hi, my husband lost his job a week ago today. he has not even looked for a job. it seems that every time i come home for my lunch he is still sleeping. he goes out late every night, and then he sleeps all day. i know it has only been a week, but damn we have bills to pay! it seems that i am looking for the job for him, i go on monster.com and post his resume to all the companies that are suitable for his lazy a$$. is he just being a lazy lump?
2007-08-20 05:48:03 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes he is. It's typical though. He is probally depressed. He needs to get his *** in gear though and you are just the person that can help. I wish you the best of luck!!!
2007-08-20 05:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but you don't exactly come across as supportive. He might be depressed. It hurts a man's ego when they can't provide. They've been taught (most men anyway) that men are the providers and protectors. And when they 'fail' in that job, it is a big blow to their feelings of self-worth. The sleeping alot could also be a sign of depression. Encourage him to find something he likes to do. It's alot easier to work a job you like than a job you hate. And go out job hunting with him. Don't just nag him to do it, get out there with him and help keep his spirits up. If all of that doesn't work, then I guess he really is just a lazy lump.
2007-08-20 13:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this can be normal for some men. Their job is tied in with their ego. This happens to women too. It is OK to post his resume and let him know that you did that for him, but it is probably not wise to do his job hunting for him, or nag him about it. If you see that the bills are coming due and you are worried about how to pay them, then ask him in a non threatening way, which ones you can pay late. That just might be his wake up call. Try supporting him through this, because anger will get you no where.
2007-08-20 12:59:59 · answer #3 · answered by jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he is probably depressed. This will usually occur after someone is fired or laid off. It happens because the person feels inadequate and it lowers the self-confidence quite a lot.
However, this does not mean that you should treat him any differently, do not baby him! And quit job hunting for him!
He has to get out there do it on his own in order to fight the depression. Build a fire under his butt in whatever way you know will work.
However, it is totally unnecessary to belittle him further, call him lazy or any other name. He is still your husband, show some respect!
2007-08-20 13:07:49 · answer #4 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is being lazy. He is the "man" of the house and needs to take on his responsibility of providing for his family. I don't think that you should be submitting his resume. I know that you are trying to help and there's nothing wrong with that, but he needs to be the one to take the initiative. You need to talk to him about this and let him know this is unacceptable. He sounds depressed so be sensitive and careful how you say things when talking to him. Good luck.
2007-08-20 13:00:25 · answer #5 · answered by Shelley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing a job is tough. Makes you feel worthless. He's acting on that feeling. At the same time, he has responsibilities that cannot be ignored. Talk to him. Let him know you understand, but at the same time, it's not the end of the world. There's something better out there for him. Life's tough, but he needs to keep going.
2007-08-20 12:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is.
Has he filed for unemployment? Have you guys talk it over - maybe he just wants to take a couple of weeks off? As long as he sets a goal to look for work after this short break, it's fine. When I was laid off a couple of years ago, I took a few months off, just because I could. It was nice. But then I had to get back into the groove and look for work.
2007-08-20 13:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's depressed. You need to tell him "Ok...you've had a week to yourself, now it's time to get busy finding a job" He just may need to be pushed a little. Why is he going out at night??? With what money? Credit cards? I would tell him that until he gets a job YOU need to be in charge of the finances.
2007-08-20 12:53:47 · answer #8 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's most likely he is depressed about losing the job. Excess sleeping is a tell-tale sign of depression. Getting up and out will help him.
2007-08-20 12:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, but have you always done things for him? I had to find my husband a job too! Maybe he's taking a break. 7 days should be enough thought. Tell him to get his a $ $ in gear!
2007-08-20 13:16:16 · answer #10 · answered by Meichelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋