Several months ago a new person was hired in the company, and my wife asked me if she was good looking. I told her, "I guess she's pretty." She looked at the girls picture on the company website and decided that she wasn't pretty etc., Whatever. This coworker and I have only a professional relationship, but because of the odd hours at work, not everyone gets to eat lunch at the same time. Ours happened to be at the same time yesterday so we decided to go out together. My wife was upset when I told her after work. Should she be mad? Did I really do anything wrong? Believe me, the conversation centered around work only.
2007-08-20 04:37:54 · 37 answers · asked by Techman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my coworker is single, since some of you keep asking.
2007-08-20 04:55:50 · update #1
I don't think you were necessarily wrong, but if your wife has an issue with it maybe you shouldn't do it anymore. My husband and I have an agreement to never go out to eat (or whatever) alone with someone of the opposite sex. If it's a work thing then it is still only acceptable in groups. That's our opinion I realize but my point is in order to protect your marriage and have peace you and your wife need to talk about these things and come to an agreement about what is acceptable.
2007-08-20 04:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
No. And here's my input. Regardless what your or her intentions are (that be the other woman), how do you know it won't develop into a office crush? You don't. In the workplace, you should not have any one on one time with a co-worker of the opposite sex. Your interaction with said co-worker should be office related only and even if you two went on a business trip together you best eat at different tables. She's a big girl, your a big boy, no need to have a sitter. Why do you feel you NEED to have lunch with her anyway? If you feel so comfortable that you thinks it's ok to have lunch with her, one on one, why not invite her over to your house to dinner, with the wife? Or better yet, invite your wife along on the lunch date with your co-worker. If you think those two answers are out of line then pal, you better turn it off fast.
2015-03-25 09:13:04 · answer #2 · answered by tc1uscg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that it would be best if you would keep your distance away from this coworker. You have a crush on this person and just being around him when unnecessary is not wise. If you get involved with this person there is gonna be consequences, and the main thing is that GOD does not like for married people to commit adultery. Think about how you would feel if you were married and your mate were having lunch and dinners, and getting rides with a coworker or anyone that has a crush on your mate. You know sometimes we have to put ourselves in certain situations and think how we would feel if we were in the other person shoes. Stay away from the situation and don't get hurt or hurt anyone else. Think about the persons mate and children that could be involved. Always remember the saying, what you do to others will be done to you, only worse. In closing: do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
2016-04-01 08:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if your wife went to lunch with an attractive male co-worker??
You are on the fast track to an affair. You already have a common interest, work. After lunch, it`ll be a late night at the office, then you`ll go to a roadhouse or the like and have a bite to eat , a few drinks, next you`ll wind up in the sack together.
Axe this relationship right now, keep a strictly working- workplace interaction only , If you must go to lunch with her, take along a male or female co-worker, always. Remember the workplace is just that,, if you are alone with her , you are potentially setting yourself up for disaster.
2007-08-20 05:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This depends on the couple. I agree that your wife may be a little insecure, especially by her actions. But I do believe a little jealousy is not a bad thing. Just proves how much they love you and don't want to lose you to someone else. For me and my hubby, we don't go out for lunch w/ someone of the opposite sex, unless it's a group of people, or we know the other person as a friend. Some people do see that as a "date" even tho it is nothing of the sort. So I would respect your wife's wishes and not do this again. Or you could get these two together to meet, and maybe your wife would not see this woman as such a threat.
Hope this helps.
2007-08-20 05:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by supermom 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why would'nt you have lunch with a co worker of the opposite sex is the question ? What the H is going on today are women really this insecure in their marriages and relationships ? Bottom line the only person who is wrong is the wife for being immature
2007-08-20 05:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
i used to go out to lunch with my boss quite frequently... actually two different bosses. we were both married, but what does that matter? married or single, i don't see why one would be more "threatening" than the other (unless you wife feels single women are desparate, and I, for one am NOT)
we went to lunch as coworkers, from my viewpoint, and nothing more.
our work life is a big part of our world... so it's not unusual to talk with and/or get to know some of our coworkers well after a period of time.
your wife has some jealousy and trust issues i take it.
if you had intention on having an affair with this woman, i'm sure you'd never have mentioned going out to lunch.
2007-08-20 05:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will repeat what everybody has been saying, you are not doing anything wrong. I'm a single female and I have lunches with male co-workers, married or single doesn't matter. I know where my place is and I would never cross the line.
I read other people answers, some of them are ridiculous, you don't have to invite your wife along for lunch because you will be alone with a female co-worker!!
How could I run a company if every lawyer, accountant and supplier I meet for lunch needed to have their wives come along!!! Ridiculous!
2007-08-20 05:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No you didn't do anything wrong. Has your wife ever been in a relationship that someone has cheated on her? She has insecurities. She might also be self conscious about the way she looks. Just reassure her that she's the only one that you want (only if that's true). Whatever you do don't tell her that she's being stupid, ridiculous, etc. that'll just make it worse.
2007-08-20 08:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by irisheyeslas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it honestly depends on the situation. I am married and on occasion I go to lunch with a male co-worker of mine who is also married. Just so happens that my husband knows this man (they grew up in the same town). It was kind of a coincidence, but that's how it happened.
Anyway, in your situation, I would say that your wife is being a little insecure. There's nothing wrong with going to lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex in my opinion. She should be glad that you thought highly enough of her to share that information with her. You didn't have to say anything. I can say that I probably wouldn't be overjoyed to hear that my husband went to lunch with another woman, but the fact that he told me would have made me feel better. However, I would always keep my eyes and ears open after that.
2007-08-20 05:19:20 · answer #10 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋