My husband was married for almost 2 years. No kids. They lived in different states for 1 year (they werent together) but didnt bother going through with a divorce bc of money. Then I met him and it made him push for a divorce and they did. But she decided to keep his last name. And I dont understand why she didnt choose to change her name back to her maiden name. It cant be that big of a pain to change it right? I personally feel that she's not as a way to try to stay close to his family. Anyways, do most women who get divorced do this? Or do they normally change their name back? BTW I was pregnant with his child before they were officially divorced, and she was also pregnant with someone elses baby. They WERE NOT together though so please no rude comments.
2007-08-20 05:22:28 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not jealous of her, I don't hate her at all, I'm just wondering.
2007-08-20 05:28:39 · update #1
Well when Im sharing a name with his EX, who is his ex for a REASON it does concern me. Its not just any common last name that lots of people have. Actually his family is probably the only family in the US with it. Its GYURICA so I know its not because she likes that better than her maiden name.
2007-08-20 05:33:04 · update #2
We both had our babies a year ago, 1 month apart. And her child has her boyfriend or exboyfriends last name. She actually was telling my husband she couldnt divorce him because she was pregnant, even though by another man, so she could use his insurance!! (He was in the airforce).
2007-08-20 05:38:50 · update #3
Also, when you get married at 18, right out of HS, I'm pretty sure everyone knows you by your maiden name, not your married name. I still think of my friend who was married at 18 by her maiden name sometimes.
2007-08-20 05:41:07 · update #4
Most women keep it simply because it is a bit of a hassle to change it back to their maiden name (you figure everything has to be changed social security card, bank accounts, drivers license, credit card, etc.....), and if they plan of getting married in the future, then they would have to change it yet again. So they just wait until they remarry so then they don't have to go through the hassle any more than they have to. I don't really know why it would matter to you much anyway. As long as they are divorced, that's all that really matters. He's yours now, not hers. A name is just a name.
2007-08-20 05:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
But what you describe is not that uncommon. My dad's ex-wife kept my dad's name (they did have a son, but I don't know if this was the reason for her to keep his name); my brother's ex-wife also kept the name, and they didn't even have kids. To my understanding, she liked it better than her maiden name. For some people, changing the name has a deeply symbolical meaning - but for others, the reasons are more aesthetic (or practical); it depends on the person. I don't think his ex wants to stay close to the family or anything like that... I bet she just hated her maiden name, or some stupid reason like this. My dad and the woman who chose to keep his name have been divorced for almost 40 years; my mom and my dad have been married for 34 years, and yet my mom chose to keep her maiden name. Things can play out in many different ways. I'm married for the 3rd time, but I've kept my own name throughout my life, so I didn't have the issue of changing it back and forth. I still carry my dad's last name, always have. Don't dwell on it, and good luck.
2007-08-20 05:53:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kept my ex's name for awhile because we had a kid and I wanted the same last name as my child. Recently chanced it back to my maiden name when I decided it was worse to be associated with the ex! It is a pain to change the name back, so that could be part of the reason. I think it just depends on the person. Whatever her reason, don't let it bother you. It's only a name and he's with you now.
2007-08-20 05:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Mac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not necessarily abnormal for a woman not to change her name back to her maiden name. It just depends on the woman I guess. I am going through a divorce and I am changing my name back. It's not hard. It is usually done through the court at the time of divorce. They ask if you want it done. Then once it's changed through the courts, you have to change your social security and drivers license and any other bills, etc that need to be changed. Some women may not want to go through the hassle of having everything changed again. Since this woman is not married to him anymore, she can't legally do anything or have any part in his life unless he allows it. Hope this helps.
2007-08-20 05:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Shelley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very common for a woman to keep her ex husbands name.
In my case I wanted my name to be the same as my childrens.
It does cost money to change your name back. You said they didn't divorce because of money well that explains it. To write it into the divorce decree doesn't actually cost but to go and get all your official documents changed does. Same as when you get married. You have to get a new drivers license etc. Since you mentioned money that might be why. For the record it doesn't cost much but it's the persons own preference.
If she is out of your lives WHO CARES if she has the same last name? Shes in a different state. Try to get over it.
2007-08-20 05:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by Rita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Changing your name back to your maiden name is as easy as checking the box. There's nothing else to it except the social security, driver's license and banking changes. A small price to pay. I was only married about the same amount of time and couldn't wait to take back my maiden name. I don't know why more women don't do it....especially if you don't have any kids.
2007-08-20 05:28:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 18 and divorced... I changed back to my maiden name. If I were to get divorced now, I would not change it back, but only b/c we have a child together.
2007-08-20 06:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't understand why this is an issue for you.. you seem very suspect of this ex wife... apparently she is pregnant by someone else and in another relationship.
sometimes people keep their married name because it's a big hassle changing it on every credit card, bank account, doctor's offices, and with the social security office. she has had the marital name for a while now, and probably figures it's not worth the hassle to change it back
and also, her friends and associates probably know her by the current last name... why confuse the issue?
i can't believe you're worried about this, nor can i believe i actually answere the question LMAO
2007-08-20 05:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was divorced with 1 child when I met him. His ex decided to keep his last name, so the child wouldn't be confused.
Here's how un-confused he was. One day he asked me if I was his mom's sister or if we were related somehow. When I told him no and asked why he replied "because you both have the same name". Mind you she's been married 3 times since they were divorced.
I know how you feel but you got the man, all she's got is the name.
2007-08-20 05:32:53 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really an issue. Some women just prefer not to go through the hassle of changing their name back again. It takes a long time to transfer everything to your new name and also a trip to the courthouse to change the name. She just may have decided not to bother. I wouldn't worry about it, it doesn't necessarily mean anything.
2007-08-20 05:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by donanana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋