he called me last night to tell me that he made it there and he didn't sound happy at all......i asked him if he was ok he said he was but it did'nt sound right...he sounded really down....i need some advice this is his first time deploying and my first time dealing with this........what should I do?
2007-08-20 05:08:25 · 9 answers · asked by mrs. MJ 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Awwwww...I don't blame him for feeling that way. I bet it's his first tour, huh? I mean, he is out in the desert and in probably one of the hottest time of the year. My Husband was in Iraq at this time of year last year. Here are a couple of things you can do to cheer him up. Let him know that you are there for him and you support him 100% and that you'll be waiting for him. Send him an email of why you want to marry him and why he is your fiancee. Send him some pictures of yourself. Most important....send him a care package soon. That will make him feel more at home than ever. Spray your perfume in it too :)
The first 2-3 months are the hardest! Trust me....and after 3 months...time flies by so fast. He'll be home in no time. Pray for him and visit your local church so that they keep him in their prayers. Try not to cry when you're on the phone with him....this will depress him even more and he really needs to focus on his job out there and not get hurt. I hope this helps and believe me....I feel your pain.
2007-08-20 05:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first response, but to add to it:
If he enjoys music and you know how to do it make him a CD with some of his favorites on it. If you bake and he likes any kind of treat that mails well, cookies, fudge, brownies, even store bought goods you know he likes that can remind him of you and make him remember what he has to look forward to when he comes back. Letters every day if you can. E-mail is great if he has access but a letter shows you mean it. You took the time to actually mail it instead of just hitting send and going on about your day. The scent of your cologne is a great thing to include as is a picture like the other response mentioned.
If there is anything you can send him that can keep his mind occupied when he has spare time, puzzles, games, things that he can do for short periods and come back to are great because he may not have a lot of time at one time to do anything, but keeping his mind occupied will help.
And most of all you need to reassure him how you feel, that you are proud of him and what he is doing. I don't think anything makes it feel worse to be away in a far off country and think no one cares about you. He will get used to where he is and become more comfortable but it can take time. He can go to the local Chaplain for advice or counseling if he needs to talk confidentially about depression or he can go to the medical detachment. They have people there specifically intended to help those having trouble transition to the new station and they can help a lot. Keep letting him know he's not alone and if he needs it there is help available.
That's my 2+ cents I guess.
2007-08-20 05:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by Joe M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, for one. And for two don't worry about this guy anymore! He's obviously not ready to step up and be responsible! You sound like you have morals and are responsible! A wonderful person like you does not deserve someone like that! The stress that he is putting you through is enough to say he isn't worth it! Especially if he's not by your side while your having a miscarriage with HIS baby! That's just ridiculous! Your so much better than that! If I were you I'd get up out of bed and live the life you want, don't dwell on such a terrible person who is willing to treat you like that! You deserve better, and you can only help yourself by being strong and moving on! If you need anything feel free to email me! Hope all goes well with you, and god bless sweetheart! :)
2016-05-17 23:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him of what's going on in your life and the lives of friends and family. It may seem mundane but hearing about everyone will make him feel more connected and less isolated from the world he knows.
Also just keep telling him what a great sacrifice he's making and how that makes him a hero. He probably needs to hear that more than you know.
2007-08-20 05:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jennicysm 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO what you think is right. comfort him, tell him not to be scared, that everything is alright. Send him letters, his favourite videos, do anything that could comfort him! Tell him everythings ganna be alright!And keep sending him letters saying how much you love him, not saying you " shouldnt have gone or anything. ANd dont start seeing someone else, even though he may be gone for a long time!
2007-08-20 05:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is live your life and work towards your own goals. get out and walk more, play with your kids more. be cheerful. project a positive attitude. dont expect him too. he just went from america to the hell zone. he will have negitive days, he will be upset, he will be tired. just try to be his friend but dont get caught up in the hell that he is going threw. and dont expect him to understand or want to hear anything catty or female. be nice, pray, and understand he dont want to be there eithor.
2007-08-20 05:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by Ida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him two letters.
In the first one, tell him what a chick** **** so and so he is. He joined the service and now decided it's not what it's cracked up to be, run away, desert, etc etc etc.
Post it at the PO early in the day.
The next letter.
Tell him how much you love him. How much you care for him. All your prayers for his safe return. Take good care of himself, and his buddies. How his buddies will look out for him too. On and on and on.
Tell him he can choose to be miserable like the first letter, or think of you and that you think of him every moment, and how much you love him and miss him, etc etc etc.
Post it at the PO later in the same day.
2007-08-20 05:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by ed 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
well best is to let him know you are waiting for him and you love him.. dont say anything that can add up to depression . let him feel you care... and talk about happy memories. dont ever hang up a phone or have a heated arguement when you are talking to him... always hang up saying take care and love you.... and im waiting for you.
2007-08-20 05:15:42 · answer #8 · answered by AiLan W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sex on the phone? Do something cool with the house, redecorate or something so that he'll be really excited to see it when he gets back?
2007-08-20 05:15:23 · answer #9 · answered by le_miserable 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋