how should i react to my friend who betrayed me?

Question

i had a friend scince 6th grade we were very close until we got to highschool sophmore year where she found this guy and just always ditched me for him and on top of it i hated the guy he was a scum bag and i knew she deserved better i tried to tell her but she wouldnt listien so one day me and her boyfriend got into a fight & she refused to talk to me scince then she gave up years of a friendship for that guy they lasted a year she finally realized how much of scum he was but she never apologized to me & ever wanted to start over with me 2 years have passed and i still think about it i always thought about going up to her & just talk everything out and start over but why should i u know why should i go out of my own way when she never even tried to talk to me its so sad how i used to consider her like a sister to me and my parents loved her and her parents loved me to for a while i actually forgot about her but today i saw her again & i was like i cant believe we turned out like this

by the way jewelsthomas before you start to assuming things i did talk to her before i tried to go out to eat with her and talk things over with her shes the one who rejected me so before you go yapping about how much of a ***** i was to her know that i was the bigger person this is to ( jewelsthomas )

AND ONE MORE THING THE REASON WHY I HATED HIM WAS BECAUSE HE WOULD START WITH ME ALL THE TIME AND I WOULD TELL HIM TO STOP !! AND SHE WOULDNT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

Answer 1

Family is forever not friends. Friendship changes,grows , Mutates, etc
1) Doe not sound like you friend asked your opinion on her guy
2) Just because you had been friends for a long time did not mean you treat or talk to her any way you wish. I bet she has a different view on how you spoke to her.
3) Sounds like you where try to come between her and her man. You where being too forceful trying to get her away. Happens alot with parent when they interfere with there kids dating.

You should have apologized for being negative, pushy and wanting her to do what you said (dominating). She cut you off because you where causing her pain instead of being supportive. You are the one who did the betrayal, she was just protecting herself. Plus you don't know why she broke up. May be she fell out of love and not the reasons you say.

I am pretty sure you will give me a thumbs down and not pick this answer because in your writing it sounds like you want everyone to agree with you .

Answer 2

Since you and she were such good friends until this guy came along then she turned into a different person. She cut off the friendship to be with a guy who's a total zero, and now that she knows this of him even though u have tried on many ossions tried to tell her this she still refuse to listen. So she trys to come back into your life like it was nothing without mentioning that she's soprry for the way she treated you the whole time. RIGHT?

Well u shouldn't let this go u need to say something because it will never be the same because of the long gap in to friendship. Tell her that the two of u need to confront what happena d why it was allowed to happen. Let her know that it hurt u that she would dump u as a friend for someone who 's a scum bag and u don't like the fact that NOW she 's realize he's in fact is a scum bag she can't just come back into ur life as if nothing happen.

Tell how it made u feel and it makes u wonder just how much of a friend she was to u since she so easely allowed someone to come along and breakup years and years of friendship.

She owes u an apology because she was in the wrong. She was so taken by the guy that she allowed it to block her judgement on u and other things, she feed into all he was about and pushed u aside as if u were nothing.

Now he's out of her life and she thinks she can come back to u and pick up where u left off, NO,,, that can't happen.

She needs to own up and no that she was wrong and that if she really wants to be a friend and loves u she needs to earn back ur trust, respect and freindship. Because all those things are valueable, and should be handeled with kid gloves.


Good Luck

I hope it works out

Answer 3

When we are younger sometimes we say the most hurtful things towards each other. Alot has changed in both of your lifes since that took place. I would put the past in the past and look it see if there could be a friendship towards the future. Lord knows I have had my share of burning bridges. But you cant burn all of them. Ya dont even have to look for an apology. Look at it as an Old Friend you havent seen and get caught up on the new.

Answer 4

True friends don't diss their friends over a guy, especially when it turns out that he is a scum bag after all. In order for you to find your inner peace and be able to move foward with your life, talk to her. Be honest about the situation and let her know that you DO NOT appreciate her putting you on the side just because she had a boyfriend. Friends are always there for each other, no matter what happens. Your friend needs to learn how to get her priorities straight. She hurt you big time and she needs to take responsibilities for the choices that she made. You deserve a friend that values and appreciates your friendship and unfortunately, she did not value you. Once you say what you have to say to her, move foward and make new friends. You know who she is and what she's capable of and you shouldn't have to put up with that. I wish you all the best and things have their way of working themselves out. Good luck.

Answer 5

well,people make mistakes,especially young people .Some girls are raised to think that once they have a man,nothing else matters.I am sure your g/f realizes now that's untrue.You still have love for her and if you want to talk about it to her then do so but don't expect her to just say she was wrong,etc.Maybe she feels the way you do and maybe she is still that girl who puts a man first. You aren't responsible for the emotions of others and sometimes people come into your life and go .Some leave impressions and some stay around.Whatever the events,these people are just people who come into your life to help you learn something you need to learn,just as being with you was something she needed to learn.Say what you want to say and move on.

Answer 6

We are told by the good book that realationships are very important. It is evident that your friends now knows that you were right, however, she may not have it in herself to approach you and make amends. This is normal for many. I'd recommend you contacting her and simply ask to talk story again.

Don't say anything about how you were right or anything like that. Simply put her interest in fore front and tell her that you are happy and hope that you two can become the best of friends again.

Going forward... You may disagree with the path your friend may take but know that you or anyone cannot force someone to change, they must and will change when they feel it neccessary. You are to continue your love for your friend and be there to support her in anyway you can.

Answer 7

That is sad...if I were you I would approach her...she should do it really but better to do it than always regret. If it doesnt work out then at least you tried. Only thing I would say is not to expect a big apology, she may not be a big enough person to do it...just try and see what happens. It may be for the best.

Answer 8

You have to forget about her. She treated you like scum it sounds like. For some unknown reason she changed for the worst. Alot of people are like that. Just know that you are a good person and try to make new friends. The worst thing you could do is talk to her again. If she comes to you and want to talk, spill out your feelings.

Answer 9

If this was 2 years ago move on. But know this, he's not the reason she dropped the friendship. You went to him and had a fight, you had no right to do this. While you may have been well meaning, you interfered in her personal life. She does not owe you an apology, you owe her one. I would drop a "friend" too if she felt she had the right to go behind my back and do what she thought was best for me regardless of my feelings. That's what parents are for and once we are out of their control no one else has that right.

Answer 10

I wouldn't go up to that B****. She should come up to you and apologize for being such a sorry *** friend and she is NOT your friend if you two have been close for that long and then stop hanging with you because she gets a boyfriend. There are plenty of people out there to be friends with just thank of it this way she is just one less person I have to thank about. So cheer up and don't bust your head over it because more then likely she isn't thanking much of you or the situation, I mean she stopped talking to you because her boyfriend is a jerk and I'm sure she knows that and she took his side that's n ot cool it is not cool at ALL.