I know this sounds strange, but I have changed and still am doing some old behaviors. I know I am not the abuser of our family that mom was, but now when I came against sis's opinion about going back to my abusive husband and was fervent--I usually caved to her...well, all heck has broken loose. I am in a new reality...and they want the old beaten donkey back that says I apologize for everything....what do you do when no one will listen anymore and they say you are the abuser and I try to get back with them???anyone can right my head again??? get this? I am changing but the pain is still there? I am not welcome in their house because I no longer agree with sis and voice it strongly. Even toning it down I do not think will improve the situation, for they want me back in my box...or maybe I never could please them...or only for a while and they would care about me....mom and dad were same....as long as I agreed with them...now I am willing to mediate.get the picture, explain to me?
2007-08-20 04:51:14 · 2 answers · asked by wildrose7 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are changing the rules and your family doesn't want to accept this. It is good that you have finally put up some boundaries and are going to stick to them. The only person who can stop the abuse is you - and you did. I'm proud of you. Continue moving forward and if they continue to resist, eventually they will drop out of your life - sometimes this is for the best. However, most likely, after more time has elapsed (6 mos to a year) they will accept your boundaries and treat you with respect as you are NOW RESPECTING yourself.
You need to focus on doing what is best for you and your life. When you are well, the rest will fall in place. I always say actions speak louder then words, so, next time they begin harping, state something like, "I appreciate your concern but I am going to make my life decisions based on what is best for me, as I have to live my life." If they continue to harp and nag, simply excuse yourself and leave, or if on the phone, say, "I'm going to end this conversation now" and hang up.
Good luck.
2007-08-20 05:02:47 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably have no recourse but to be estranged from your family for the time being.
Stay true to yourself. Heal within your own heart and mind. Be good to yourself.
And right now with the attitudes of your family you can not do those things... so live well and do not cave..
2007-08-20 12:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋