with? Sure they are! But, it doesn't equate to your not being able to have children all together.

First of all I would advice you to stop trying so hard and worrying about this. Studies have shown that women who worry and stress too much over lack of conceiving can and do stop themselves from conceiving. Stress and worry can add too much negitivity and this leads to lack of conceiving.

I know many parents who finally gave up trying all together. They still didn't use any birth control because why should they when they weren't conceiving anyway? So, they still had the option of a pregnancy occurring, but they just stopped thinking about it and because of this their stress levels were greatly reduced and the next thing they knew a few months or a year or so later she was pregnant!! I am serious, look it up for yourself at one of the many Online websites which are devoted to individuals who are trying to have children yet failing to do so.

My cousin adopted two little girls from over seas. They are beautiful children and she loves them as if she gave birth to them. She had fully given up any hope of giving birth herself. However, when her youngest daughter was two she became pregnant. She know has three little girls whom she adores. I just wanted to share this with you so you can see even the most hopeless cases can eventually resolve themselves. Her Dr. had told her she would never conceive a child. She had a tilted uterus, had cervical cancer at stage three, and her husband had a very low sperm count. Yet, she finally conceived and bore a healthy infant girl.

Have you been to the Dr. yet and had tests run on both you and your boyfriend? That would be a first step to discover what exactly is impeding your ability to conceive. Plus, three months is simply not enough time to give up hope of any type.

Like the other poster noted it can take time for a body to recoup after taking birth control. While it is also true that some people who just miss one dose get pregnant, while others even get pregnant while on birth control, many women's bodies take time to readjust to different levels of hormones in their bodies. Three months of not taking the pill, then going back on, then off again, is not conducive to conception.

Listen, stop worrying so much, allow your body time to adjust and then just allow nature to take its course.

There are things you can do to increase your odds of conception, such as writing down your cycle and ovulation periods, taking your temperature to tell you when you are most ready for conception, and other things you can do as well to increase your odds. The Dr. can help you determine what exactly you should be doing, or go Online and read up on this topic. The biggest issue is to not stress and worry yourself as you are. It truly is a detriment to conception.

I think you will probably conceive when your body is ready. I (stupidly) went without birth control of any type from age sixteen to nineteen when I became pregnant with my first child. I had began to think I would never get pregnant. I still wonder to this day why I didn't get pregnant for three full years without any birth control. I was sexually active with my boyfriend and then husband, so how weird is that?

So, if you haven't yet seen a Dr. please consider it. Do some Online research and try to relax. You will conceive when and if it is time for you to do so. Also, if it does turn out you can't conceive, there are many wonderful children in the world who need a good and loving set of parents. Consider adoption.

Good luck and I wish you all the best in the world. I truly hope you get your hearts desire of a child to hold in your arms. There is nothing better, no better gitf than a child in your arms who is your own, wether birthed or adopted. It IS possible to love an adopted child as deeply as you would a birth child.

P.S. Please consider marriage first and baby after you have been married a couple of years. The best gift you can give your so wished for child is a happy marriage for his/her parents. A baby puts a lost of stress on a relationship, and if you are not married then neither of you are completely committed to the relationship. Studies show that those who live together before marriage, except when the couple is planning on marriage very soon, like in a couple of months, these marriages fail much more often than for couples who do not live together first. Also, unless your boyfriend is married to you he is more likely to leave when the stress gets high. Every single mother had a partner they loved when they got pregnant. So, please consider marriage, then wait a couple years so you two can bond together alone and then introduce a child into the equation.

Good luck and a very happy life!